Tag Archives: senior year

roots and wings

If you follow me over on my public facing (i.e. heavily curated) Instagram, you’ll see that since the last time i was present in this space, I’ve read some books and done a little knitting and hung out with my cats. You’ll see some flowers (my peonies were really good this year) and some skies and a little wheel of changing seasons. 

However you’ll only see glimpses of the biggest events – those that involve my Person, my only child, as she finished her senior year in high school, went to prom, and graduated. 

She wore a stunning red corseted gown to prom (she didn’t like red initially but sometimes the dress picks you).

We gave her a party – not a big party, just for some of the people who are really important to each of us – which was a little stressful for me because I’ve never given a party before, but she had a vision and she curated it. (It was wildflower themed, and she picked all of the flowers for our planters, and she arranged all of the blooms we bought for the mason jars on every table. She set out her childhood Polaroid camera with her guest book, washi tape and paint pens, for all of our guests to sign. And she is painstakingly writing thank you notes on botanical themed cards. This is a project and a half for her but she is grimly determined to get them done.) We had a cappuccino cart with two amazing baristas who loved our Pride flag and our ferns and our front porch overgrown with Boston ivy. They paid us the highest compliment when they said that we live with “intention”. 

And just this past weekend, she was “orientated” at her university of choice ahead of starting fall semester. Her dad and I spent a day at Parent Orientation with her but not with her and saw where she will flutter off to from our nests. (I don’t remember anything like this when I went off to college. My parents drove our minivan the hour and a half to my school, dropped me off, and picked me up a few days later. There wasn’t any “parent orientation” and we were all shell shocked for the better part of my freshman year.)

All of this pretty much absorbed me for the past six months – on an almost cellular level – and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I read a quote during this process – “mothers are the givers of roots, seldom wings”. Our roots are deep and that is indeed what I consider to be the work of my adult life. But I want wings for her, too.

Now the summer has really started with a heat wave swiftly bearing down on us. (I know no one cares to read about weather in blogs…) I feel like I am about to plunge into another phase of processing all of the change that is happening with people in my life. I just want to be quiet now and sink into a summer of anonymity and privacy. Talk to no one, sleep a lot and get sun in my bones. Read some old Anne Rivers Siddons books at our pool club, drink wine on the porch in the evenings and tend to my own self, at least for a little while.

us at the pool

senior pictures – notes from behind the wagon

sneak peek #1 from behind the wagon

Senior pictures tested my mom skills in a way that they hadn’t been tested before. I already knew I could handle a dance and the related shopping and planning. In fact, senior HoCo had gone off well, I thought – the navy blue cocktail dress with the side sash that we’d ordered on a whim came in the nick of time. It was understated and elegant and very unlike the bright sparkly sheath dresses with chunky white heels that a lot of her classmates picked. Her boyfriend, like last year, wore a traditional suit with a matching necktie and polished dress shoes. They looked classic, elegant, “old school cool”.

Senior pictures were entirely different and I’ve been sweating them since her junior year. For whatever reason, it’s possible that I put more pressure on myself with these mom-centric occasions that maybe I should. I am determined to the end of my grit and determination to make each of them the absolute best for my daughter that I absolutely can and often pay a high price in worry and fretting. How do you find a good photographer? How can you be sure of the weather? What the heck does she wear? Those pictures are forever! It felt massive and daunting. The kiddo was fairly indifferent about the whole thing early on while I tore my hair out. Neither of us wanted summer pictures- we wanted fall color. However, between her marching band and EMT cadet schedules, every fall Saturday was booked except for one lonely little day there which I marked with a big circle.

With the help of a 2025 graduate friend, we found a photographer and by some miracle she had one slot on that one Saturday. When the day came, it was hot and clear. Due to the very warm and dry autumn we’ve experienced in Michigan, the fall colors here are very disappointing. We met the photographer- a no-nonsense, open and friendly woman with a brisk handshake who instantly put us at ease. She had scouted a couple of locations and put me to work pulling her massive utility wagon behind them as she and my beautiful daughter strode long legged amidst the small historical village and trails she’d picked. It was hot and I labored with that wagon up and down hills and trails and at one point the sky did open up with rain and we huddled under her golf umbrella while she and my daughter cheerfully assessed where the color might be best once the shower stopped – up that hill? (Please no, I can’t pull the wagon that far…) We saw groups of kids from a neighboring high school descend in small knots for their own Homecoming pictures. I saw many of the boys wearing (dare I say it – rumpled) black pants and black dress shirts with white sneakers, sunglasses, and neon bow ties matching their dates’ bright dresses – definitely not the ‘Mad Men’ vibe that my kid and her boyfriend had opted for, but it was fun nonetheless to watch their camera poses and exchange waves and smiles with other beleaguered parents.

After almost two hours of shooting and one outfit change, backdrops of field and fence, trees and trail and barn and silo and fieldstone and old columned porch, with the weather laying down on us like sweltering August, I had sweated through my shirt and my shoulders ached, but my heart sang. I gratefully surrendered the wagon to the still-buoyant and daisy-fresh photographer and thanked her for what I am sure will be some amazing photographs and memories. The kiddo and I were completely wrung out and the day ended with her crashed on the couch with Quarter Pounder, grateful removal of her makeup, and a bad vampire movie while I thanked the senior parent gods for guiding me through another one of these milestones. 

sneak peek #2 from behind the wagon

There are only a couple of these senior-specific challenges left that I have to rise to meet and the most dreaded one is left for the spring – the graduation party. That, my friends, is going to make senior pictures look like a literal walk in the park.