show us your books! january reads

It feels like I’ve had a lot of books in the fire this month (that was a strange half-metaphor that I should probably go back and delete and reword but I’m guessing you guys know what I mean) but my stats are disappointingly low when I go back to recap. Never mind. There were a couple of good ones that I can’t wait to tell you about!

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The Chestnut Man by Søren Sveistrup was a Nordic thriller and I love a good Nordic thriller especially in the middle of winter. Sveistrup is the man behind the Danish show “The Killing” – I didn’t watch the Danish original, but I really enjoyed the American version starring Mireille Enos and Joel Kinnaman. Chestnut Man follows two seemingly mismatched detectives tracking a serial killer and although I didn’t like it quite as much as other thrillers I’ve read, I was hooked until the big reveal at the end (which I didn’t see coming). I would definitely read more by this author about these characters.

The Dark Angel by Elly Griffiths – yes, yes, another Ruth Galloway mystery but now I’m caught up in the series with no more to read or write about until there’s a new offering. In this most recent, Ruth takes a trip to Italy to help consult with a colleague about some Roman remains (and temporarily escape her complicated relationship with local police officer DCI Nelson who is her daughter Kate’s father). As always, the mix of history, archaeology, a charming protagonist in Dr Ruth Galloway, and a thorny love story makes this series a total winner in my book.

The Five by Hallie Rubenhold is my starred review this month. I confess to being a bit of a Ripperologist so when I bought this on my Kindle I thought I was in for another assessment of Jack and yet another opinion on his identity. However, Jack the Ripper is really a marginal character, as much as he can be – the book is an intensely researched, thorough, and sympathetic deep dive into the lives of his canonical five victims. These women are rarely considered, but reading about their tragic lives in Victorian England and how they have been viewed (and disparaged) made me realize they aren’t simply the victims of a deranged serial killer, they are truly victims of the society in which they were born women. Rubenhold reconstructs the terrible reality of misogyny, poverty, domestic abuse and addiction that these women experienced, in most cases trying to take care of an ever-growing number of children (see below) on paltry earnings. It can be no surprise that these demands resulted in alcoholism, divorce or death, and left them and their children at risk, in and out of slums and workhouses. Although the press coverage (both then and now) describes them as prostitutes, except for one, they were not in fact sex workers by trade. What they were was poor, abused, homeless, and addicted. History has done these women a grievous disservice and Rubenhold’s book is a long overdue revelation about our collective instinct to blame and forget the victim while turning the perpetrator into a celebrity.

“A woman’s entire function was to support men, and if the roles of their male family members were to support the roles and needs of men wealthier than them, then the women at the bottom were driven like piles deeper and harder into the ground in order to bear the weight of everyone else’s demands. A woman’s role was to produce children and to raise them, but because rudimentary contraception and published information about birth control was made virtually unavailable to the poor, they…had no real means of managing the size of their families or preventing an inevitable backslide into financial hardship. The inability to break this cycle – and to better their own prospects and those of their children – would have been soul crushing, but borne with resignation.” – Hallie Rubenhold, “The Five”

Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans may have been my starred review if I hadn’t read The Five. Brandon and I have divergent belief systems – he is a committed Christian and I am an agnostic – and we frequently discuss the nature of faith. I am perplexed by his ability to see the Bible as a sacred text and believe, unquestioningly, in it (at least, the New Testament); he is perplexed and somewhat sad that I can’t, although he is very non-judgmental. This book really brought me closer to understanding the upside of Christianity. Rachel Held Evans was born into a conservative Christian family but left the evangelical church after years of struggling with what she saw as its exclusionary and judgemental views. The very reasons that she left the church are the reasons why I am not a Christian. Sadly, Ms. Evans died at age 37 from illness but left behind several works questioning and researching Christianity. From the New York Times: “Her congregation was online, and her Twitter feed became her church, a gathering place for thousands to question, find safety in their doubts and learn to believe in new ways. Her work became the hub for a diaspora. She brought together once-disparate progressive, post-evangelical groups and hosted conferences to try to include nonwhite and sexual minorities, many of whom felt ostracized by the churches of their youth. She wrote four popular books, which wrestled with evangelicalism and the patriarchy of her conservative Christian upbringing, and documented her transition to a mainline Christian identity, which moved away from biblical literalism toward affirmation of L.G.B.T. people.

