Tag Archives: Family

seasonal greetings

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some seasonal highlights

If I make any NY resolutions this year, more regular blogging and manicures will both make the list. I hope you’re enjoying your holiday season – depending on where you are, the dark season of short days, the hygge season, that weird time between Thanksgiving and the December holidays.

Brandon is home now for the remainder of 2023. He has been splitting his time between work weeks in Iowa and weekends back home, and the travel is pretty tiring for him. It’s hard for me to have him away, but I really try to just be supportive and love the time together. I think the biggest challenge for me is getting through a long week and having the weekend and Brandon arrive and being just drained of energy- he wants to connect and immerse himself in our relationship and family and I just want to be alone and still. But we have been together for six and a half years now and we understand what recharges each of us – and how those things are different- and make allowances.

And in the time he’s away, I’ve been trying to maximize time with my daughter. We go to the gym, get Panera for dinner, and watch trashy television in my bed. She is fifteen now and I know that these moments are going to become increasingly hard to come by as she grows up and away. She also suffers from a bit of seasonal depression (and currently some pitched battles with her Honors Chemistry classwork) so I think she needs and appreciates extra mom time.

As for me, I find myself just limping into the homestretch until I can take a week off between Christmas and New Year. The weather has been depressing – mild and grey, with no sign of snow, which rings alarming bells of climate change and global warming. At this time of year, work is very busy with many contract renewals and negotiations so I find myself speaking to / dealing with more people, inside and outside of my company, which drains my introvert battery. There are also more social obligations – holiday gatherings, dinners and lunches, band concerts, last-minute dentist and doctor and vet and orthodontist appointments. And the kid’s indoor soccer games every weekend.

I am knitting on a few different items and working on several cross-stitch projects that I pick up and put down. My Christmas shopping is more or less finished, but I do need to make a final candle to tuck into my bestie’s stocking. We are making our menus for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (which is also Brandon’s birthday). And otherwise just trying to light a lot of candles, go to bed early, and take it one busy day at a time.

fine, better than fine (HoCo 2023)

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It’s been a blur since Friday afternoon. Homecoming weekend for my daughter’s high school meant a Friday parade and tailgate, a rainy football game, and a busy Saturday getting her ready for the school dance.

The weather was fine for the parade and band parent tailgating but as the evening progressed, a band of bruised-looking clouds intensified on the edge of the sky and by the second quarter, they burst. The temperature dropped and sheets of rain billowed in the stadium lights. An umbrella pinwheeled wildly across the field (thankfully not hitting any of the color guard or getting caught in the bass drum). I ensconced myself in a plastic poncho and loaned my blanket to a blue-lipped kid behind me wearing only shorts. The band, weirdly, sounded the best I’ve heard them this season – maybe they just wanted to get the hell off the field.

Saturday morning dawned crisp and blustery. This whole Homecoming thing has changed a lot since I was in high school. The kiddo’s big obsession was her nails. She wanted a full set of acrylics and went online, booked the appointment, and had the confirmation sent to my phone. As I said to friends, I have entered into what could potentially be the golden era of my parenting: when I just have to pay for things and wait in the car.

I wish I could post pics of her and her boyfriend but I keep her face off the blog since this is my story, not hers. But she looked gorgeous in her black lace dress – her boyfriend was dashing in a black jacket. There were pictures at my house with his mom, there were corsages, and her friends arrived – a group of sweet, scary smart and very eclectic and talented kids (who instantly recognized that I was listening to Miles Davis), took pictures in the park under the swirling sun and clouds and leaves and rain, had dinner at the pub and went for slurpees after the dance was over.

I waited up for her and when she got home, she immediately cast off her high sequined shoes and dropped into the couch with Sarge. The evening was fine, better than fine, quite fun. I made her grilled cheese and we talked until she couldn’t keep her eyes open.

Life with a teenager is hard and there are ups and downs. You walk a fine line of being involved and staying clear; living vicariously through them and also trying to teach them how to rely on themselves. They push you away and pull you close with dizzying speed. There are wild emotions because their brains haven’t developed and are flooded with chemicals. And so when we have times like this, when everything is just fine, better than fine, you take a deep breath and say a prayer of gratitude.

dress shopping, post-Covid, and a warm fall.

