Category Archives: season of mists and mellow fruitfulness

bountiful

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And now, Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer. I worked from home for a few days last week to finish out Miss L’s last week of summer holiday and the windows were open, the breeze is cool and the skies are so very blue. The cicadas grind in the trees and it’s my favorite time of year.

Brandon has been working in Miss L’s old room to paint and put up his map collection in preparation for it to become his new study. He’ll be building shelves next. We hit up the hardware store for some supplies and I stocked up on finch socks because the little golden birds have already stripped my coneflowers.

The cooler temps have meant that the windows are open for sleeping, and on Sunday night I was awakened twice by a loudmouthed little owl in the yard – I Googled the call in the morning and identified it as an Eastern Screech-Owl. I’ve had them in the yard before, but I don’t usually hear them at night, so it was kind of a treat for geeky birdloving me.

Sadly, our girl Pot Roast has had some digestive issues – we think related to the cheap wet food that Emmett and Sarge feel absolutely passionate about – so there have been some messes to clean up, mostly in the middle of the night in the most inconvenient places. I’ve switched her to a Royal Canin for sensitive tums and hope that will help, otherwise it will be a trip to the vet for the littlest gangster.

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We rounded out our long weekend with a Tigers game on Saturday night and wonder of wonders, they actually beat the Twins and we got to see a couple of home runs! Before the game, we had burgers, beers for me and Brandon, and a milkshake for Miss L at Lovers Only. I tried the Impossible Burger for the first time and probably would not have known it was not beef, except then I tried Miss L’s Classic Smash and there was a difference. We agreed that for convenience and proximity to Comerica and ease of in-and-out, Lovers Only can’t be beat, but the milkshakes at Royale with Cheese are much better. And I will always rank the olive burger at Checker Bar highly!

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I did some meal prep for the shortish work week – overnight oats with some frozen blueberries and a quinoa & white bean skillet for lunches. Also a sweet potato which I’ll pair with black beans and kale later this week.

Sometimes it’s nice to go away for a long holiday weekend but I like this kind, too, where we just stay at home.

I am hoping that everyone in Hurricane Dorian’s path is safe and sound and if they’ve chosen to evacuate, that they’ll be home again soon.

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bonhomie

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A few more sleeps until Thanksgiving week, which should hopefully be less busy than the last few weeks have been. So what have I been up to? A lot of side hustle, honestly – who would have thought that an online certificate class could be so absorbing? I’ve been putting in a lot of hours with Statsky 8th edition and the Federal Civil Rules booklet. The upside to this is that it’s all very interesting and even the tests and homework are like little mind puzzles to break apart and peer into. So I don’t honestly mind the extra time even though it does mean less time for other things I enjoy, like knitting or reading for pleasure.

B & I spent a very rainy but lovely weekend in Chicago – it’s sort of a “meet in the middle” spot for us. I took the train so I would be able to study and finish my tests and homework for the week (and also avoid parking fees and Chicago traffic). We stayed in a haunted hotel (no sightings!), went to the art museum, ate some great meals, had drinks, and walked many miles.

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Next week I will be loading up my car with all manner of things and driving out to see him in Iowa City. Miss L will be with her dad and although I’ll miss her very much, I know she’ll have fun and I will, too. I’m taking B a little Christmas tree and packing a box of cooking supplies & provisions for Thanksgiving (he found the cutest little 9-lb turkey for us). He likes Iowa City a lot and I’m excited to see the campus and his neighborhood.

Before that, though, Miss L will be stepping out with her elementary school choir to warm up the crowds at the Fox Theater in Detroit this Sunday! Her choir will be singing Christmas tunes on the stairway of the Fox preceding a performance of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. My grandmother, a singer and retired church choir leader herself, was tickled pink that L has joined the choir and sent her some spending money for a new dress & shoes. We are all excited to start the holiday season in such a festive way!