And this month I have a bonus audiobook- The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern. I read a lot of criticism about this book, with many reviewers disliking it as meandering and incomprehensible and at worst, pointless. While I don’t think I totally understood it all, and it could have benefited from some editing, I enjoyed listening to it. Her writing is so detailed and the worlds she builds so compelling that I could see myself in every scene even if it was a dollhouse full of bees the size of cats on a sea of confetti. I wish there could have been more from my favorite character Kat – knitter, secret-diary-writer – but all in all it made my dark wintry commutes fly by.

Whew!! Kind of a deep SUYB this month but all good stuff. Can’t wait to see what you’ve gotten into!

Life According to Steph

 

and if it snows that stretch down south won’t ever stand the strain

So long, January, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

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When we last visited, I was in the dank pit of seasonal grumpiness…but now January is over and somehow we all survived. February can be tough, too, but it’s a shorter month, the days are becoming incrementally longer, and hopefully there will be a bit more sunshine than we’ve had recently. A girl can dream.

No one else in the house except for the cats have had the same January doldrums as I have (and they’re doing better now that their Prozac has been refilled). Brandon built shelves for our master closet and painted the upstairs hallway and rehung all of my family pictures in that hallway, all on the weekends even though he works long days during the week and has a long commute, too. All I ever want to do on weekends is take naps. Miss L, too, has been a tiny dynamo. She auditioned for her middle school play, she’s auditioned for a small scholarship to a wonderful fine arts summer camp for her flute, she continues three hours a week of dance, and altogether she is a beam of bright light and enthusiasm and fearlessness. I could not be more proud of her.

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I’m knitting away on my traditional New Year socks, which are usually just a simple sock recipe and usually get named after a book. (Last year’s was Killing Commendatore  by Murakami.) While I knit, we’re watching His Dark Materials on HBO and after we’re done, I’ll have Miss L watch the feature length film version, Golden Compass, with Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman. In general I  like the HBO version better, although I just can’t with Lin-Manuel Miranda as Lee Scoresby. Lee in my head is always a Carradine.

So this is January, done and dusted. I did great with meal planning in January, and tried some new recipes that will continue into our rotations. I love the cast iron skillet and cookbook, and I tried a couple of crockpot recipes from Pinterest that made Miss L’s dance days easier. I also did very well with waking up earlier / getting to work earlier; a good habit to continue in February and once it starts getting lighter earlier, I hope to add some morning walks / runs into my weekly schedule, weather permitting.
Looking ahead to February, I hope to run more and be outside more; I have one of my favorite small races, the Betsie Bay Frozen 5k. I also want to hit the gym at least once a week for weight training. I want to drink more matcha green tea lattes. I struggled with the no-spend January, so I’m going to push myself to do better in February, although we are buying a rug and a chair for the den and maybe a runner for the newly painted upstairs hallway. One of the things I splurged on in January that was specifically on my “no spend” list was yarn – sigh – I have a problem. I got this colorway from Etsy after seeing this post. So once the New Year’s socks are finished, named, and unveiled, I’ll be casting on.

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I hope you are all proud of yourselves for making it through January even if you didn’t struggle as much as I did (and I hope you didn’t). I look forward to hearing more about my blog and vlog friends’ February plans and projects, books and shows and podcasts and passions, and lives in general. Be well and exercise self care and maybe pet some dogs or cats and stay hydrated and my mom says D3 is good and it’s always good to create some art with pencils or paint or yarn or words or your camera or your voice.
xo Happy February!

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this week is born ugly

“Some days are born ugly. From the very first light they are no damn good what ever the weather, and everybody knows it. No one knows what causes this, but on such a day people resist getting out of bed and set their heels against the day. When they are finally forced out by hunger or job they find that the day is just as lousy as they knew it would be.” – John Steinbeck, “Sweet Thursday”

It’s a sad fact of life (mine, at least) that no amount of organization – washi tape and cute stickers in planners, dinners carefully plotted and shopped for, weekends spent doing laundry and filling empty tanks with gas – can really offset a week that is just determined to be bad. It’s also a fact that some weeks aren’t bad because anything bad actually happens, but because I am somehow incapable of viewing anything that happens as good. This may not make any sense but it’s been my reality this week in particular.

