Tag Archives: parenting

spring into summer

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I always have the best intentions to regularly update this space, and then I finally get around to writing and look back and realize I haven’t been here since March.

So what have I been up to since then? All the things I usually am. The kiddo has gone from her school year activities of band, soccer, and theater to her summer activities of Driver’s Ed (how??), band (always band), and art camp. Work has been busy and I have been active with running (sort of), knitting (probably need a whole post about that), and Weight Watchers. I have been pretty consistently on the WW app yet have only lost about 5 lbs in 2 months…menopause is a bitch.

We saw ‘Six’ at the Fisher, the kiddo had a spectacular run in ‘Hello Dolly’, we got a bond at the local pool club, and I got braces.

And I turned 50.

I started a whole solipsistic post about that and didn’t finish it (you’re welcome). I know age is just a number, but I really do feel a sea change about this particular number. I know I can’t just entirely retire in this decade, but I have been able to begin the process of evaluating where I am investing my time and energy and more importantly, why. During this decade, I hope to be more thoughtful about that and begin to swing away from doing things for other people and more for myself. Less because I ‘have’ to and more because I ‘want’ to. And when that’s not possible, to give myself grace in how I approach those things. For example – can I quit my job? No. Do I sometimes dream about retirement? Yes. But when I stop and think about it – I really like my job and even in retirement I don’t plan on giving up work altogether unless I’m forced to. So is it my job itself that I dream of giving up, or the mental stress and pressure I put on myself ABOUT my job that I can reconsider? It’s more about shifting the narrative about what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I work because I love being able to financially support myself, my home, and my daughter. I work because I really love the people I work with and am interested in the job I do. I GET to work. However, I also love who I am without work. I have no interest in being promoted, making more money, hustling, changing jobs, or advancing myself in any way other than showing up and doing a solid, ethical job at what I’m responsible for – but putting work on an equal footing with my family, my home, and MYSELF. Not letting it usurp other things I love and need, and take up more space than it should – and this decade, that is enough.

Same with my health. Would I love to lose 20 lbs and be the same weight I was ten years ago? Yep. Am I willing to put the work into doing that? Probably not. Am I tracking and using WW just for the weight loss and how I look? No. I feel better when I consider what I am putting into my body and have goals about the kind of foods I am eating, about drinking less wine, drinking more water. And running. Would I love to set a half-marathon PR that crushes what I could do ten years ago? Yes, but I don’t run because I am trying to do that (or even think that’s really possible). I am not doing these things to flog myself into being something I’m not. I run because I feel better when I move my body and I know that these things give me a greater ability to grow old gracefully in a healthy and happy way.

So those are the big things. In other news, it’s summertime here in SE MI and I’m looking forward to a relaxing evening at home with Brandon and then a busier day tomorrow. The Girl Scout troop (yes my kiddo and her friends are still hanging in there with Girl Scouts) and accompanying mom troop are all headed to Cincinnati on Sunday for a couple of days hanging out in a sprawling, historic AirBNB Victorian, cooking for each other, shopping, eating, and visiting King’s Island. Ten years ago the thought of these 2-3 days would have given me hives. Now – I’ve known these women since our kids were in second grade and they’re my mom tribe. They’re the women I text when I have questions about marching band or something happening at the high school. We are who we turn to when the school is on lockdown because of a threat investigation (which has happened no fewer than 8 times this year). So while this probably isn’t the ideal way I would spend my vacation days, I no longer have any anxiety about it – I’ll load up my books and knitting and they’ll know that I’ll be the first to go to bed and no one cares.