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I am happy to report that at long last, I feel mostly recovered from my dust-up with Covid. I’m trying to get rid of the lingering fatigue and miasma in my lungs and head but have my smell and taste back, am back to running (slow, snotty, and wheezy), and I am feeling about a thousand percent better. It was no joke, though, and took me down for longer than any illness I’ve had in the last few years, so again, I highly recommend boosting and taking it seriously.

Otherwise, we’ve been chugging along with marching band season, which hasn’t been as all-consuming this year due to fewer home games. Between that and Covid, I’ve only been to one tailgate and I”ll miss the first marching competition next Saturday because we have tickets to ‘Funny Girl’ at the Fisher Theater in Detroit (purchased before the competition schedule was released). The kiddo has a date to Homecoming in early October (!!) so we had to go dress shopping. The last one she tried on was the winner and is quite an elegant little number, black lace over a nude silk sheath, with little off-the-shoulder straps. She’s going to look like a million bucks, very Old Hollywood, but as a mom it is still gobsmacking to see how SMALL all the dresses are. I told a friend on Facebook that I think they could make 3 of today’s dresses out of 1 of ours from the 1980’s / early 90’s.

We booked our Spring Break – yes, it seems early but after forcing the kid to go to Colonial Williamsburg last year, I’d promised her a trip somewhere warm for next spring. We are going to the Bahamas! For 5 nights and 4 days which already stresses me out a little bit (thinking about being away from home that long) but which I’m sure will be an amazing trip.

The weather in Michigan has been very warm and summery, sunny days with highs in the upper 70’s and cool nights, lather rinse repeat. It shows no signs of cooling off anytime in the next 10 days which is nice, but I really am craving some crisp weather, frost on the pumpkins, and some storms to usher in the cozy season. There’s nothing worse than traipsing around a cider mill or pumpkin patch when it’s 80 degrees and you are sweating and there are bees in your cider.

dispatch from a disjointed july – tour de france, camp, and cologuard

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July is strange – the whole month feels like a weird suspension of normal routine, with the 4th holiday, many people in my office taking vacations, the kid at camp, and the Tour de France. This week felt particularly disjointed – bouts of torrential rain and oppressive humidity, two very productive and busy office days, and many hours spent with the Tour.

The Tour has been good this year except for my overwhelming disappointment that Mark Cavendish – an oldster at the ripe age of 38 – crashed out and broke his collarbone in what he’d declared was his last TDF before retirement. He was trying to break the record of the most stage wins (he’s currently tied at 34 with Eddie Merckx). It was a good lesson not to get too attached to any one rider or team because it’s a fairly brutal sport and you can love someone and they can get knocked out in a millisecond and then you still have endless stages ahead of you to feel disappointed. In addition to the 4-5 hours a day viewing the stages, we also spend another 1-2 hours listening to Lance Armstrong’s podcast The Move to analyze each stage. Yes, I know that Lance is a douche but since it’s very difficult to find any mainstream news coverage of the Tour, my July is filled with his mellifluous boasting and I’ve come to enjoy it heartily.

In other news this week – solid office days (office days have become a vital part of my week and although I enjoy my work from home days, I’m finding that I need the anchoring of a couple in-person days, too), fresh salads from the new office lunch delivery service, a couple of exceptionally humid morning / lunchtime runs on work from home days, and doing my first Cologuard. This may be TMI but you know, health matters. It feels inappropriate to poop in a jar and have to take the conspicuous box to the UPS store (they could at least give you an anonymous box) to mail it somewhere – but that’s life these days. And dear God, those Cologuard people will run you to the ends of the freaking earth to get that jar back. I think I got at least twenty calls, emails, and texts from that happy little toilet so I was relieved to be able to dump it on the UPS counter and be done with the damn thing.

The kid has been at camp with no phone. She’s written a few letters, and I purchase email credits so I can send her an email every day that she’s gone. In one of her letters, she described writing snail mail letters to me like ‘screaming into a void and not getting any answer back’ and that’s how I feel about the daily emails I send her, too. So imagine my surprise when she convinced her unit director to let her call me on Thursday afternoon because she was feeling a smidge homesick and just wanted to hear my voice. My kiddo has always been brave, extroverted, social, and the type who from very early on didn’t want to hold my hand when I walked her into school, so, in the summer she turns 15, for her to want to write me letters from camp and call me just to hear my voice – well, that is quite gratifying for me.