This week I hate my job, and everyone is on my nerves and asking for ridiculous things at the last minute that I can’t accomplish and even if I could I wouldn’t want to. I don’t want to work out because I’m sick of the treadmill and then I’m more miserable because I haven’t worked out. I haven’t gotten any natural light in days and all of my pants are too tight. This week the cats have run out of Prozac and are bickering and yowling at odd hours of the night and waking everybody up. This week I tried new recipes from new cookbooks that Miss L ended up hating and by the way she can’t find her tights for dance.

This week I have to watch more squawking Republicans on television while they try to make lame excuses for their morally and ethically bankrupt President who is so undeserving of any sort of defense that it’s enough to gag a maggot off a gut wagon, as my grandmother is wont to say (although not about Trump, sadly).

I’m sure next week will be better and I am TRYING TO REMEMBER TO EXPRESS GRATITUDE AND NOT PISSINESS DAMN IT.

Thank you for listening to my rant and I will be back soon with an improved attitude (IF IT KILLS ME).

In the meantime, a few things that I’ve used as sandbags this week against the creeping tide of irritation.

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still getting up early!

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sneaky handknits for my work commutes…

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I don’t even need gold; just maybe a week or so of vacation

show us your books! december reads

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It feels like a long time since we’ve had a Show Us Your Books! It seems like I would have had some extra time for by-the-fireplace reading and under-the-Christmas-tree reading but the holiday flurry of activity actually made it harder for me to carve out good reading time. Still, I had a couple of good ‘uns.

Without further ado:
The Revolution of Marina M. by Janet Fitch was a whomper in terms of sheer length and you know, anytime you get into the Russian revolution it’s going to be weighty subject matter. A blurb described it as a female Dr. Zhivago and I can see that (we actually re-watched “Dr. Zhivago” while I was reading this book and it was immensely satisfying). Marina is the daughter of a wealthy Russian family before the 1917 revolution and as the events unfold, she makes several choices that put her at odds with her family and friends, and set her on a dangerous yet liberating path through the political upheaval. I actually picked this up because the sequel is on the New Book shelf at the library and it interested me, but I thought I should read the first one first. I liked the characters and found this very engaging and well-written and led to many discussions about Russian history with Brandon, who went there in the 1980’s.

The Year of Less: How I Stopped Shopping, Gave Away My Belongings, and Discovered Life Is Worth More Than Anything You Can Buy In A Store by Cait Flanders wins the award for book with a title longer than the book itself. The subject matter is pretty self-explanatory – I thought this was okay. It wasn’t what I expected, and was maybe more self-indulgent than it could have been, but it’s nice to read about people coming to the same conclusions about consumption and excess that I am. It’s impressive that Ms. Flanders did so at such a young age and I wish that I’d been as self-aware as she is when I was her age.

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obligatory cat picture featuring pot roast!

The Chalk Pit by Elly Griffiths (Ruth Galloway #9) yep, still on the Ruth Galloway kick although I have just one more in the series to read. This one wasn’t as absorbing for me as her previous contributions but I still love Ruth and her friends, colleagues, neighbors and nemeses and have #10 sitting on my desk at home waiting to start.

City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert was also not what I expected. It took me awhile to get caught up in this one, although the time period is interesting, and the characters and the writing in general were well done. I didn’t start to really connect with the story and feel involved until about halfway through, and I’m glad I hung in there, because the main character as a grown woman was more intriguing than her young self. I wished there had been more detail in the second half of the story rather than the first. Set before, during, and after WWII in New York, in a rattletrap theater full of fascinating female characters and few raffish men, this story is somewhat thematically similar to Revolution of Marina M. as it also traces a young woman’s liberation and independence through a charged social & political time, and we share her coming of age as major cultural shifts take place around her.

