October has felt like a summer month with very little autumn yet. There is a general dusty draining of color – so far, not a lot of vibrancy. The temperatures are still well above normal.
Head down in the busy season of calendar appointments and activities, planning and budgeting and the day to day work that builds a life, it’s easy to miss these things. So I am trying to remember to notice.
Sometimes I look out my bedroom window and notice the maple turning orange. And on my way out to my car after work, past the retaining pond, the crows watch me from their ragged line in the reeds. They talk amongst themselves and in their voices I hear the slate grey sky and the hard frost and the black bare branches.
“Odd as it may seem, I am my remembering self, and the experiencing self, who does my living, is like a stranger to me.” – Daniel Kahneman
It’s been quite awhile since I’ve done a pin post so allow me to share what’s been catching my eye here in southeast Michigan in these final days of September.
It’s been hot and dry here for the past few weeks and I’m more than ready for this kind of weather. Although maybe not too quickly, because the kiddo’s senior pictures are scheduled for mid-to-late October and she and I are both on pins and needles hoping that the weather holds. We want cool temps, peak color, with no rainstorms to strip all the leaves. After that it can do what it will.
My knitting projects are even more scattered than usual. I haven’t finished anything in ages and while I’d like to keep going on something – ANYTHING – to have a finished object, I have to start two new projects. It’s time for me to start my annual contribution to the Mittens for Detroit charity. But even though I pinned the two ideas above (I thought the duck mittens would be really cute for children and I obviously love the stripy pair (and they’d be warm too), I won’t have time to do anything other than a basic pair. I also have to cast on for a baby hat for a work friend, whose wife is expecting and due around the holidays. I’ve waited too long here and am in a lot of knitting hot water.
I really like this outfit although I’d wear it with my Sambas. And I never understand how women can tuck sweaters in – even a half tuck. And it’s been too hot. But everything else I like.
I don’t know if my wild femininehas revealed itself, but I like the concept of putting the ‘people pleasing maiden’ to rest.
One of the major projects that Brandon and I have to tackle in my 1962 Colonial is a kitchen remodel, but thinking about what that will entail (especially with a teenager and three cats and working from home 2 days a week) usually makes me think “hey, this too-small, outdated, not-ideal kitchen is JUST FINE!” But the day is coming and when it does, I am GOING to have a wide windowsill for plants. (Not those little angel figurines, though.) I love plants and I have one cat (Emmett I am looking at you) who is a plant murderer and will chew anything that is lower than six feet off the ground or that he is able to climb to. So my little collection of Thanksgiving cacti, Pothos, Hoya, snake plants and Pileapeperomioides are scrunched up on the mantel and high up on shelves and in less than ideal spots for their growth and display. Someday I will have a nice wide kitchen windowsill and I will have a nice little collection of plants there to bask in the sunshine.
So that’s about it for this morning. I have to get out for a quick run and then I’m off to help the kiddo’s marching band at one of their competitions this afternoon (pray for them; it will be 80 today and blazing sun, in full uniforms. These kids are absolute troopers).
The clocks have been turned back and the days are growing short and dark. I have a lot of appreciation for this quiet, internal season and it doesn’t bother me – I find late winter to early spring much more difficult, and actually dislike the very long days of summer when it doesn’t get dark until 9 or 10 – but this time of year is hard for a lot of people including my kiddo. There’s an inevitable drop in mood and energy once the gloom of deep fall descends and warmer weather activities wind down. I think it’s important to lean into it and find the enjoyment as much as possible.
We stock up on firewood and have frequent small fires even if it’s not super cold outside. We have multiple fuzzy blankets and lots of candles, both traditional and battery-operated pillars on a timer. I deeply enjoy the feeling of flickering warm light and indoor cozy as the dark presses against the windowpane.
I use a “happy lamp” at my work from home desk and encourage the kiddo to use hers, too. Last year she didn’t use it as much as I would have liked so this year I’ll continue to gently coax her.
We stay on top of our vitamin supplements and try to eat healthy, seasonal foods. I love root vegetables and all kinds of squash. I drink much more hot tea and stock up on several favorites. (Special mentions: Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon Sunset, Republic of Tea Caramel Apple, Sleepytime, Constant Comment, Yogi Tea Positive Energy Sweet Tangerine, Tazo Glazed Lemon Loaf, Tea Haus Roasted Almond fruit tea, and lots of green tea bags for the afternoon lull.)
We try to clean and organize our spaces before winter arrives so we can have the mental calm of being organized and peacefully orderly in addition to cozy. (This means the kiddo and I have to do a big decluttering of her bedroom.)