Lastly, yesterday was the annual Widget Central potluck. I love this event…one of the engineers’ side hustles is as a wedding singer and he sets up his keyboard and croons live music for us.  The Engineering manager uses part of his budget to get two hams and a turkey (“it’s better to have more than not enough,” he shrugged yesterday) and we gorge on all manner of  delicacies, from rice balls brought by the Japanese associates to butter chicken and curries from the Indian engineers to seven-layer dip to homemade bread…the list goes on. I ran out of time this week and bought a pumpkin roll…I considered taking it out of the plastic box and wrapping it in plastic wrap and trying to pass it off as homemade but I didn’t even have a chance to do that. It was no matter. It was still a bountiful meal and the music was funny and touching and the room was full of bonhomie and, as always, reminded me of the common things that bring us all together.

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I’ll close with a gentle reminder about the proper way to approach your Thanksgiving dessert…xoxo.

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seasonal equipoise

Fall is my favorite season but this past week has been almost too busy to enjoy! (Almost.)

I’m in my second week of a paralegal certification class. My boss is amazingly supportive about education, and in fact, Widget Central has approached me twice about sending me back to law school…I considered it, but with L at the age that she’s at, it’s too much. However, when I asked if I could pursue my paralegal certification, she agreed readily..I have a bachelor’s, and my responsibilities at Widget Central are more middle-management than straight paralegal, but having the certificate can’t hurt in case I ever decide to head out and want to work somewhere else – a law firm, or another corporate legal department.
I opted for an abbreviated yet intensive certification program from a highly rated university. I quickly realized that it’s much more demanding than I’d been envisioning. I’ve been spending my free hours reading and doing homework, tests and essays, and while it’s interesting and absorbing, it’s definitely challenged my time management skills.

On top of the classwork side hustle, it’s always a busy week leading up to Trunk or Treat at L’s elementary school. If you remember from last year, L’s family takes Halloween seriously! We swept the awards last year, with L’s dad and stepmom winning the grand prize and me taking runner-up. This year, L’s dad was out of town for work, so stepmom K and I teamed up and did a joint Harry Potter theme. K is enormously talented and made a spectacularly lovely dragon – she buys material from special-effects shops and her work is boggling. He is a beauty. Unfortunately, when ToT arrived, it was pouring down rain and so the event was moved inside to the gym. We decided not to bring the handsome fellow because of the rain, but she still outdid herself with props and decorations and we won Best Design. L had a great time and that’s what matters most and I have to say, I really enjoy spending time with K – she’s a great artist and a down to earth person and a huge asset in L’s life! We are truly blessed.

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Usually I do not post pics of L on this site, but I have to share this one of her Halloween costume because I really think it’s something special. L designed and envisioned a Steampunk theme and K brought it to life.

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Before the side hustle started, I also had time for some knitting…Raveled here.

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And of course – a Halloween poem – with new word for me – used in the post title!

Haunted Houses

All houses wherein men have lived and died
Are haunted houses. Through the open doors
The harmless phantoms on their errands glide,
With feet that make no sound upon the floors.

We meet them at the door-way, on the stair,
Along the passages they come and go,
Impalpable impressions on the air,
A sense of something moving to and fro.

There are more guests at table than the hosts
Invited; the illuminated hall
Is thronged with quiet, inoffensive ghosts,
As silent as the pictures on the wall.

The stranger at my fireside cannot see
The forms I see, nor hear the sounds I hear;
He but perceives what is; while unto me
All that has been is visible and clear.

We have no title-deeds to house or lands;
Owners and occupants of earlier dates
From graves forgotten stretch their dusty hands,
And hold in mortmain still their old estates.

The spirit-world around this world of sense
Floats like an atmosphere, and everywhere
Wafts through these earthly mists and vapours dense
A vital breath of more ethereal air.

Our little lives are kept in equipoise
By opposite attractions and desires;
The struggle of the instinct that enjoys,
And the more noble instinct that aspires.

These perturbations, this perpetual jar
Of earthly wants and aspirations high,
Come from the influence of an unseen star
An undiscovered planet in our sky.