Big Sky by Kate Atkinson caused me to drop everything else while I was reading it because I LOVE Kate Atkinson and I LOVE Jackson Brodie (and his estranged soulmate Julia). This contribution to Jackson’s arc didn’t appeal to me as much as his past endeavors but I still couldn’t put it down, despite the distasteful plot (spoiler: there is human trafficking). As always, there are several seemingly unrelated threads and characters that wander in and out and then are brought together expertly by Atkinson in the climax. I will always love Jackson and I will always love Kate Atkinson, and it’s a toss up as to which of her book styles I like better – her mysteries or her more experimental themes such as she explored in “God In Ruins” and “Life After Life”. Either way, she is an absolute winner in my book and this one is no different. I look forward to seeing where Jackson goes next.

No audiobooks this month since I was listening mostly to Josh and Chuck on the “Stuff You Should Know” podcast and also our Local 4 WDIV podcast “Shattered” Season 4 about Jimmy Hoffa.

Look forward to checking out everyone else’s reads this month!

Life According to Steph

 

weekend randoms

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Emmett is off his kitty Prozac and feeling needy

We spent most of yesterday with our eyes on the skies and our weather apps as the forecasters had told us to expect an “unprecedented” winter storm that would “more than likely” result in power outages. We hauled our woodpile into the garage and then watched it rain, and rain, and rain, and then sleet a little bit, and this morning it’s brightly sunny and clear. Don’t get me wrong – I am NOT complaining.

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Our sideyard always floods!

My mom got me this skillet cookbook for Christmas along with two hardcore cast iron skillets and last night I made a chicken and rice recipe. It was excellent and I can’t wait to try some skillet bread & other recipes. There’s something about cast iron.

I’m trucking on my sweater and finished the ribbing, so very soon will be starting on sleeves and maybe have an unblocked, work-in-process photo to share…just a reminder that I’m knitting the Pink Memories pattern by Isabell Kraemer. I also got these adorable progress keepers from the Etsy shop Bump on a Hill and I can’t wait to use them on the sleeves.

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I’m doing a lot of knitting to a new-to-me vlog these days – Talasbuan, about a couple in Sweden going off-grid. The photography is just lovely and their journey fascinating.

And we are still on the fence about the new Dracula on Netflix, but likely going to tune in for the second episode tonight!

I hope you are warm and dry and I will see you here on Tuesday for Show Us Your Books – I have a couple great ones to share!

xo

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ice bath

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The first week back after the holiday is always a bit of an ice bath. I was actually somewhat refreshed from my holiday vacation and while not exactly “ready” to go back to real life, I’m at least holding up. I still feel pretty behind – I meant to post earlier this week, my birdfeeders are empty and I haven’t done a good job at keeping up with exercise this week – leaving in the dark, coming home in the dark, tired but pushing forward.

 

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It’s helped that I’ve been working my plan in three main areas this week:
First, it’s Dry January, which always makes me feel healthy and well-rested. It’s also No-Spend January, which means I only spend on necessities or things that I planned for / wrote down on my “approved” list.
Second, I’m making a concerted effort to get up and out the door early and not linger around the house, unwashed and in pajamas, delaying my eventual groaning slog into the office after taking Miss L to school. I’m dropping her off and heading straight in to work, and the office is pretty peaceful until about 9:00. I can get a solid hour-plus of work in before the phone calls, emails, and colleague drop-bys begin. This also capitalizes on my most productive time of day, so it’s a win. Pot Roast helps with this as she views it as her personal job to get Miss L and I up and out the door. She’s not happy until she knows we’re both dressed, packed, and moving in that direction and then, worn out, she retires to bed for a well-deserved nap.
Third, I am using my planner like a champ, meal planning, shopping, and getting things crossed off.

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Next week will be easier and every day the sun stays up for a little bit longer. We celebrated Elvis’ birthday this week (Brandon is a big Elvis fan) at our local historic movie theater – the Civic always shows an Elvis film on his birthday and this year it was “King Creole”. The audience is full of regulars who show up year over year, we’re indulgent and affectionate, we laugh gently at the cringy bits and applaud the singing.
I hope if this is your first week back in a post-holiday routine that you are putting one foot in front of the other, managing the stress and tragedy of the world around us right now, and staying healthy and safe.

start the way you mean to finish

I’m not big on posts that are essentially “all the awesome things that happened to me / I accomplished / I read / I ate in 20xx” so this isn’t that. I do, however, like a bit of reflection.

