I’ve never been fond of springtime. It makes me tired. I used to attribute this to a personal psychological glitch but it turns out it’s a real thing. ‘They’ – the ephemeral ‘they’ who are frequently referenced as all-knowing subject matter experts on a variety of topics – say it can be attributed to different factors including hormonal shifts, allergies, and weather changes. I also think for a Michigander who doesn’t like spring all that much, seeing bare, winter-pasty legs out in shorts the minute the temperature hits 50 doesn’t help.
Whatever the reason, I’ve been doing my best to shake off the lethargy and am annoyed at myself that I can’t. I should be doing all sorts of things to prepare for warmer weather, both physically and mentally, and instead I feel like I’m sleepwalking and still stuffing my face with carbs and wanting to go to bed at 8pm. This makes it a challenge when work is still demanding and I’ve been in high functioning burnout for the last six months and the kiddo has 2-3 soccer games a week that keep us up later and I have a bunch of little craft projects and books and whatnot and I still have the usual household work to accomplish. Anyway, thank you for indulging my foray into self-pity and I know I will feel better if I just get outside or get on the treadmill but dang.
This weekend was especially tiring but in a fun way. B & I had a long overdue date night downtown – we played video games at Barcade on Selden, had a very indulgent dinner at Selden Standard (grilled octopus, duck leg confit, charred sweet potato, house made rigatoni with pesto and chile, and a velvety Bordeaux), and sat out on the stoop of a nearby beer garden enjoying the mild spring evening. Then we wandered over to the Masonic Temple Theater for the Jack White show which was epic and face-melting. It was a homecoming show for him and the Detroit crowd showed their native son a lot of love. As a bit of backstory – Jack White paid off the temple’s back tax bill and saved the gorgeous building on the Cass Corridor from foreclosure. He never forgot that during especially lean times in the city, his mom was able to find work there as a theater usher. It’s a beautiful space and in 2022, Jack proposed to his now-wife onstage during an April show at the temple and Brandon was there and I had stayed home because of SPRINGTIME LETHARGY and I never forgave myself for missing that and now you see how all of this comes back around.
Despite what has been a mainly gloomy and wet week, I managed to get outside for a run one day. The rain has left the streets pooled and clogged with mud and winter detritus. The red-winged blackbirds, my March friends, were loud in the reeds and the sky overhead was changeable, one moment swollen and sullen, the next breaking with sudden and blinding sun. All of this made me feel, friends, that despite being in the teeth of winter for what feel like a long time, no winter, or freeze, or storm, or cloud, or desolation, can last forever. There is always hope and as that great wheel turns and turns, we shall have spring again.
And with that very solemn intro which does not at all match what will be a fairly fluffy post, here are a few recent pins to slake my thirst for the season ahead.
Believe it or not, I actually have two of these types of old lanterns in the basement. They’re so cool but I’ve never known exactly how to use them to their best advantage! Link here.
Similarly cute idea. I have been growing morning glories on a rusty old trellis on the east side of our house for a few years now and this would be a fun addition once they start filling out.
This is the general vision I have for the southwest corner of our yard, under our pine trees. I love hostas and ferns, and buy a few every spring to gradually fill in. I doubt we’ll ever have a water feature but I do want a nice stone birdbath for that space and the colorful birdhouse is sweet!
*From the post title. The final line of this poem always feels so significant to me (probably also because it is the last line of Ariel, and this line leaves too much unsaid; her fate was coming fast to meet her), full of a mix of emotions as these tiny creatures are summoned forth again to rise with the spring, no matter what obstacles they face. Joy, despair, survival, fight, death, rebirth.
“Will the hive survive, will the gladiolas Succeed in banking their fires To enter another year? What will they taste of, the Christmas roses? The bees are flying. They taste the spring.” (Wintering, by Sylvia Plath)
I hate to make proclamations but the spring so far has been okay and vastly better than the winter was. I’ve avoided making this observation because – you know, the proverbial ‘other shoe’ – but in my little corner of the Internet no one is really listening anyway so knock wood and let’s goooooo.