I’m reading ‘A Deadly Education’ by Naomi Novik, which is sort of a violent and edgy Hogwarts school tale mixed with a bit of ‘Hunger Games’ and I’m really liking it so far. It’s part of a trilogy and I picked it up from the library after seeing the most recent one in a bookstore in Cincinnati. I am hoping the weekend will be full of some front porch reading and wine drinking, although Sunday will be a completely lost day as I travel 6+ hours round trip to fetch the kid from camp. It’s worth it – I can’t wait to hug her – and July rolls on.

drinking from a fire hose

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My brother recently said that his week felt like drinking from a fire hose and I thought it was such a perfect description of my 2023 so far. As always, there are things that I can’t / won’t blog about but let me just say that teenagers are no joke, y’all. There are times when I feel like a stranger has taken up residence in my kiddo’s appallingly messy bedroom and is stomping around in her new varsity jacket. I know we all go through this terrifying developmental stage and my own parents advised me on more than one occasion that I was a massive storm cloud during my teen years but sometimes you have to live with it to really get it. And kids these days have very different concerns and stressors than we did with the omnipresent influence of technology and social media. Sooo… deep breath, both hands on the wheel.

Likes this week: A mid-week snow storm which didn’t disrupt my life too badly, just laid down a nice fluffy blanket of white that’s been largely absent so far this winter. Looking up at almost 6pm the other day and seeing that it was still light outside (we’re starting to move out of the dark season now). Keeping up with my 2023 reading challenge and finding a new cozy series (the Dr. Nell Ward mysteries by Sarah Yarwood-Lovett) to keep me occupied. Keeping up with my vitamin D and happily finding the missing 3 cards from the tarot deck that my parents gave me for Christmas when I turned 14.

Dislikes this week: See first paragraph above.

This weekend is a breakfast with my bestie and a big football day on Sunday for Brandon, via his team the Bengals. TGIF!

there’s a world outside of yonkers…

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The first full week of 2023 was one of those strange ones that feel almost like a failure to launch. Although I was back to working in my home office after Monday, Brandon had some light workdays and the kiddo is still off from school. So there was some banging around in the kitchen as they made lunches and snacks and I think there may have been some shared episodes of “Rick and Morty” between the two of them. Otherwise the kiddo is at the age where she can sleep til 11:30 and keep herself occupied – smoothies with friends, working out, art projects and movie rentals on Prime. She’s also been prepping her audition for spring theater’s “Hello Dolly” production so we are all singing “BARNABYYYY” a lot lately.

We also met up with some of her friends and their moms on Wednesday night for pizza and – indoor skydiving (?!) I did not skydive (although one of the mom tribe did and said it was fun but short) instead choosing to knit on my Clinton Hill Cashmere Bandit Cowl and kibbitz with other moms.

iFly Detroit

It was pretty much chaos at work for reasons that I of course can’t share here.

I started a new book – the third in Tamsyn Muir’s Locked Tomb series, which I forgot to mention as one of my favorites of 2022. I’m not sure I understand any of it but it’s phenomenal – the tagline on the first of the series (which was also my favorite) promises “lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space! Decadent nobles vie to serve the deathless emperor! Skeletons!” There’s way more to it but yeah, it’s epic.

Likes this week: black leggings, Wishful enzyme scrub, Essie gel “Behind the Glass” on my nails, Damar Hamlin, Chapstick Total Hydration tinted lip oil, using my Verilux Happy Light at my desk during these dark days, listening to A Little Bit Culty podcast with a player from the Nexivm insanity, taking all my vitamins every day this week and being riveted to the chaos over the Speaker.

Dislikes: rehabbing a pulled muscle in my back and not running all week, Harry and Meghan, menopausal issues on high all week, post-holiday letdown, this time of year until essentially the end of March, people who don’t do what they say they’re going to do / being blindsided by that, George Santos, and bring riveted to the chaos over the Speaker.