I do have plans for a knitting post and a Favorite Things post – I have lots of little fun conspicuous consumption items that I’ve found and have been enjoying. Whether those posts come in June, July, August or beyond – I make no promises. But be well in the meantime!

drinking from a fire hose

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My brother recently said that his week felt like drinking from a fire hose and I thought it was such a perfect description of my 2023 so far. As always, there are things that I can’t / won’t blog about but let me just say that teenagers are no joke, y’all. There are times when I feel like a stranger has taken up residence in my kiddo’s appallingly messy bedroom and is stomping around in her new varsity jacket. I know we all go through this terrifying developmental stage and my own parents advised me on more than one occasion that I was a massive storm cloud during my teen years but sometimes you have to live with it to really get it. And kids these days have very different concerns and stressors than we did with the omnipresent influence of technology and social media. Sooo… deep breath, both hands on the wheel.

Likes this week: A mid-week snow storm which didn’t disrupt my life too badly, just laid down a nice fluffy blanket of white that’s been largely absent so far this winter. Looking up at almost 6pm the other day and seeing that it was still light outside (we’re starting to move out of the dark season now). Keeping up with my 2023 reading challenge and finding a new cozy series (the Dr. Nell Ward mysteries by Sarah Yarwood-Lovett) to keep me occupied. Keeping up with my vitamin D and happily finding the missing 3 cards from the tarot deck that my parents gave me for Christmas when I turned 14.

Dislikes this week: See first paragraph above.

This weekend is a breakfast with my bestie and a big football day on Sunday for Brandon, via his team the Bengals. TGIF!

a busy october

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This is the time of year I love best. We are still getting warm, honey-dripped sunshine days here in Michigan, but also chilly nights, crunching leaves, changing skies and the smell of woodsmoke.

LIfe continues apace. The kiddo got glammed up for her Homecoming dance a few weeks ago and seemed to enjoy herself, although she did comment that it was really just like a much more intensive middle school dance.

Marching band will take up an inordinate amount of time through October and it’s our main social activity, both the kiddo’s and mine. I had no idea what a commitment it would be as a ‘band mom’ but for as tiring as it can be, I love volunteering my time and hanging out with the other band parents. There are full weeks of rehearsals and then on weekends, tailgates and football games, and band competitions. I help out with uniforms before and after every performance and try not to embarrass the kiddo too much by my presence. I’m so happy that she consents to me participating in her activities through volunteering and I love being involved. I’ve met many great people and we’ve developed a small village of supportive, engaged parents that I just don’t know what I’d do without. I fully confess to being a full-on band geek so I can think of many worse ways to spend my time on weekends than watching a great marching band. This past weekend we were at Chippewa Valley for a competition and despite the chill and the wind, it was an exciting and fun event for everyone.

Unfortunately, the cooler weather and busy schedules have also meant random colds and illnesses and a lot of Covid tests (fortunately all negative so far).

On top of it all, I signed up for a weekly crochet class through the month of October and so for two hours every week, I’ll be working away at swatches and then moving on to a granny square. I have to remind myself that I deserve these times away from work and my family because we’ve been so busy that it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking I am existing the best only when I’m doing something productive for someone else, and I feel guilty about having something just for myself.

I have so many knitting projects in the queue that I don’t even know where to start – I think I’ll do a full rundown of wips and planned projects very soon because if I don’t start making lists, I’ll forget what I have squirreled away in various bags and baskets.

So that’s the update from my corner of the world. I hope wherever you are, you are doing well and are safe, healthy, and doing things that make you happy either just for yourself or for / with people you love. xo

thursday night lights

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As anticipated, last week was rough. I went into it without a lot of energy and my sense of stress and overwhelm already at a high level. The kiddo had a lot of activities that made for a couple of late nights for both of us, on top of a work schedule that was pushing me to take on challenges I didn’t particularly want or feel capable of. Everything just looked like a slog of responsibilities and nothing inspired any real joy or excitement in me.

When my kiddo is struggling, I try to impart on her that she’s not alone and doesn’t need to be. And that when it’s possible, the best way to deal with times of stress, overwhelm, and uncertainty is by leaning on people around you and pushing through. Make lists; tackle things one small step at a time. If you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl. Just keep moving forward any way you can and celebrating all of your positive actions, no matter how tiny they may seem to you. This is easy advice to give someone else and hard for me to take myself. When I struggle, I don’t want to lean on anyone and I don’t feel like anything I do is worthy of celebration – it all just feels inadequate. But this week, I DID take the small steps. Pot Roast helped keep me company on those late nights waiting up for the kiddo. I pushed through at work with lists and busy, productive mornings – even if I didn’t accomplish everything, I didn’t stay in bed with the covers over my head.