Making. My only recently finished object is a – dishcloth. (I subscribe to the Kitchen Sink Shop newsletter and every month she sends a free dishcloth pattern!) I am a slow knitter. I have two pairs of socks (plain vanilla on 9-inch circulars) going (they’ve been my springtime soccer field knitting), as well as the Cozy Comfort throw from Homespun House, and I have the Shift kit ready to cast on as soon as I finish the socks (and as a side note isn’t Andrea Mowry just absolutely gorgeous and so cool? I wish I could have that kind of edgy yet laid-back coolness). I’m also really close to finishing a cross-stitch kit (a little A-frame cottage). As usual I have too much stash, too many projects to start, and not enough time, and I still keep finding new kits, new patterns, and new yarn to fill all the nooks and crannies of my dusty little office / crafting space. I need to lock in and get some finished objects. (As usual you can find me on Ravelry as sixtenpine.)
Reading. On vacation in the Bahamas I blew through all seven of Martha Wells’ ‘Murderbot Diaries’ and would have just kept going if there were more. These were sci-fi about a futuristic security unit android that attains some level of cold human observation and affinity. SecUnit (or ‘Murderbot’ as it refers to itself) spends the seven novels alternately amused, horrified, sympathetic, fascinated, and repelled by the humans it is charged with guarding and its internal monologue is (for me) un-put-downable. After Murderbot I plunged into some dry histories (I went through a massive Mary Queen of Scots phase and then some Romanov which was depressing). Slogging through beheadings, conspiracies, doomed royals and the events of Ipatiev House might not have been the best overall choice and sadly my reading slowed down a bit. I’m trying to jump-start it with the new Tana French ‘The Hunter’ but it isn’t really doing it for me yet. (I wish she’d go back to the Dublin Murder squad format.)
Watching. Brandon and I finally watched ‘The Bear’ and loved it. I hope next season we get more of the Richie comeback and more Fak. The kid and I are watching the first two seasons of Twin Peaks (a multiple rewatchable for me, her first time) and she’s hooked. I’m debating about whether she’s ready for ‘Fire Walk With Me’ and you know, no one is ready for season 3 The Return. Maybe if I rewatched it, I’d understand it more. While Brandon is in Iowa during the week, I watched ‘Marie Antoinette‘ on Prime (LOVED it) and caught up on ‘Nordic Murders’.
Life Stuff. As I said, I think things have evened out from our winter of discontent (it was a tough one). Brandon still spends weekdays in Iowa and weekends here, and that has made for some adjustment, both for us as a couple and our family unit. It’s not ideal but we are working through it and understanding (or trying to) that it’s just a season of life and it too will pass and fade into a new season.
I am still dealing with pre-menopause health issues which all in all are pretty minor compared to some horror stories I’ve heard. HRT has helped with the mood swings, night sweats and recurring monthly pain and nausea. It hasn’t helped much with brain fog or weight gain, but I just have to keep pushing through. I try to eat well without restricting, and get out 3-4 times a week either to the gym or for runs around the neighborhood. I’d love to lose 20 lbs but I’m also not willing to head into the land of diet culture to do that, so for now it’s bigger pants. [shrug]
Soccer, soccer, soccer. Spring sports are a lot but this soccer season for the kid was fun and for the most part, laid-back. They’re not the best team but they’re not the worst, either, and manage to have fun and enjoy themselves even when they lose and when they’re playing in downpours or gale force winds. She just started a part-time summer job at the local family-owned garden center / plant nursery and I am hoping it’s a great vibe for her, working outdoors with little growing things. She has a male friend (ahem) and after several years of being at home with us every evening, now, on occasion, he’ll pick her up and they’ll get food or go to a school sporting event or movie. She is hoping to get her driver’s license this summer on her birthday and so I feel we’re on the verge of a big jump forward in terms of maturity and independence…I am alternately dreading it and looking forward to it. She took an AP exam this week, is mostly indifferent about her grades yet but still gets things done. She’s a good kid and we laugh a lot when we’re together, which is a lot, especially now that it’s just the two of us during the weekdays when Brandon is away. I have to balance the feeling that she is my best friend these days with the reminder that I am the parent, as well, and so that’s been an interesting line to tread.