This weekend is Elvis’s birthday which we may celebrate by going to see an Elvis movie at the local cinema (if I can stay awake). It’s also the big audition – so tonight it’s thawed leftovers from the Annual Freezer Cleanout, a fire in the woodstove, and a “Hello Dolly” rental for additional inspiration and research. TGIF!

a busy october

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This is the time of year I love best. We are still getting warm, honey-dripped sunshine days here in Michigan, but also chilly nights, crunching leaves, changing skies and the smell of woodsmoke.

LIfe continues apace. The kiddo got glammed up for her Homecoming dance a few weeks ago and seemed to enjoy herself, although she did comment that it was really just like a much more intensive middle school dance.

Marching band will take up an inordinate amount of time through October and it’s our main social activity, both the kiddo’s and mine. I had no idea what a commitment it would be as a ‘band mom’ but for as tiring as it can be, I love volunteering my time and hanging out with the other band parents. There are full weeks of rehearsals and then on weekends, tailgates and football games, and band competitions. I help out with uniforms before and after every performance and try not to embarrass the kiddo too much by my presence. I’m so happy that she consents to me participating in her activities through volunteering and I love being involved. I’ve met many great people and we’ve developed a small village of supportive, engaged parents that I just don’t know what I’d do without. I fully confess to being a full-on band geek so I can think of many worse ways to spend my time on weekends than watching a great marching band. This past weekend we were at Chippewa Valley for a competition and despite the chill and the wind, it was an exciting and fun event for everyone.

Unfortunately, the cooler weather and busy schedules have also meant random colds and illnesses and a lot of Covid tests (fortunately all negative so far).

On top of it all, I signed up for a weekly crochet class through the month of October and so for two hours every week, I’ll be working away at swatches and then moving on to a granny square. I have to remind myself that I deserve these times away from work and my family because we’ve been so busy that it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking I am existing the best only when I’m doing something productive for someone else, and I feel guilty about having something just for myself.

I have so many knitting projects in the queue that I don’t even know where to start – I think I’ll do a full rundown of wips and planned projects very soon because if I don’t start making lists, I’ll forget what I have squirreled away in various bags and baskets.

So that’s the update from my corner of the world. I hope wherever you are, you are doing well and are safe, healthy, and doing things that make you happy either just for yourself or for / with people you love. xo

last week of september 2022

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The weather has turned damp and blustery, and the brightest things in the yard are the fallen leaves and the bright mums in pots, all orange and yellow. There are five weeks left of fall marching band season, and while we’re really enjoying the Friday night tailgates and games, it’s definitely a major time commitment. Three afternoon / evening rehearsals a week, plus games, and something almost every Saturday – band competitions, fundraisers, pictures, etc. The kiddo gets rides with friends, and the mom friends carpool, but there are always pickups and dropoffs to coordinate. And we bring food for every tailgate, and I’ve been volunteering before and after games to help the kids with uniforms. All in all, it’s no wonder they don’t want band kids to do a competing fall sport or activity.

This weekend is the big Homecoming parade, game, and dance, and a couple of weeks ago the kiddo and I went shopping for her dress and shoes. Homecoming has changed a lot since my high school days – when people mostly went with dates. My Homecoming dress (circa 1989) was a black Limited shirtwaist that went to my ankles and up to my neck and fastened with a gold brooch. Kiddo said I looked like I was going to a funeral and Brandon said I looked like I was wearing a shower curtain…Suffice it to say, dresses have changed – I think there was more fabric in the sleeves of my dress than in the entire rack of dresses we saw at the department store. The Homecoming dresses now are more like very abbreviated prom dresses from my youth – all silk and satin, strapless and spangled. I think they look like skating costumes. And kids just go – with friends, in groups, etc. The kiddo picked out a jade green slipdress, and gave me major side-eye when I asked about nylons / stockings – apparently that is NOT DONE anymore (I wore black nylons with my shirtdress. Follow me for more fashion tips). She looks fantastic, even though I definitely wish there was more to it – hey, how about a vintage shirtwaist? – but she looks suddenly glam, tall and leggy in heels.

baby sara & bonus footage of our bassett hound cate

I really intended to blog more in September, but in addition to being a band mom, I’ve been busy at work with a major negotiation and an audit, and last week had to take some time off to attend my best friend’s mother’s funeral in my hometown. Time is marching on rapidly this autumn, and the changes around me seem particularly evident, in my own life and in the people and family around me. Growth, loss, change, and fall makes even the small actions of our human lives seem particularly relevant and poignant.

