Tag Archives: covid-19

just now

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Pot Roast | sunshine | yawn.

Last weekend it was almost 80 degrees F. here in Michigan and we were living the dream – we went running in the sunshine, did yard work, sat in the green oasis of our patio, put up the hummingbird feeder and exclaimed over our first Ruby-throated hummingbird visitor – imagine that GIF of Leonardo di Caprio in “Great Gatsby” holding up a brimming champagne glass with a look of supercilious contentment and that was me. Now flash to this week, temps unseasonably cold, skies grey, freeze warnings, snow in the forecast for the weekend, and I’ve crashed, hard.

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Michigan is still on lockdown and people here have lost their minds about it. In the past couple of weeks, we’ve been on the nightly news for MAGA rednecks protesting the stay home order toting AR-15s inside our Capitol Building, a security guard murdered for doing his job by telling a customer that she had to wear a face mask, and another essential worker at a store assaulted by a gross old man who wiped his nose on her (I don’t usually read comments on news stories because it makes me fear for the future of the human race, but I did in this instance; best comments, hands down: “I woulda slapped those Stevie Wonder glasses clean off his face”).  I don’t know what is wrong with people here but I cannot fucking wrap my head around it. The vitriolic comments about our governor stem, I believe, almost entirely from the fact that she is a woman, and if it was a male governor telling the state to stay home under similar conditions (Michigan is #7 in the national rankings of Covid-19 infections) – they would not be facing this kind of backlash. I blame Trump for this tone of absolute disrespect and contempt for the greater good – we have a president who is gleeful about sowing partisan divisions and squirting kerosene on simmering resentments with tweets like “LIBERATE MICHIGAN” and ravaging previous presidents (even those in his own party) for coming forward with words of unity and hope. And PEOPLE STILL SUPPORT HIM.

It actually kinda makes me want to stay home forever, honestly.

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I understand that I come from a place of privilege, and while I will never support acts like the ones I detail above, or putting anyone else’s safety at risk for any reason, I have enormous sympathy for people who have lost loved ones or are living in economic uncertainty.  I am fortunate that I can live frugally, support myself and my family, and can weather this storm, plus have the good health of my family and friends.

I am among the lucky ones who can do my job from my dining room table with my kid sitting across from me doing her work. I hate not being able to get a haircut, as I am well into the bushy-haired, mushroom-head phase of quarantine, and I am jonesing for a nice long Target walk with a Starbucks in hand, but I know these things will come in time. I realized yesterday while Miss L and I were out for our lunchtime walk that this is the longest I’ve been home with her since my maternity leave and what a true gift that is. And just for now, I will take it, where I am right now: the moody ups and downs, the bushy hair, the grey skies, the chaos and divisions, Skype calls and Google Classroom meetings, the civil disagreements, the face masks, wearing sweatpants 24/7, watching spring unfold in fits and starts, and be glad.

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dark and bright

I had to get off Facebook last week because I am so angry at some of my fellow Michiganders who felt that they needed to exercise their pique. While we are in the middle of a pandemic, surrounded by families who have loved ones in the hospital, who have passed away, or are working on the front lines, many decided to storm Lansing to protest “government overreach” and what they consider to be overly restrictive stay at home orders. They blocked a driveway at a level-1 trauma center and despite doctors begging them to move their cars to allow ambulances access, they laughed and maintained they were “exercising their rights”. What a selfish, ignorant, uneducated and disrespectful slap in the face to so many working so hard to keep us safe. I’m disgusted and sad. I fully understand people who have lost their jobs or businesses, who are worried and upset about loss of income and loss of security. But clogging streets, waving Confederate flags and wearing MAGA hats instead of masks, and keeping essential workers and healthcare vehicles from accomplishing their tasks is not the way to safely or constructively express this.

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Anyway. Deep breath and move on. I can only control myself, my own priorities and my own actions, not those of others.

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And I can note and take comfort in the fact that spring is here and there is brightness everywhere – in flowers, sky, a red-haired girl, and in the reflection of sun on water.

Be well and take care of yourself and, if you can, others.

good friday

You know, Good Friday.