And as the moon from some dark gate of cloud
Throws o’er the sea a floating bridge of light,
Across whose trembling planks our fancies crowd
Into the realm of mystery and night,—

So from the world of spirits there descends
A bridge of light, connecting it with this,
O’er whose unsteady floor, that sways and bends,
Wander our thoughts above the dark abyss.

heap the logs

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Happy Halloween to all my monster friends. I’m not dressing up this year but if I were, I’d probably be Emily the Strange, or if I had a great costume, Elizabeth Bennet.
I love Halloween but hate the day after. On November 1, it always seems as though the dark has firmly gripped us – and the streets seem empty, littered with dead leaves and detritus left from the festivities the night before. Still, though, we celebrate. Miss L’s school had their annual Trunk or Treat in the parking lot and we all showed up with candy and decorations. I dressed Finn up with an Under the Sea theme, $20 worth of decorations from Amazon and our old fish tank full of candy. To my great excitement, I won Runner Up, and got a trophy pumpkin and a gift bag.

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Miss L’s dad and his partner K also came, and their Abandon Ship theme was funny and impressive and won the Principal’s Choice.
We all stood together to get our picture taken for the PTA, with the school mascot and principal, and Miss L in the middle. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of tremendous gratitude that we have overcome whatever problems we might have had and can do things as a family for her. I can’t speak for them, but I really enjoy the mutually supportive and understanding relationship we all share. Maybe we’re strange, but I still like my ex-husband and I like his girlfriend, too. We have all worked hard to get along and be kind to each other and it gives me a great sense of accomplishment that we have succeeded so far.

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The weekend was busy, but there was time spent with my other quasi-family, Jax and his kids, cheering on his son at the Regional cross-country meet and his daughter at her ensemble performance for a Halloween program at a local nature center. Miss L had a great time and to top it off, Michigan beat “little brother” Michigan State. I celebrated with a special manicure.

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November looms tomorrow and I am excited and intimidated to report that I have decided to participate in NaNoWriMo – national novel writing month. I always swore that I wouldn’t dabble in any of these cheesy acronym things. However, the thought of being motivated to write every day, and have a goal of 50,000 words in a month, and tools to help keep me accountable, excited me this year. So we will see. I will keep you updated on my word count periodically throughout the month and of course a full progress report at the end – how many words I achieved, etc.

Enjoy your All Hallow’s Eve….

All Souls’ Night, 1917

Hortense King Flexner

You heap the logs and try to fill
The little room with words and cheer,
But silent feet are on the hill,
Across the window veiled eyes peer.
The hosts of lovers, young in death,
Go seeking down the world to-night,
Remembering faces, warmth and breath—
And they shall seek till it is light.
Then let the white-flaked logs burn low,
Lest those who drift before the storm
See gladness on our hearth and know
There is no flame can make them warm.

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autumnal things

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Life has been a whirlwind of fall activities and general busyness, mixed in with angry cats still peeing on things, flu shots, hating Donald Trump, and wishing the weather were different. You know, the usual. The weather, at least, has finally started to cooperate, with rain and gloom (YASSSS!)  but it was unseasonably warm for several days and Miss L’s first pumpkin melted into slime on the porch. Luckily, one of our fall activities is our annual orchard trip with my brother and family tomorrow, so hopefully we can pick up another.

Other fall activities have included Girl Scout Core Camp (which I live tweeted – link in my sidebar), the book fair at school (I ran the cash register for a shift and realized how much happier I would be if I could get paid what I earn at Widget Central to do that as my real job), and preparing for Trunk or Treat next week. I’d planned on making all of Finn’s decorations out of crepe paper and construction paper and posterboard but who am I kidding. I can barely remember to take out the trash and I have a rotted pumpkin on my porch. I spent $20 on some preprinted cutouts on Amazon and Bob’s your uncle – done.

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After my recent running ennui, I am starting to get back into the rhythm of heading out for a few miles every couple of days or so. No pressure. No watch. Tricking myself into liking it again.

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the 5k that should have been a half. you can’t see him, but my dad is over on the left in that triumphant finish line pic, just out of the frame.