That sweater hasn’t gotten knit yet (although I just have ribbing, pockets, and sleeves to go); I beat my running mileage goal by 1.5 miles; and I read a lot of good books.

2019 was a wonderful year for me, after several bad-to-middling ones; but rest assured, if you are going through a hard time and don’t want to read a self-congratulatory post, please know that I had to go through rough times to get to this part of my life. A lot of them were through my own choices. So now, every day that I’m able to see the blessings in being surrounded by love, peace, calm, simplicity, and family is a day that I feel immense gratitude for. I fought against myself so hard for so long, and against the flow of my life, and against things that were good for me and made me happy, and I’m so thankful for the person I am now, and for all of my people – family born and family chosen.

The last couple of days of the year have been restful and quiet, some shopping, some running, lots of eating and drinking and cats.

I’m really excited for 2020 and so grateful for all of you who read this blog and look at my pictures and keep coming back.  I look forward to starting 2020 the way I mean to finish it, with gratitude and love and peace, and that’s my wish for all of you, as well.

See you next year.

xoxo

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“for last year’s words belong to last year’s language; and next year’s words await another voice.” – TS Eliot

holidaying

We’ve been enjoying a quiet holiday week at home. Our Christmas morning was relaxing and simple, opening presents with Miss L and having a nice breakfast; Pot Roast was particularly involved in the morning festivities and thought all of the presents were HERS.

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“MINEZ??”

Brandon’s birthday lands on Christmas so since we’ve been dating, we’ve had his folks over for Christmas dinner to celebrate. He has simple tastes – he considers it the best birthday ever when he has his family around him, he gets a rock & roll birthday cake featuring one of his fave artists, and he gets a nice bottle of whiskey to nurse throughout the year. This year, he got a Ramones cake (last year was Morrissey and two years ago, Elvis) and a bottle of Clyde Mays. It was expensive so hopefully it’s good (while I like beer and wine, and the occasional gin & tonic when the weather permits, I can’t abide whiskey, bourbon, Scotch – anything like that. Just the smell makes me ill. So I leave it to him to judge).

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third verse, different from the first

We also had filet mignon and some baked Brie and lots of wine and forgot to open champagne. I think it was a happy day for all of us.

Miss L went to her dad’s and Brandon went back to work, so I spent my Boxing Day in a delightfully empty house in pajamas. I’d intended to go for a run but just could not muster myself; instead, I napped, finished up some Vlogmasses on YouTube, finished reading “City of Girls” by Elizabeth Gilbert (review to come on Show Us Your Books in January), and puttered around the house. All of my favorite things!

Today I finally left the house, and accompanied Miss L and her Girl Scout Troop to a showing of the new Little Women, which I really liked, except for a couple of minor quibbles regarding its length (CAN’T we go back to the days of shorter films) and Laura Dern as Marmee (come ON). I went into it thinking that no one could do a better Jo than Maya Hawke and I came out a Saoirse Ronan convert. But I’ll admit that the absolute high point for me was Timothee Chalamet as Laurie especially after seeing him in “The King” on Netflix.

I’m off until after the first of the year and I love the feeling of forgetting what day it is.

I hope you are all having a wonderful week so far and looking forward to a happy weekend doing things you enjoy.

xoxo

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solstice celebrations

We’ve been up north for a few days celebrating the solstice with my folks. We’ll be home for Christmas but in the meantime we’ve been enjoying the unseasonably mild temperatures and doing some last minute shopping and adventuring.

We hit Glen Arbor to visit Cherry Republic and loaded ourselves down with free samples. The big joke in my family re. Cherry Republic is that when Miss L was a tiny thing, we were driving home from an expedition there and I heard her in the backseat munching on free samples she’d stowed in her pockets.

