Tag Archives: introvert

the curse of interesting times

I totally blew Show Us Your Books this week but I wanted to share the below. If you’re into graphic novels, I devoured these last month and can highly recommend them. The art is gorgeous and even though I’m not sure I completely followed the plot, I loved them (and actually ordered the collection on Amazon so I can own them myself).

599c562a-f8b9-4368-90f8-59c4c66ca4dd-collage

We hit almost sixty degrees here in Southeast Michigan last week so I got some muddy spring running in (and then bought new running shoes as my old Brooks were then well and truly trashed).

df9a3dd8-8853-4922-8703-c6abfd769dda

I was voter #38 at my precinct on Tuesday and while my first choice candidate wasn’t a winner, I am still very optimistic about the overall turnout and the fact that two important local initiatives passed – one related to a school bond proposal and the other, a millage renewal for the Detroit Institute of Arts.

img_7544

img_7522

So…how is everyone doing?

Personally, I’m swinging between feeling concerned & wanting to be educated about the corona virus and being utterly annoyed at the mass hysteria. Every talking head on our evening news is on the virus train (live at Costco to show every Tom Dick and Karen with their massive carts full of paper towels and gallons of water). Opening Facebook is an exercise in seeing every armchair expert sharing their views or freaking out that we’re on the verge of societal collapse or wondering how they’re going to handle it if their kids don’t have school. I’ve promised myself that I am not posting anything on Facebook related to the virus unless I have something personal or factual to share.

This is my blog, though, so I’m not adhering to those rules – ha.

I feel generally prepared. I am not hoarding, but I stocked my freezer & pantry with some extra food in case of a home quarantine and I’ve already discussed my toilet paper stocks. I’m working from home today, as my company is stress-testing our remote networks to make sure they can support a working-from-home population. Being in the legal department, I’m privy to some behind-the-scenes discussions about how to handle our corporate response to the pandemic and while of course those are not for dissemination unless and until they are needed, suffice it to say that I’m pleased and impressed by our company views on keeping employees safe, healthy, calm, and productive.

75110045-6d7a-49cc-b9a7-87b449756605

sarge is ready to quarantine

That said, what comes next? These are interesting times and all we can do is look at countries who are ahead of us in the curve and try to extrapolate. I think it’s realistic to expect that schools may close for awhile (all public universities in Michigan have suspended in-person instruction and have moved to online for various lengths of time) and we may be asked to home quarantine for some period of time. We will see what happens but by all means, let’s stay calm, be prepared, and support our brothers and sisters.

growth and comfort seldom ride the same horse

Here is something I originally wrote in August of 2017:

“My summer friend knows a lot about day lilies and script-writing and Russian criminal tattoos. All of his belongings can fit in the back of his pickup truck and he has no fear about leaving this place to go to a new place. I wish he would stay, but I also can’t imagine him here in the wintertime, living a stone’s throw from the lights of a racetrack, our favorite ice cream stand shuttered in the snow.”

Brandon has gone from a summer friend to a full-season friend and we’ve been living together for a year in November. He’s just as good in the wintertime as he is in the summertime and he’s happily added to my knowledge of World War II, the Tour de France, the Bible, and Morrissey’s catalogue. He’s as voracious a reader as anyone I’ve ever met, loves finding strange old movies on Prime (see “Kiss Me Monster”), and every weekend we carve out time so I can chase him around local metropark trails on our long runs.  He’s beginning to thaw Miss L, too, and last night, I went upstairs with my “summer beach read” – “Chaos: Charles Manson, the CIA, and the Secret History of the Sixties” (maybe I should just get a nice light paperback for our trip up north next week) and heard them downstairs together for a solid two hours eating ice cream and watching old Kung Fu movies.

81Dwb99hlQL._RI_SX300_

Anyway, there are a lot of updates, including the fact that I got my hair cut, that we’re revamping, repainting, and reorganizing the second floor of my house to give L a better room, updated and designed to accommodate her more grown-up sensibilities, as well as a study for Brandon. I’m a little over halfway done knitting my first sweater, we’re doing the Crim in August and the Savannah Rock & Roll Half Marathon in November, but all of those will have to wait for different posts. I really sat down to write today, after my typically long hiatus, about Facebook.