I’m also knitting a lot. My mom’s cowl is almost done and I actually knitted up a cute little Christmas tree decoration out of forest green alpaca. It was still on the needles waiting for bind-off when Sarge, one of the angry peeing cats mentioned above, rummaged in my knitting bag one day. He found it on it’s very attractive wooden needle and dragged it out of the bag, around the house until the needle fell out, the stitches unraveled, and he drowned what was left of it in his water dish. That was discouraging – not gonna lie.
He and his brother Emmett went to the vet last week for a checkup and a refill of their prescription. This was a traumatic experience for all of us. Getting two angry cats to the vet is no joke. They each had to have blood drawn…Emmett did fine, and then they took Sarge back. Miss L and I waited in the examining room without much concern. Sarge is pretty laid-back and during his last vet visit, he charmed all of the nurses. I assured them that he would be easy. After about five minutes, however, we heard a blood-curdling yowl that echoed through the entire cinder block office. Sarge came back with a walleyed nurse, gave us all a dirty look, sat down on the floor, licked his butt, and shook his paw until his pink bandage flew off. We got home, got everyone settled in their separate rooms, and the pharmacy called to advise me cheerfully that the chicken liver flavored feline Prozac is back ordered indefinitely. That’s just great, I thought. So for awhile longer, we live in chaos. The bright side of this is that I found a great recipe for stain removal on Pinterest.

So that’s the update. I hope things are well in your neck of the woods.

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october hunter’s supermoon as seen from gs camp and as photographed on my crap iphone camera.

i know, i know.

I know, I know. This is why I will never have a famously well-read blog that I can actually make money from and then melodramatically complain about the stress of writing sponsored posts for a living. I am lucky if I post once a quarter and look, not even a big splashy photograph to set the theme.

It’s autumn here in southeastern Michigan but still feels like summer. I am still stubbornly single and it looks like it’s going to stay that way for awhile if not longer, since the only male that I can remotely see myself marrying is Jim Harbaugh and he is taken. And would likely be no better equipped to put up with me than any of the other hapless, deer in headlights men that have blithely attempted to date me and quickly realized that for one reason or another they were utterly and completely in over their heads. (I always thought I was a pretty normal person, but based on the state of my interpersonal relations with the opposite sex, I am now willing to concede MAYBE NO). Mercury Retrograde has once again wreaked havoc personally and professionally with an influx of busyness, tasks, stress, and annoyances but I am largely unconcerned with all of them. Morning meditations and evening tea.

Miss L is joyfully back to school and already has math homework that I can’t figure out. (Common core…!#$%) I haven’t vacuumed in a couple of weeks and there is a spider living in the mailbox that is SO BIG that I can hear its legs tinking against the metal when the lid is closed. I am astonished that the mailman is still brave enough to put his hand in the box to put mail in there since I can barely bring myself to pull the mail OUT and have to shake every piece vigorously to ensure that the goliath isn’t clinging to it.

I haven’t vacuumed in a couple of weeks but am keeping well up with laundry. You’d think that this lack of household cleaning would mean that my attention has been focused on the yard, but no. It is mostly dead or dying. The chipmunks have decimated what’s left of the heirlooms, my house was stalked by a raccoon, and the leaves are starting to fall. This will continue until it snows. The maples lose their leaves first, before anyone is remotely ready to rake. My house looks like a Peanuts cartoon – all green lawns up and down the block and then MINE, hidden under a red and gold mound. I will curse bitterly and get these raked up and then the tulip tree will wait until the very end and drop all of its leaves, so I will be raking in the sun and heat and raking in the cold and sleet. Or not raking at all, which will make the neighbors grit their teeth. I don’t mind so much about Snow Hag on the one side, but I do feel sorry for the dentist on the other. He has a really beautiful lawn and gardens and I am quite sure that when GB moved out, the dentist wept, realizing that a divorcee would never be able to keep pace with yardwork. I try, but have become reduced to just mowing the one strip of grass on his side of my driveway so that in comparison, things don’t look so bad.

Rather than doing chores, I am taking naps and reading ‘1Q84’ by Haruki Murakami. I’ve read some really good books this summer / fall but will save that for another post, as well as my running update. I have a goal of publishing once a week (hahahaha…WHEW) I’ve also been helping Miss L’s Daisy troop – we did a great trip to Gleaner’s in Detroit, and I was a parent helper at their last troop meeting. I thought this would be the equivalent of a child’s birthday party (read: painful) but it was actually pretty fun and I made myself proud by getting all of her badges affixed to her vest (finally). I’m scheduling work trips and getting my passport renewed and watching the Weather Channel and ‘Orphan Black’ and wondering why my DVR won’t record the new ‘Muppets’. (Is that a sign from the universe?)