Get outside. This is probably the most important one for me. No bad weather, only bad clothes. Going outside even when the weather is blustery or damp – this is medicine. I’ve invested in some great Smartwool outdoor accessories- headband and neck gaiter – and the proper footwear and some cozy mittens I knitted. Sometimes having a nice selection of outerwear can really help motivate me to get outside. I tell myself that I’m just going around the block and usually once I’m out I want to go farther. I love the look of early winter and love the feeling of being a singular small person in a vast landscape of grey sky. I love the dim, flat quality of the light and the smell of leaves and cold wind. I love the wheeling birds and the rain that strips the foliage from the branches. And I love coming home to a warm bright home when I am done.
Get activity. This can go hand in hand with number 5 and running and trail running are my favorite ways to accomplish this, but I’ve also started incorporating more treadmill walks – even short ones – and short kettlebell workouts. I’ve never liked strength training but the kettlebell is fun and I’ve stuck with it for longer than I expected, moving up to a 20-lb for my deadlifts and swings.
I invest way more time into the hobbies I am passionate about. I pick my knitting projects and have several going at once and have also started cross-stitching in recent years. I have lots of books on my library Kindle hold and make regular trips to my brick and mortar library too. I also make candles as Christmas gifts and for our own personal use.
We have traditions to look forward to. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I look forward to running our Turkey Trot that morning. On Black Friday we ice skate at Campus Martius or go to the massive used bookstore in downtown Detroit, John King, followed by greasy fries and cold beverages at Checker Bar. We do Advent calendars during December and have a Christmas Carol movie marathon.
Go on an adventure. I find this time of year to be very well suited for donning a woolen cloak and hood, strapping a silver dagger to my belt, packing a saucepan and bedroll and setting off on a sturdy, shaggy pony over moors, hills, and shire to battle the forces of evil or seek a fine reward.
I am not a toxic positivity person so I also try to realize that it’s okay to have some down days, feel sad, depressed and / or uncomfortable. This is part of being human and the dark and light go hand in hand. I just also try to remind myself (and my kiddo) that we have tools in our toolbox to take care of ourselves and usher ourselves and each other through those times and hopefully make them a little better.
I hope wherever you are, you are looking forward to a safe and peaceful November, in spite of external factors like weather (and the US election if you are in the US). Be well and enjoy this season of hygge.
As the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness descends on southeast Michigan, I am returning to an old love – trail running.
As a person with generalized anxiety, as I move through the golden woods, I find myself reflecting that my experience with trail running has a lot of parallels to my daily experience living life.
I have to go about it with a measure of control. If I approach it with too much abandon, there’s a good chance I’ll end up hurt.
I am constantly scanning several feet in front of me, looking for hidden dangers and obstacles.
I am usually worried that if I take my eyes off the terrain, or get tired or lazy, that I’m going to take a nasty spill.
I meet all kinds of different souls on the trail. Some are friendly and want to exchange a moment. Some are wary, and some are baleful. It doesn’t matter. As long as they aren’t an escaped homicidal axe murderer, it’s all good.
If I’m in the right frame of mind, I can get into a meditative flow state where nothing really matters except what is right in front of me, my feet on the trail, my breath in my ears, and the world moving past me.
This state never lasts as long as I would like it to.
Every now and then I see a glimpse of amazing pure beauty, and it takes my breath away.
I’ve learned that my pace doesn’t matter. I take as much time as I need to get through it. It’s not about the end result, it’s about the journey.
I bought a cinnamon broom for the den and it smells sooo autumnal.
It has been a very hot and dry month in Michigan yet this evening we are sitting here with the windows open listening to a gentle cool rain.
I just finished a fantastic creepy book – one of the best books I’ve read this year, I think – highly recommend “Mexican Gothic” by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. It was EXCELLENT. So atmospheric with a heroine you immediately are staunchly behind and the most chilling and fascinating setting. I’ve just picked up another by her (“Gods of Jade and Shadow”).
We spent all day yesterday at the first marching band competition of the year. Unfortunately it was 85 degrees with a blazing sun on a high school football field with zero shadow (and zero parking which meant street parking blocks away). Wool uniforms are still de rigueur and if we parents in the stands were red faced and running with sweat then the kids were truly suffering. But I love a good marching band and so I was deeply satisfied and even more so when our kids won second place in Class A competition, best percussion, best color guard, and best in music!
Next week is Homecoming. Insert happy face emoji surrounded by hearts.
I need a few good things today because I have a case of the Sunday Scaries. My beloved boss has moved up and out of Widget Central and I am left with a mass of complex tasks, exponentially increasing workload, and instability. I keep telling myself it isn’t my first time at this rodeo but – let me bury my nose in a gothic horror novel and a delicious cinnamon broom for a bit longer, okay?
It’s been a blur since Friday afternoon. Homecoming weekend for my daughter’s high school meant a Friday parade and tailgate, a rainy football game, and a busy Saturday getting her ready for the school dance.