We also visited the exceptionally wonderful Cottage Books, where they gave us a bag full of graphic novels that they’d gotten as complimentary copies. Of course we HAD to buy books as well so we were laden.

And we had our traditional winter solstice hike. The sun did its valiant best but by 3PM was hanging low in the sky, its strength spent. No matter- we’ve turned the corner now. Brighter every day ahead.

My mom and I took a short road trip to a yarn shop in Cedar that I’d seen on several blogs and ‘grams and vlogs. Wool and Honey is so beautiful and the owner is just a lovely, warm soul. We were instantly charmed and comfortable and spent a long time looking at their yarns and notions and extensive selection of patterns. Their Sleeping Bear Yarn club has some exquisite colorways that truly embody the natural beauty of this part of the state combined with artisan fiber craftsmanship. I was so happy to be able to visit and buy a couple of skeins of different types of wool for gifts for my own self.

We love this part of the world and always feel like our buckets are filled after a few days here.

That being said, we will also be happy to be back downstate tomorrow for our Christmas Eve and Christmas celebrations, and reunited with Brandon, Emmett, Sarge, and Pot Roast.

I hope you all have a very happy holiday week no matter what you celebrate.

My warmest wishes to you and yours! xoxo

parental valor, planners and a finished object

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I had a tummy bug on Monday and let me tell you, the unsung moments of parental heroism really come when you are valiantly striving not to humiliate your child by vomiting in the middle school dropoff line. Miss L may never fully appreciate this enormous act of valor but I certainly felt proud of myself! I slept most of the day and was better within 24 hours but man, it was touch and go for awhile.

So THAT was a poor start to the week, but the weekend preceding the ailment was great. Miss L and I drove up north for a quick visit with my parents and we took my mom to see The Nutcracker as performed by the Interlochen Arts Academy Dance Company and Orchestra. It was the first time for Miss L and I to see Nutcracker live and it was a beautiful performance.

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And now it’s the week before Christmas and I’m trying my best to clear my desk off at work and be ready for a long holiday break. I finished a trial run at a pattern I purchased just recently – The Petite Jumper by The Petite Knitter. I saw this on the Fiber Tales vlog and immediately wanted to make it. This first one turned out a bit wonky as I twisted the needles on one of the sleeves when knitting in the round. But the second one I just finished (in the same colors) is much better. I’m doing a couple to accompany Christmas presents for near-and-dears and then I’m going to do a couple more using the same colors but in different mixes – so a cream body with red and brown accents, a red body with cream and brown accents, etc. – for a little garland. It’s a very quick, cute pattern but, as Fiber Tales noted in her vlog, it is a little fiddly and requires some concentration (I’m just happy I remembered how to do a color chart in the round).

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In the Happy Mail department, I got some boxes full of materials for soap-making (more on that in the New Year) and I’ve received my 2020 planners – I went with Hobonichi this year. I want to do a better job this year with bullet journals / planners. We keep a Google calendar for Miss L, so both of her households can stay up to date on her activities, but for my own personal life, I’ve never really adjusted to an electronic calendar and much prefer paper. Additionally, working for a Japanese company, I love the Japanese minimalist aesthetic and the cultural emphasis on making organization and efficiency an art form.For work, where I need more writing space for meeting notes, I got the Hobonichi Techo, which has monthly pages and pages for individual days with inspiring quotes / factoids at the bottom of each 2-day stretch. In addition, it’s the Steiff limited edition so it has the Steiff bear on the cover underneath the Hobonichi kanji. I really love this planner and wish that I’d gotten the Techo for my personal planner, too (I strictly separate my work life and personal life – separate phones, separate notebooks, separate planners – working in a Legal department will do that to you). Instead, I got the Hobonichi Weekly for my personal planning and I feel a little sad that it is small and doesn’t have individual day pages. Still, though, it’s a great size for my purse or knitting bag or work satchel, and I ordered several cute pens and markers and washi tapes when I placed a recent order from a Japanese pen/stationery shop for Miss L’s stocking.

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So these are just a few notes from Suburban Elysia. I hope you are all enjoying the best things about the holiday season and letting go of anything that doesn’t serve you. Be well and take some time for yourself before things get any more hectic. xoxo