So, the world proceeds apace. See you next week (hahahaha….WHEW) for my next post.

PS – What does it mean when one has dreams over two nights about someone who they haven’t thought about in years? I haven’t thought about my friend from high school in a long time, but the past two nights I’ve dreamt of her and this concerns me vaguely. I’m also dreaming about packing, which is easier to symbolically deconstruct.

embrace the new reality

Thanksgiving is now, officially, my favorite holiday. It used to be Halloween, but over the past couple of years, I’ve changed. I love the time of the year, the bleak brown and grey landscape, the quality of the light. I love the harvest time, the concepts of feeling gratitude and giving thanks. It is a simple holiday of being appreciative and being with people you love, taking time off from your daily routine and celebrating with eating. It can get a little lost nowadays in the rush before the consumptive, expectant madness of Christmas, but it is a holiday worthy of much love, I think.

It’s my first major holiday without Miss L (I don’t count smaller holidays like Labor / Memorial Day, July 4, etc) and as such it requires an adjustment for me. I have to stay more focused on the many things that I am grateful for and be present in the moment rather than feeling sad or lonely and filling it with “I wish” and “if only” thoughts.

My boss has gone through a terrible year. We don’t always agree on everything at work and that’s okay, I still have a healthy respect for her, especially after watching her experience and process her personal tragedy. It’s odd, because I look at what she has gone through, and my own trials and tribulations seem small in comparison. Yet she seems to view me with greater kinship and compassion as well, and references, occasionally, my experience, and draws parallels about the reconstructions that have occurred in both of our lives, as if to say that we both understand things about each other that others in our department don’t. This is alternately awkward and comforting.

Today, the managers came through the halls and let people go at 3.00; I had a teleconference so I lagged behind, and ended up putting on my coat and packing up my gear when the building was all but empty, the last cars streaming out of the parking lot. As I put my scarf on, my boss came around the corner, and we stopped and chatted for a bit. At the end, we said our goodbyes and she kept going down the hall; then, a few steps away, she changed her mind about something, and turned around. She gave me a gentle hug, which is unlike her, and, smiling and looking sad at the same time, she said, “Let’s both embrace the new reality.” And nothing more needed to be said, and I started my holiday with a feeling of gratitude for that simple act of kindness.

May we all experience many simple acts of kindness, and pay them forward.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve. xoxo

 

how to survive november in the northern hemisphere

With a fire, and bread dough rising.

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I am practicing my fire-building skills, but I think I am going to need more wood for the winter. I also need to start thinking about a snow removal company. My badass homesteading skills do not extend to snowblowers.

It is sleeting outside, and there is another polar vortex (the first of the season! aww) bearing down on us early next week. I have chili in the crockpot. I should have been doing a Turkey Trot today but the time change, and the hours of darkness, have diminished my mojo. Today, all I want to do is hang out by the fire, make things, and watch the play of weather outside of the den windows.

I’m trying a simple five-ingredient French bread recipe, to cautiously dip my toe back into breadmaking. I love the idea of homemade bread but I’ve never been successful at it. I’ve tried a starter, but my sourdough is never sour. Finally I gave up, until I heard this on NPR a few weeks ago. I waitlisted the book at the library, but it fired up my desire to bake, so we’ll see how it goes.

Sarge is helping relax today. We wish you all a happy, relaxing Saturday to sharpen your saw, as they say at Miss L’s school. xo

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“Why do we have to grow up? I know more adults who have the children’s approach to life. They’re people who don’t give a hang what the Joneses do. You see them at Disneyland every time you go there. They are not afraid to be delighted with simple pleasures, and they have a degree of contentment with what life has brought – sometimes it isn’t much, either.” – walt disney

I am home from several days in the Happiest Place on Earth, and you know what? It was happy. Despite the crowds, and the exorbitant outlays of cash for souvenirs and toys, Harry Potter wand & robe, autograph book to stalk princesses, and $10 hot dogs (well, it had bacon on it) – it was happy. I felt as though for a brief few days, my concerns and troubles were left at the gates, and I lived in the moment in the park, only concerned with when our next FastPass started and whether we could handle a 40 minute wait for a ride or a princess autograph. Miss L had a great time. GB & I fell back into our normal mother – father rhythm and for a few days, it was sort of just the three of us again, which was a strange feeling, but not unpleasant, fleeting as it is.