The weather was fine for the parade and band parent tailgating but as the evening progressed, a band of bruised-looking clouds intensified on the edge of the sky and by the second quarter, they burst. The temperature dropped and sheets of rain billowed in the stadium lights. An umbrella pinwheeled wildly across the field (thankfully not hitting any of the color guard or getting caught in the bass drum). I ensconced myself in a plastic poncho and loaned my blanket to a blue-lipped kid behind me wearing only shorts. The band, weirdly, sounded the best I’ve heard them this season – maybe they just wanted to get the hell off the field.
Saturday morning dawned crisp and blustery. This whole Homecoming thing has changed a lot since I was in high school. The kiddo’s big obsession was her nails. She wanted a full set of acrylics and went online, booked the appointment, and had the confirmation sent to my phone. As I said to friends, I have entered into what could potentially be the golden era of my parenting: when I just have to pay for things and wait in the car.
I wish I could post pics of her and her boyfriend but I keep her face off the blog since this is my story, not hers. But she looked gorgeous in her black lace dress – her boyfriend was dashing in a black jacket. There were pictures at my house with his mom, there were corsages, and her friends arrived – a group of sweet, scary smart and very eclectic and talented kids (who instantly recognized that I was listening to Miles Davis), took pictures in the park under the swirling sun and clouds and leaves and rain, had dinner at the pub and went for slurpees after the dance was over.
I waited up for her and when she got home, she immediately cast off her high sequined shoes and dropped into the couch with Sarge. The evening was fine, better than fine, quite fun. I made her grilled cheese and we talked until she couldn’t keep her eyes open.
Life with a teenager is hard and there are ups and downs. You walk a fine line of being involved and staying clear; living vicariously through them and also trying to teach them how to rely on themselves. They push you away and pull you close with dizzying speed. There are wild emotions because their brains haven’t developed and are flooded with chemicals. And so when we have times like this, when everything is just fine, better than fine, you take a deep breath and say a prayer of gratitude.
I am happy to report that at long last, I feel mostly recovered from my dust-up with Covid. I’m trying to get rid of the lingering fatigue and miasma in my lungs and head but have my smell and taste back, am back to running (slow, snotty, and wheezy), and I am feeling about a thousand percent better. It was no joke, though, and took me down for longer than any illness I’ve had in the last few years, so again, I highly recommend boosting and taking it seriously.
Otherwise, we’ve been chugging along with marching band season, which hasn’t been as all-consuming this year due to fewer home games. Between that and Covid, I’ve only been to one tailgate and I”ll miss the first marching competition next Saturday because we have tickets to ‘Funny Girl’ at the Fisher Theater in Detroit (purchased before the competition schedule was released). The kiddo has a date to Homecoming in early October (!!) so we had to go dress shopping. The last one she tried on was the winner and is quite an elegant little number, black lace over a nude silk sheath, with little off-the-shoulder straps. She’s going to look like a million bucks, very Old Hollywood, but as a mom it is still gobsmacking to see how SMALL all the dresses are. I told a friend on Facebook that I think they could make 3 of today’s dresses out of 1 of ours from the 1980’s / early 90’s.
We booked our Spring Break – yes, it seems early but after forcing the kid to go to Colonial Williamsburg last year, I’d promised her a trip somewhere warm for next spring. We are going to the Bahamas! For 5 nights and 4 days which already stresses me out a little bit (thinking about being away from home that long) but which I’m sure will be an amazing trip.
The weather in Michigan has been very warm and summery, sunny days with highs in the upper 70’s and cool nights, lather rinse repeat. It shows no signs of cooling off anytime in the next 10 days which is nice, but I really am craving some crisp weather, frost on the pumpkins, and some storms to usher in the cozy season. There’s nothing worse than traipsing around a cider mill or pumpkin patch when it’s 80 degrees and you are sweating and there are bees in your cider.
I think everyone who works a regular 9-5 weekday schedule knows that one of their weekend days is almost entirely spent doing things to get ready for the upcoming work week. This is usually my Sunday. Case in point, today I ran 4.5 miles, did the meal plan for the week, got an oil change, grocery shopped, picked up prescriptions, made dinner, cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor. It kind of pisses me off that I have to go back to work tomorrow.
Otherwise, it was a really nice weekend. The kid had a marching band performance on Saturday and Brandon headed down to Greenfield Village for a classic car show. She and I ambled downtown and had dinner on the patio of the Mexican restaurant, nosed around TJMaxx and on a whim decided to check out a movie at our local 1920’s movie theatre. The only thing playing was “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3” and although I haven’t seen the second one, neither of us had anything better to do and I really wanted Reese’s Pieces. The theater was full of old people (no surprise) and elementary school kids (somewhat surprising). Apparently it was a birthday party and it definitely seemed like an odd activity for kids who had to have booster seats. It did, however, undoubtedly improve a mediocre film to have a pack of kids waving plastic Greece flags. It also really improved the joke of the elderly aunt donning an apron displaying the figure of a voluptuous naked woman – the kids shrieked with hilarity and shock, popcorn flew, flags waved, and parents sighed.