I’m not religious but am super willing to take advantage of this holiday. Everything is going fine, really, here in suburban Elysia’s quarantine fields, but I am feeling the results of having to keep plates spinning. It’s funny but in quarantine I am less alone than I am on a regular basis, I think – when Miss L is with me, we are set up at the same table, doing our online tasks together, and although Brandon is still working, his days start early and end early so he’s home mid-afternoon. I’m responding to emails, working on documents, doing teleconferences and web meetings, planning our annual Board meetings, helping Miss L stay on track with her weekly schedule of classwork, stopping to make lunch and snacks and then dinner (everyone is always hungry) and trying to meal plan for upcoming days and weeks and plan either food deliveries or trips to the store for essentials. I am checking in regularly with my neighbor behind, who is a lovely older woman with cats and a preexisting respiratory condition, and so far she’s only let me get milk for her, but she calls me sometimes when she needs to talk and I am always keeping an eye on the lights in her house and making sure she’s okay.

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So it does get to be a lot for an introvert like me and there are times when I just need some alone time, and today I was able to do that. I restarted the Pink Memories sweater, watched a few episodes of Poldark (Brandon and Miss L tease me for my crush on Poldark “Ooohhhh Poooolddarkkk”) and took a long nap with Emmett aka Unpaid Intern. Of all three of our cats, Emmett is the most unabashedly cuddly and affectionate and needy, and the most willing to disappear for a good long nap with me.

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In other quarantine news, Michigan extended its Stay Home Stay Safe order until April 30, which is no surprise and for which I am glad.  Our office will be closed at least through then and probably into May, and after that I’ll have to figure out what to do with schools closed and summer camp cancellations.

I did make a trip into our office this week – we are considered an “essential business” so we can access our building, although if we can work from home, we are required to do so – I needed to drop off some documents for signature and pick up some files. I had to be screened, have my temperature taken, and the place was like a ghost town. It made me realize how quickly everything has changed for everyone. I can be a bit dissociated – just head down, focusing on the task – but I never, ever, ever imagined that we would live in a world where masks and gloves are a common sight, everywhere, the roads empty, parking lots deserted.

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I’ve scouted out fabric masks and Miss L’s dad and crafty stepmom made some and gifted them to me & Brandon for our trips to the store. I have a few more coming, as well, from a coworker who only asked for more fabric in return, so she could continue to make more. I slip coffee filters into them and wash after every wear. So we have a bit of a stockpile. My freezer is well stocked and our grocery stores, while not as full of the plethora of choices as they have been in the past, are stocked with everything I could need (except toilet paper, but I got on that train weeks ago and am in good shape).  All of these are blessings. I feel like I’m tempting fate if I don’t add, always, gratitude – being busy and stressed means that my job continues and my paycheck keeps coming. Miss L working on her computer means that she’s continuing to get an education and having to meal plan and cook means that we have ample access to food. No one we know is sick, and every prayer to everything I hold true in the universe, I’m sending up that it stays that way.

There are some things that I’m indulging in to make these days easier – little gifts every day. I love this inexpensive bath salt, which I found during a quarantine trip to Wal-Mart (a place I rarely venture into). I am a huge fan of these candles from Target. I burned through the library stockpile I laid in before quarantine, so have a lot of Kindle finds that I’ve started on, with some shipments from Cottage Book Shop (my favorite independent bookstore that I will support as much as I can) to look forward to, as well. I’ll run these down in our next Show Us Your Books and warning, it will be a whomper.

I hope you are all well and safe and healthy. xo

 

currently

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Sorry folks but all I have to share is cat pics and memes this week – bear with me as the content is a bit light due to quarantine.

Along with the rest of the world, I’m not entirely sure what day it is (or month). I’ve been working from home and observing the guidelines of social isolation / distancing for about 3 weeks now (I think?). Work is crazy but more interesting than usual, I have to say – being in a Legal Department during a pandemic has meant different things every day and also trying to organize our annual board meeting with this going on has been extra trying. But I’m glad to still be working, getting paid, and be home while I’m doing it – it also gives a sense of structure and stability to my days that I personally need for my mental health.