I hope you are all having a good month and looking forward to October. This is my favorite time of year and I can’t wait to hang up my Halloween decorations, light the candles, and make a big pot of soup. xo

soggy tissues and sneezing on the cat

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Well friends, the last two weeks of April definitely challenged me. It was the most important time of year for my work goals & performance indicators, and it was (and continues to be) intense for the kiddo. Her schedule is full of daily track practice, weekly track meets, and theater rehearsals. All of which requires planning for transit, the appropriate nutrition, and very different sets of attire. This in addition to the usual schedule of work, remote and office days, school, regular appointments and meal planning. How do people have more than one active child and stay on top of it all?

After several hours last week at a particularly windy and frigid track meet – ankle deep in mud – I succumbed to the head cold that had been lingering in the wings waiting for a stage cue. The meet itself was well worth the discomfort- the kiddo’s stepmom and I were the only family members in attendance due to schedule conflicts. K and I get along well and I really enjoy her company and commitment to the kiddo. We watched the kid compete in shotput (where she placed first) and the 200-meter (where she took 4 seconds off her practice time). A successful outcome considering it was her first ever track meet!

And I always love that my goth kid is instantly recognizable in a sea of lookalike kids in hoodies and sweats. My kid will be the one warming up between events in a John Bender flannel, skeleton pajamas and a skull blanket.

My subsequent illness turned into a painful sinus infection and really kiboshed the weekend plans. I ran the kid to theater rehearsal and then went straight to Urgent Care. My Urgent Care is the best – I don’t even think they really care if I’m sick. I tell them “I have xx”, they take my blood pressure and look in my throat, prescribe horse pill antibiotics to my pharmacy of choice and I am merrily on my way. I spent the rest of the weekend in bed with Pot Roast. She is a constant nursemaid despite generally preferring Brandon and despising the explosive sneezing that has accompanied my illness. Maybe she just knew that in my weakened state, I could be easily dispatched with a soft paw on my jugular.

Other than sleeping, I plodded along with “Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone”, the most recent Diana Gabaldon Outlander contribution. 39% in and my quick review: so far it’s not as interesting as her earlier efforts. (Spoiler: someone HAS already been eaten by a bear and that was kind of a high point. And there are a lot of the usual interjections of “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ” from sassy Claire and sexy Jamie grinding out “Och Sassenach ye drive me mad” which make it a fine book for a sick day.)

I don’t have a finished object to show (I’m close!) so I’ll update you on my crafting with progress on my current cross-stitch.

Hope everyone is well and happy. I’m girding my loins for another intense week and hopefully less sneezing.

friday files – in like a lion

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I don’t know what was going on in the stars, but the first half of this week almost crushed me. I spent Monday in tears and on the phone with tech support trying to resolve issues with a new work laptop. I missed my dad horribly. Someone stole the head joint of the kiddo’s flute out of a classroom. Said kiddo had her own issues with middle school stress. Brandon and I had a fight (about NAZIS of all things). The situation in the Ukraine is unbearable, and the Republicans are typical assholes (DeSantis, Boebert, Abbott and Greene, I’m looking at you).

This was after a very calm last-week where I took some time off and the three of us went to Ann Arbor to eat sushi and nose around bookstores. I also made another pine needle basket. It was idyllic.

But in typical fashion, things balance out and swing back the other way. We got a rental flute while the new head piece is on order. Brandon and I are strong, the kiddo is resilient to middle school angst, and tech support did its job (mostly). External events and people can still be awful but focusing on making my own small home and family as peaceful and supportive and nurturing as possible is the response.

Regardless I am looking forward to a weekend.

I’m in the office for a few hours today, and then kiddo and I are having a bonding night together with takeout and a movie. Theater rehearsal tomorrow and a Girl Scout cookie booth on Sunday and the usual housework and errands in between. Regardless, it sounds pretty damn good to me.

Be well and don’t let the news of the world grind you down….at least not irretrievably.