And I showed up at the first marching band tailgate for the first home football game with a big bowl of pasta salad and another newbie neighborhood mom in tow. She had texted me earlier that day telling me she was having a similar week of challenges at work, she was overwhelmed and tired, had never been to a tailgate and didn’t know what to bring; she didn’t even have camp chairs. “Don’t stress about it. Just bring juice boxes – I heard the kids love them – and I have two chairs, you can sit with me,” I said, without adding that her relying on me was like the blind leading the blind.

As an introvert, and a full time working mom, I frequently feel like I don’t need community or new friends, because they just end up being a drain on my already limited time and anyway, I get enough social stimulation at work. But sitting at that tailgate, hanging out with other marching band parents and petting dogs and swatting away bees while eating really unhealthy yummy food off paper plates balanced on our knees, I felt like it was the best time of the week. Even us newbie moms who felt like it was going to be just another challenge to ‘get through’ found ourselves relaxed and calm. No one needed anything from us except to be there and enjoy ourselves.

So I sat back and took a deep breath; I had another helping of someone’s macaroni and cheese, popped a juice box, and watched my kid fill her own plate and sit in a circle with the other band kids. The hum of laughter and parent conversation rose and fell around me, and later on, we all sat together on the bleachers and watched the halftime show under the Thursday night lights.

the post that wasn’t

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It’s entirely emblematic of recent days around here that I laboriously typed out a long post about our very busy weekend and WordPress ate it.

I was GOING to tell you all about band camp pickup on Friday night, the kiddo’s birthday celebrations over the weekend, and a houseworky Sunday, all of which made me feel like I didn’t actually get a weekend at all.

There was going to be some gripping content about the horrors of band camp laundry when band camp was subjected to downpours and leaky teepees (yep) as sleeping quarters. You were going to be thrilled by rumors of bed bugs in the boys teepee! And the story of the kid who rolled down the hill with a bass drum! Not to mention the star of our tale, an exhausted teenager who ate next to nothing all week because the food was terrible and not vegetarian, slept the whole way home but rose again the next day to celebrate her birthday properly!

hey sarge

I was also going to tell you that I picked up two books at the library and have been plowing through them but I wasn’t going to tell you much about them because I’m saving that for a dedicated book post.

There was also going to be a teaser about the week ahead which is another corker, full of work stuff and kiddo stuff. Including two band performances (one at the first home football game!) and FRESHMAN ORIENTATION (how is this even possible?!) And a teenager and a mom who are completely tired out and cranky and not ready at all for the challenges of what’s ahead! It’s like Frodo and Sam with the ring! Except not!

There was also some stuff about us making candles, but I am also going to have to save that for a dedicated post because it’s now late, I have to finish this, I have to schedule it to publish sometime tomorrow, and I have to go to bed because as you may have already guessed, I am emotionally unprepared for another week to roll around.

I hope you are all well and that your week starts out with a bang and not a whimper like mine. xoxo

never enough time

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Friday flew by in a welter of activity, and I ran from my home office to the car to the middle school to the high school football field and then home again without missing a beat. The kiddo had school Halloween festivities and then a performance with the high school marching band at that night’s game and it went off without a hitch! Brandon and I were in the stands with a family friend and the other marching band & Scout as well as neighborhood parents and we were a proud cheering section.

The rest of the weekend was dedicated to meal planning and shopping, laundry, carving pumpkins and watching Charlie Brown. Brandon made an amazing beef tenderloin on Sunday and I crashed by 9. It’s another busy week ahead and I’m not mentally ready for it.

Life is good but there’s never enough time for all of the things that I want to do.

I hope you are all well and healthy and safe. Happy Monday.