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Michigan is burning. Detroit is a hotspot with 3,550 cases of the 12, 744 statewide and my county has about 2,500. I feel so grateful that my parent’s county is so far being spared, but that will change once the summer people from downstate begin flocking north. Governor Whitmer (also known as “that woman from Michigan” per “that man in the White House” and of course now they’re selling t-shirts with that slogan – I think she wore one under her blazer for a recent spot on the Daily Show) issued an order this week that closed schools for the remainder of the school year. So Miss L is switching over to an entirely online curriculum. She’s done a great job with this. We set up our home office / classroom at our dining room table, draw up her weekly schedule in bullet-journal form, decorated with stickers, washi tape and boxes to color in as she finishes tasks, and she usually does about 3-4 hours of work a day. Don’t ask me what we’re going to do once my office reopens (IF it reopens anytime soon) – I’ll figure that out when I get there.

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I finally frogged my Pink Memories sweater and will be restarting it from scratch. This is now the third attempt on my first sweater – I’m nothing if not tenacious. But I still can’t bring myself to knit anything in the evenings except repetitive garter stitch. It’s all I seem to have bandwidth for.

Anyway, I hope you are all well and safe, staying home and keeping your loved ones emotionally close if not physically so.

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week two of the new normal

Alrite.

How’s it going.

(To quote Karl Pilkington, for any of my readers who are fans!)

Our second week of isolation is going well. I’m back into a good groove with my home office and Miss L has set up with me to do her online classwork. (Huge props to our school district for a quick move to online learning- they’re doing super cool things with Google Classroom assignments and keeping kids connected via Hangouts and video conferencing a couple times a week!) She has also been keeping us well supplied with baked goods from a cookbook for kids that my folks got her for Christmas- she’s made brownies from scratch and chocolate chip cookies this week.

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Emmett has been our faithful home office companion and we call him out unpaid intern for as much time as he spends hanging out with us at our work table.

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Although our governor has issued an official stay-home order, Brandon was deemed an essential employee by the company he is doing work for, so has to go into his workplace every day. He’s been a trooper about it but I know it causes him a lot of personal and ethical conflict and concern. We’re trying to take extra good care of him.

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The weather has been nice (for Michigan) the last couple of days, with mild temperatures and sun. Brandon got Miss L’s bike out yesterday and we went for a walk while she rode. It was amazing how many people were out – hanging out in their driveways, on porches, doing some early yardwork, walking their dogs. Everyone maintained wide berth from each other but it was very reassuring to have some contact, waving and calling hello, sharing gratitude about the sunshine.

I only want to knit in simple, mindless, meditational garter stitch so I’ve pulled out the log cabin blanket I started a couple of years ago.

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I hope you are all well and experiencing similar moments of goodwill and gratitude wherever you are, amidst all the worry and strain. xo

working from home

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I’ve been putting off this post all week, making the excuse that I’m getting used to “the new normal”, being at home, trying to set up a new routine, be productive, be upbeat, be calm, be responsive. The truth is I just don’t know what I have to offer at this point that’s any different than what all of us are experiencing. We’re all scared, mad, anxious, confused, worried, and I’m no different. I’m scared of the empty shelves at the grocery store and worried about my family and my friends and myself. I’m worried who will take care of my daughter and my pets if I get sick. I’m worried about my company’s ability to weather this. I worry about my girl, her physical and mental health during this scary time, and my parents and Brandon who is still out there every day doing his normal job.

I’m mad that some days it feels like I’m carrying that burden all by myself.

I don’t have a “but then I realize…” triumphant recovery paragraph to come after that.

The only thing I really know is that I am not alone. I hear the same cracking tone in my colleagues voices over our teleconferences, admitting that they can’t watch the news, admitting that their kids are freaking out with cabin fever, and they’re not the best at homeschooling and trying to get the reports out on time.

All I can do is keep checking in on the people I love and who love me, try to be prepared but not panicked, be willing to share and offer support and whatever supplies I might have to spare. Keep showing up to my little home office with my unpaid feline interns. And be full of gratitude for my extreme privilege, which so far has kept these things as worrisome spectors and not tragic realities.

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I do believe that people have the ability to be their best in a crisis and there’s no one in history I admire more than the Londoners during the Blitz huddling underground at night during bombing raids and then getting up to carry on with their days and their families and their jobs. If this is my London Blitz then I want to be like I imagine they were.

Anyway, that’s all I have for now. Next time I will come back with a stiff upper lip and some knitting, some running, and another report. Be well and take care of yourselves and others and keep in touch. xo