Emmett & Sarge were livid that we’d been gone so long, and have spent the last day following me around closely to ensure that I don’t plan on leaving again anytime soon. The time changed while we were away, and we came home to bare branches and spindly November light. The days are short and darker now, and soon, the outside chores left undone will have to stay undone. I still have things to finish, but tonight I built a fire (a successful fire) and I have a striped cat lounging protectively at my elbow and dinner is in the oven and the darkness is pressing on the glass.

greenfield village halloween walk

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My dad’s loathing of crowds is notorious in our family. One of my favorite grievances from childhood, which I dwell on with regular morbid enjoyment to punish him, is the memory of taking a boat ferry to Mackinac Island on a lovely summer day…only to be confronted with an island full of tourists. My dad struggled gamely for a few minutes, we bought ice cream cones, I was enjoying a butter pecan in a waffle cone, and then bam. The huge influx of humanity evaporated his patience and just like that, I was being told to THROW AWAY THE WAFFLE CONE so we could get back on the ferry to the mainland.

As I get older, my attitude toward crowds is very similar. I still can’t imagine throwing away a perfectly good ice cream cone to escape them, but I find that large crowds really detract from my enjoyment of anything, and unfortunately, we experienced that this past weekend.

We are taking Miss L to Disney over Halloween weekend as a surprise, and although I know she’ll love it, I was starting to feel a little sad that she wouldn’t get the traditional Midwest trick or treating experience – the cold air, the fallen leaves, a sky full of stars, the crushing bummer of having to wear a coat over your costume. So I bought tix to the Halloween Walk at Greenfield Village.

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Greenfield Village is pretty awesome, but in my mind I always confuse it with Crossroads Village, which we frequented as children, and which is a little more rough-hewn, so to speak, than Greenfield Village. I was imagining more dusty tracks and rough edges and maybe a chill coming over the fields, a more genuine experience.

Pros:

  • The Halloween walk is a mile of hand-carved jack o’lanterns winding through a really amazing historic village.
  • They had a great old film reel of ghostly cartoons, all in black and white.
  • Parking wasn’t much of a problem.
  • The staff was decked out in amazing costumes.

Cons:

  • The crowds.
  • There were exceptionally long lines for the 10 treat stations and the treats were sub-par. If I’d known we were standing in line for a Twizzler, or a mini-Snickers bar, or a Halloween-themed postcard, of all things, I’d have bought a bag of treats ahead of time and doled them out to Miss L myself.
  • The crowds.
  • The crowds.
  • The crowds.

It was PROHIBITIVELY crowded and by the end of it (a winding mile walk is a lot for little six year old legs) we’d lost her mask and been dangerously close to being trampled several times. There was a vague promise on the website of the ‘Headless Horseman galloping out of the fields’ but this was just shtick as he merely stood near a fence and bantered with the crowds.

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Miss L was polite about the experience, but non-committal about wanting to do it again, and by the end of the night, we were both very happy to take our donuts home and get under a blanket on the couch. She was tuckered out from the crowds and the walking; I was a little bummed out about the crowds and the overall slick, unenthusiastic nature of the proceedings. I love autumn and I love Halloween, and I feel like people are so desperate for an authentic, historic, mystical, autumnal experience that they will stand in long lines for mass produced entertainment, crowded hayrides and pumpkin patches entirely devoid of sincerity, to achieve it. Go walk in the woods, for Pete’s sake, or visit a real farm, or just spend an afternoon raking.

The whole crowd experience, and Miss L’s lack of enthusiasm about it, and my own perilously squeezed patience with the masses, has made me more than a little apprehensive about Disney this coming weekend…We shall see.

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