The House of Dark Shadows, 1970

“Vampire Barnabas Collins is accidentally released from his centuries-long confinement at his family’s estate.” A theatrical retelling of the classic TV show.

Despite some positive IMBD reviews, this is a truly dreadful film. The lack of cohesive narrative and quick jumps between time and place make it difficult to follow unless you’ve seen the show. Even then there is absolutely no logic to the behavior of any character – particularly the supposed scientist with crazy bedhead who most resembles a cross between Mrs Roper and Will Ferrell as Harry Caray – when faced with a vampire who in turn looks startlingly like Mr. Bean.
The best thing about it is the setting – filmed on location in places like the Lyndhurst Estate and Sleepy Hollow cemetery in Tarrytown, NY and which lends a truly beautiful gothic aesthetic that almost makes up for the rest of the schlock.

Happy Birthday to Me, 1981

At the snobby Crawford Academy, Virginia’s group of friends start to go missing years after horrible events that happened to her as a child around her birthday.”

Melissa Sue Anderson should have stayed on the prairie (where she played Mary). Also starring Glenn Ford, a staple of many old movies including Superman, and Tracey E. Bregman (Lauren on Young & the Restless). All of the hot young assholes who make up the “Top 10” at Crawford are being murdered in new and innovative ways – one literally gagged 1980s-prep style (though not with a spoon – a kebab). Because apparently in 1980s Crawford Academy, the midnight snack of choice for the cool kids are – kebabs. Of course. You can’t kill someone as easily with a pizza roll!

There is a highly nonsensical twist at the end when the killer is revealed to be not who we thought, but one of the other “cool kids” apparently wearing a latex mask so convincing that even the killer’s father was fooled. (The original deepfake?)
A classic 1980s slasher and the familiar faces make it all the more entertaining.

Night of the Lepus, 1972

“Husband-and-wife scientists unwittingly unleash a horde of giant man-eating rabbits.”

There are a lot of things that defy explanation about this film. First, that relatively respected actors such as Janet Leigh, DeForest Kelley, & Rory Calhoun got mixed up in it. Second, that we are supposed to be afraid of a gang of super cute and decidedly non-scary fluffy bunnies splashed with red paint and allowed to rampage amongst small scale models of farms and villages; third, that they tried to pass off a DUDE IN A BUNNY SUIT as a real murderous rampaging bunter for the close-up killings. Fourth, that a sheriff at a crowded drive-in movie could use a bull horn to announce ““A herd of killer rabbits is headed this way, we have to evacuate this theatre!” And not one person yelled back “Rabbits are herbivores!” (or tried to blame Joe Biden).

I think we had our best year yet with 21 Days of Horror, achieving 19 out of 21 targeted films. Without further ado, here are our picks for notable watches, with the full list at the end of the post. A note on our categories: we have a Best of Season, a Worst of Season, and an additional category of Rewatchable. A Rewatchable is a film that for us becomes a classic that we can go back to year after year.

Sara’s Picks:

Best of Season: Terror Train, 1980. Unusually, the first film we watched also ended up being my favorite for the season. It’s not strictly a Halloween film, as it takes place over New Year’s; a fraternity books a picturesque old sleeper train for an overnight masquerade party. Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, it’s a standard ‘revenge’ plot, but gets many extra points from me for cool costumes, an aura of ‘Murder on the Orient Express’, and magician David Copperfield in a peculiar guest role.

Worst of Season: Chopping Mall, 1986. Brandon disagrees but in my opinion this film was wretched. A small group of kids (with a random young married couple thrown in to buy beer) decide to have a sex party in a mall furniture store after hours. Meanwhile, a lightning storm scrambles the wiring of the experimental robot security team. Transformed into rogue killing machines, the murderous wheelie bins slowly scoot around the mall stalking and zorching the sex crazed teens. The virginal nerd kids slowly and ineffectively dispatch the completely not scary robots and live to hold hands for another day.

Rewatchables: Halloween, 1978 and American Werewolf in London, 1981

Brandon’s Picks:

Best of Season: Sleepaway Camp, 1983. 80 minutes of terrible movie, but the twist at the end of the 81st minute makes this one very memorable.

Worst of Season: The Mutilator, 1984. Released as Fall Break, a terrific example of dumb choices made by people under duress.

Rewatchable: American Werewolf in London, 1981

• Terror Train, 1980; Sara’s Best of Season
• Halloween II, 1981
• April Fool, 1986; an ensemble cast featuring Biff from Back to the Future.
• Fright Night, 1985; an excellent turn by Roddy McDowell, some great supporting performances but these do NOT include Marci from Married with Children.
• Sleepaway Camp, 1983
• Train to Busan, 2016
• Graduation Day, 1981
• Chopping Mall, 1986; Sara’s Worst of Season
• The Evil, 1978; unremarkable except for a few good 1970’s outfits. Brandon: “Richard Crenna. C’mon, man… Not a bad premise, and somewhat atmospheric, but it started to feel like a TV movie after awhile.”
• Halloween, 1978; Sara’s Rewatchable
• Friday the 13th, 1980; who doesn’t remember Kevin Bacon? Altogether a surprisingly solid horror film and may also attain a Rewatchable category from Sara.
• The Fog, 1980; another surprisingly good movie that had subtle yet undeniable tips of the atmospheric hat to The Birds, even though the plots were not similar.
• Curtains, 1983; a small budget cult classic with an incomprehensible plot starring several very similar-looking late 1970’s-looking actresses with fluffy hair and aggressively tweezed eyebrows; a lyrical ice skating scene and a really good scary mask.
• Silent Night, Deadly Night, 1984; this was a strong runner-up for Sara’s Best of Season. Really excellent. Points taken off for the fact that it’s actually a twisted Christmas movie. Brandon: “This has been on my list for well over 30 years. Not bad, and the toys of the era as seen in the toy store where the movie is set offered some wonderful nostalgia.”
• American Werewolf in London, 1981; Brandon and Sara’s Rewatchable
• The Mutilator, 1984
• The VIllage, 2004
• Hellraiser, 1987; really stands up. Dense plot and a lot of backstory. Brandon: “I probably could not have watched this as a teenager, afraid of the flying fish hooks, but a lot of this plays now as camp. Overall, the most sophisticated story of this genre.”
• Dead & Buried, 1981; this is another honorable mention as a really strong small budget film starring James Farentino as a sheriff in a small town and the only one who doesn’t know that everyone else is a zombie.

And that’s a wrap until next year. I hope your Halloweens are delightfully creepy and atmospheric and your pillowcases are full of candy and your masks still allow you to see oncoming traffic and any lurking masked figures around hedges. Be well and Happy Samhain!