The week ahead is busy but at least I’m ready, and we are looking forward to the first real season Friday night home game, tailgate and band halftime show. Fall is underway!
This is the time of year I love best. We are still getting warm, honey-dripped sunshine days here in Michigan, but also chilly nights, crunching leaves, changing skies and the smell of woodsmoke.
LIfe continues apace. The kiddo got glammed up for her Homecoming dance a few weeks ago and seemed to enjoy herself, although she did comment that it was really just like a much more intensive middle school dance.
Marching band will take up an inordinate amount of time through October and it’s our main social activity, both the kiddo’s and mine. I had no idea what a commitment it would be as a ‘band mom’ but for as tiring as it can be, I love volunteering my time and hanging out with the other band parents. There are full weeks of rehearsals and then on weekends, tailgates and football games, and band competitions. I help out with uniforms before and after every performance and try not to embarrass the kiddo too much by my presence. I’m so happy that she consents to me participating in her activities through volunteering and I love being involved. I’ve met many great people and we’ve developed a small village of supportive, engaged parents that I just don’t know what I’d do without. I fully confess to being a full-on band geek so I can think of many worse ways to spend my time on weekends than watching a great marching band. This past weekend we were at Chippewa Valley for a competition and despite the chill and the wind, it was an exciting and fun event for everyone.
Unfortunately, the cooler weather and busy schedules have also meant random colds and illnesses and a lot of Covid tests (fortunately all negative so far).
On top of it all, I signed up for a weekly crochet class through the month of October and so for two hours every week, I’ll be working away at swatches and then moving on to a granny square. I have to remind myself that I deserve these times away from work and my family because we’ve been so busy that it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking I am existing the best only when I’m doing something productive for someone else, and I feel guilty about having something just for myself.
I have so many knitting projects in the queue that I don’t even know where to start – I think I’ll do a full rundown of wips and planned projects very soon because if I don’t start making lists, I’ll forget what I have squirreled away in various bags and baskets.
So that’s the update from my corner of the world. I hope wherever you are, you are doing well and are safe, healthy, and doing things that make you happy either just for yourself or for / with people you love. xo
The weather has turned damp and blustery, and the brightest things in the yard are the fallen leaves and the bright mums in pots, all orange and yellow. There are five weeks left of fall marching band season, and while we’re really enjoying the Friday night tailgates and games, it’s definitely a major time commitment. Three afternoon / evening rehearsals a week, plus games, and something almost every Saturday – band competitions, fundraisers, pictures, etc. The kiddo gets rides with friends, and the mom friends carpool, but there are always pickups and dropoffs to coordinate. And we bring food for every tailgate, and I’ve been volunteering before and after games to help the kids with uniforms. All in all, it’s no wonder they don’t want band kids to do a competing fall sport or activity.
This weekend is the big Homecoming parade, game, and dance, and a couple of weeks ago the kiddo and I went shopping for her dress and shoes. Homecoming has changed a lot since my high school days – when people mostly went with dates. My Homecoming dress (circa 1989) was a black Limited shirtwaist that went to my ankles and up to my neck and fastened with a gold brooch. Kiddo said I looked like I was going to a funeral and Brandon said I looked like I was wearing a shower curtain…Suffice it to say, dresses have changed – I think there was more fabric in the sleeves of my dress than in the entire rack of dresses we saw at the department store. The Homecoming dresses now are more like very abbreviated prom dresses from my youth – all silk and satin, strapless and spangled. I think they look like skating costumes. And kids just go – with friends, in groups, etc. The kiddo picked out a jade green slipdress, and gave me major side-eye when I asked about nylons / stockings – apparently that is NOT DONE anymore (I wore black nylons with my shirtdress. Follow me for more fashion tips). She looks fantastic, even though I definitely wish there was more to it – hey, how about a vintage shirtwaist? – but she looks suddenly glam, tall and leggy in heels.
baby sara & bonus footage of our bassett hound cate
I really intended to blog more in September, but in addition to being a band mom, I’ve been busy at work with a major negotiation and an audit, and last week had to take some time off to attend my best friend’s mother’s funeral in my hometown. Time is marching on rapidly this autumn, and the changes around me seem particularly evident, in my own life and in the people and family around me. Growth, loss, change, and fall makes even the small actions of our human lives seem particularly relevant and poignant.
I hope you are all having a good month and looking forward to October. This is my favorite time of year and I can’t wait to hang up my Halloween decorations, light the candles, and make a big pot of soup. xo
Six Ten 