I know it seems like a very modern way to complain about social media – by turning to another form of social media – but I’ve been blogging far longer than I’ve been MySpaceing (God, remember THAT) or Facebooking. And honestly, I am beginning to turn back towards the blog as a preferable way to express oneself online. I took a “digital detox” from FB for a few weeks and I don’t know if I want to go back. I have grown increasingly ambivalent about posting there, except for political rants and adoptable cat shares, and increasingly weary of scrolling to see passive-aggressive vagueposting about discontent with some friend or relative or other situation that one can’t be bothered to confront head-on, rundowns of what one did during one’s workout or what one ate (note: only PROFESSIONAL FOOD PHOTOGRAPHERS should post photos of FOOD – unless you have a talent and an eye for it, your picture is going to look like something that belongs in the dog’s bowl, no matter how yummy and lovely it was in real life). I am irritated when people post sad bleats about how lonely or bored they are, sometimes with an accompanying blurry photo of a tureen of Flip Flop or some other bottom-shelf wine. It seems odd, though, to think about deleting my profile altogether. It seems hard to imagine existing in today’s world without a social media profile, and the thought of deleting it makes me feel vaguely Ted Kaczynski-ish. As though my acquaintances will think I’ve gone to live as a hermit, off the digital grid, growing body hair and avoiding human contact (and really, only the last part is right – see above about recently getting my hair cut).

So I’m not too sure what this means but felt compelled to muse. It’s Sunday morning here and I’m sitting with my laptop and coffee on the front porch, watching bunnies in the hedgerow across the street and bees in the hydrangeas. Until next time, be well friends. xo

62269802_2596036350454707_4043883894422896640_n

introvert hangover

8.2016_traveling

emmett’s immediate reaction to seeing a travel bag packed and waiting to go out to Finn the Subaru – passive resistance.

There are only about three weeks left of summer and I’m relieved. I’ve enjoyed it – been places, done things, spent time with nice people – but it’s also been exhausting. I feel like I am always packing a bag or unpacking a bag. Jax tells me “you’re always tired” which annoys me and makes me protest, “that’s not true!” even as I know that it most definitely IS true – I just thought I did a better job hiding it. Getting into fresh cool sheets knowing I can get 9 or 10 hours of sleep is one of my favorite things. But this summer tiredness is different. It feels like I’m struggling just to keep up with myself.
I feel like I’m never home. I know I’ve had plenty of nights in pajamas on my couch with Emmett and Netflix. But they’re difficult to remember, and it also seems like I’ve had a lot of nights in some other place. It seemed to start with Japan, then a beach house bed or a hotel room in Frankenmuth hearing children hopped-up on Bavarian style buttered noodles and live accordion in the halls. Or Jax’s house with Izzy the Dog snoring under the covers at my feet.
The summer road construction has been even more hellish than usual, with major thoroughfares closed down to give construction workers time to do repairs before the Michigan Permafrost sets in again. I’ve spent hours in traffic with books on CD (our paralegal gave me a bag of borrowed audio books; it’s fun to listen to things that aren’t really my normal taste. David Baldacci and Jonathon Kellerman. Now I can be a Washington DC spy and an LA detective during my commutes) and Audible, the flat glare of the sun in my eyes, dreaming of my cool quiet dim house.
My hair hasn’t been properly cut except for a spontaneous trim at Great Clips three months ago and it feels dry and crunchy with sun and the straightener.
Although I’m excited about my promotion, I’m in one of my biorhythmic down cycles at work and struggling to maintain energy and motivation.
I’ve burned my vacation days and my bank account is wheezing from a new car, various trips here and there, and Miss L’s activities and school clothes and birthday (upcoming).
When I wake up in the morning, I can barely be bothered to put my contacts in and try to look decent.

I feel guilty for even SEEMING to complain about having great adventures, and going places, creating memories, spending time with amazing people who treat my daughter and I like longlost family. I honestly do feel so humbled and gratified that I have stumbled across such a number of kindred spirits, and I wish I didn’t feel like a fizzling battery sometimes. I read an article, however, that sort of justified my feelings and made me feel a little consoled about my weirdness – it appears I am suffering from an “Introvert Hangover”.

So go figure!

I am finally home for a bit now and looking forward to self care and closing ranks – getting organized, recharging, and taking care of my neglected home and yard (I have heirloom tomatoes!!) Now I can think about is how lovely it will be to open the windows to birdsong (once SE Michigan’s crippling heat wave dissipates) and then go back to bed for a few hours. I’m not sure why I think that’s going to happen in the fall, but everything good happens in the fall, so I am holding that image in my head, of sweater weather and fall colors and naps and good things to eat and the knowledge that the weather is deepening and darkening and pushing me towards a season of hibernation.Which, apparently, I need!

Be well dear readers and friends. xo