Despite things being easier than they were a few months ago, overall, I am in a mostly introverted phase. And since I live my life as a baseline introvert, for me to say I am in an introverted phase probably realistically means I’m full-on hermit now. I viciously culled my personal social media feeds this winter and just don’t post much anymore. I’ve pulled back from volunteering for school things and the parent text threads. Work has settled back down into it’s usual place in my life, instead of waking me up at 3AM in a cold sweat, and if that means that some days I only can do what I can, that’s the way it is right now. I no longer have the bandwidth to put energy into things that look “right” but don’t feel “right” or pay back in emotional dividends and that runs the gamut from doing everything and more at work to trying to look like the perfect normal active cheerful mom in the neighborhood and school community. Hustle culture, social media pressure, competitiveness and comparison – it’s all real and I’ve had to seriously duck back into my introvert shell and focus on us – my little family – and how it feels instead of how it looks. We do our own thing and for us right now that’s healthy and positive.
The calendar says spring and although the weather is mild, I am suspicious. We’ve gotten some of our most punishing weather in March. The worst, probably, came a few years ago, when we had a windstorm that uprooted the neighbor’s massive pine and left me without power for three days – three days in which the temperatures plummeted to the single digits.
The spring holidays are my least favorite. They seem gaudy and false. There is a deep aura of melancholy to them. Even more since my father passed away in March, celebrations in the spring feel hollow when the world is working so hard to bloom again. In comparison, the autumnal holidays Halloween and Thanksgiving feel so much more festive. They come as a welcome relief, the end of another year. We celebrate the going of the light, put our masks on to scare death, we harvest and we gather with loved ones in the comfort of our homes to eat and give thanks. It’s always been easier for me to celebrate the culmination of a hard effort than the commencement of one. And spring always feels like a hard beginning, much harder than the dwindling season into winter.
Author’s Note: In March my family suddenly lost my father. There is no way that I can ever put into words what that has been like. For awhile, I didn’t want to talk about it, except with y mom and brother, and I didn’t want to be online at all, much less on my blog. But this space is about celebrating the things (mostly small things) that make me happy and bring me joy so I feel like that is positive and something I can do. My family has pulled together and we are dealing with our grief the way he would expect us to- by loving and supporting each other and moving forward as best we can and with humor. I don’t want to share any more, but not sharing our enormous loss at all didn’t feel right, either. I appreciate your support as always.
We’ve had a spate of warm days and spent most of them in the yard. We’ve raked up the detritus of our willow tree and I weeded and raked one small bed which contains a day lily, coneflowers, and sedum. I also planted container lettuce, tomatoes, and strawberries.
Brandon’s passion project this year is our grass. He’s spent an inordinate amount of time overseeding and patching and consulting with the Scott’s expert at our local hardware store.
I’ve been enjoying so much knitting lately although I don’t have many FO’s to show for it. I finished my Mittens to Fit by Slavi Thomsen in March so had to photograph them amongst the new spring growth. They’re Raveled, blocked, and go into the mitten basket for next winter (unless, in typical Michigan fashion, we get a spring snowstorm).
I’m currently working on these Beatrice mitts by Leslie Friend of A Friend to Knit With. They’re a super easy and quick pattern and the recommended yarn – Turtlepurl’s Striped Turtle Toes in the Trenchcoat colorway – is divine to work with. Although I’m really trying to de-stash this year and only buy yarn for specific patterns, I might buy another skein for another pair of Mittens to Fit.
I’m swatching a couple of different options for a cotton short-sleeved summer sweater.
I’m also watching some wonderful new-to-me crafting vlogs- Tales from Cuckoo Land and Ollie and Bella, both on YouTube. Chelsea Yarns is a newish one as well although I may have mentioned that before. So many beautiful things.
I am still working from home and still fine with it. It looks like we may go back in July and in my current frame of mind I am not eager to do so. I can’t help but feel exhausted at the thought of the commute and constantly being surrounded by so.many.people. The upside is that I will be fully vaccinated by that time. Brandon and I got our notifications that we were eligible for our first dose at the big Covid clinic being held at the home of the Detroit Lions, Ford Field. One sunny Friday morning we went down and got our shots. It was a quick, friendly, efficient process and apart from slightly sore arms (similar to the flu shot) we felt no side effects. Our second dose is already scheduled for April 30.
I think that brings us somewhat up to date. I hope your spring (or fall, depending on your hemisphere) is lovely so far. xo
Six Ten 