2023!

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Happy 2023! I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season. I’m back to work tomorrow after being off since the 16th…after 20 years at Widget Central, I’m finally one of those people who can take two weeks off at the end of the year! It occurred to me halfway through my holiday that if I were retired, this is basically what my days would look like. I can say that once I am retired, my nails will be painted regularly, I’ll run or get outside or go to the gym almost every day, I’ll take way more naps, read and knit more, and, on the downside, drink much more wine. But retirement is far off so who knows where I will be then.

I finished a pair of mittens over the holiday, and cast on three new projects. Coincidentally, I sat down to watch ‘Little Women’ (the PBS version with Maya Hawke as Jo) and found myself winding up a mini-skein named ‘Louisa May Alcott’. I’m working on a bandit cowl from Clinton Hill Cashmere (their bespoke cashmere DK is like a dream), a workman’s dishcloth (I’m converted) and a gradient triangle scarf. The scarf will use minis that I got myself for Christmas as part of an 8-skein mini Advent – fingering weight themed Literary Women 0 from Six and Seven Fiber. MTC on these projects.

I actually sort of like the comparative austerity of January, after the splurge of the holidays. I like to budget again, and meal plan, track spending and be more frugal and use up stuff in the freezer and do Dry January. I don’t have any real resolutions, vision boards, or ‘words’ for 2023. 2022 was a busy yet ultimately calm and positive year and I just hope to repeat that…I hope to be essentially a good family member, partner, mom, and person. I see myself driving my kid around a lot, still, to her various activities, trying to be engaged and invested in her life and her experiences and her hobbies. My romance / partnership with Brandon is an absolute joy, no matter what we are doing, and I also want to see my bestie more often. I hope to connect with my parent / mom tribe and do solid work for Widget Central while still keeping a defined work / family life balance. Maybe I’ll paint my nails more and – I hope to check in here more often. I don’t know, the blogsphere is something I still feel excited about, but it also feels a lot like throwing words into an abyss that I never revisit. Last year I journaled in my Hobonichi much more often, and I have a five-year journal as well that I write in very regularly (it’s so cool to see my entries for the past years stacked up, so I can see exactly what I wrote.) And at least Facebook has a ‘Memories’ tab where it pulls up what I was doing two, ten, five years ago. Once I blog, the posts just go away and I’m not even sure who reads or connects with them, so it can feel a bit like a strangely useless exercise. So we’ll see what I can accomplish in that regard.

No matter what, all the best to you & yours and here’s to a good year ahead.

a busy october

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This is the time of year I love best. We are still getting warm, honey-dripped sunshine days here in Michigan, but also chilly nights, crunching leaves, changing skies and the smell of woodsmoke.

LIfe continues apace. The kiddo got glammed up for her Homecoming dance a few weeks ago and seemed to enjoy herself, although she did comment that it was really just like a much more intensive middle school dance.

Marching band will take up an inordinate amount of time through October and it’s our main social activity, both the kiddo’s and mine. I had no idea what a commitment it would be as a ‘band mom’ but for as tiring as it can be, I love volunteering my time and hanging out with the other band parents. There are full weeks of rehearsals and then on weekends, tailgates and football games, and band competitions. I help out with uniforms before and after every performance and try not to embarrass the kiddo too much by my presence. I’m so happy that she consents to me participating in her activities through volunteering and I love being involved. I’ve met many great people and we’ve developed a small village of supportive, engaged parents that I just don’t know what I’d do without. I fully confess to being a full-on band geek so I can think of many worse ways to spend my time on weekends than watching a great marching band. This past weekend we were at Chippewa Valley for a competition and despite the chill and the wind, it was an exciting and fun event for everyone.

Unfortunately, the cooler weather and busy schedules have also meant random colds and illnesses and a lot of Covid tests (fortunately all negative so far).

On top of it all, I signed up for a weekly crochet class through the month of October and so for two hours every week, I’ll be working away at swatches and then moving on to a granny square. I have to remind myself that I deserve these times away from work and my family because we’ve been so busy that it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking I am existing the best only when I’m doing something productive for someone else, and I feel guilty about having something just for myself.

I have so many knitting projects in the queue that I don’t even know where to start – I think I’ll do a full rundown of wips and planned projects very soon because if I don’t start making lists, I’ll forget what I have squirreled away in various bags and baskets.

So that’s the update from my corner of the world. I hope wherever you are, you are doing well and are safe, healthy, and doing things that make you happy either just for yourself or for / with people you love. xo

last week of september 2022

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The weather has turned damp and blustery, and the brightest things in the yard are the fallen leaves and the bright mums in pots, all orange and yellow. There are five weeks left of fall marching band season, and while we’re really enjoying the Friday night tailgates and games, it’s definitely a major time commitment. Three afternoon / evening rehearsals a week, plus games, and something almost every Saturday – band competitions, fundraisers, pictures, etc. The kiddo gets rides with friends, and the mom friends carpool, but there are always pickups and dropoffs to coordinate. And we bring food for every tailgate, and I’ve been volunteering before and after games to help the kids with uniforms. All in all, it’s no wonder they don’t want band kids to do a competing fall sport or activity.

This weekend is the big Homecoming parade, game, and dance, and a couple of weeks ago the kiddo and I went shopping for her dress and shoes. Homecoming has changed a lot since my high school days – when people mostly went with dates. My Homecoming dress (circa 1989) was a black Limited shirtwaist that went to my ankles and up to my neck and fastened with a gold brooch. Kiddo said I looked like I was going to a funeral and Brandon said I looked like I was wearing a shower curtain…Suffice it to say, dresses have changed – I think there was more fabric in the sleeves of my dress than in the entire rack of dresses we saw at the department store. The Homecoming dresses now are more like very abbreviated prom dresses from my youth – all silk and satin, strapless and spangled. I think they look like skating costumes. And kids just go – with friends, in groups, etc. The kiddo picked out a jade green slipdress, and gave me major side-eye when I asked about nylons / stockings – apparently that is NOT DONE anymore (I wore black nylons with my shirtdress. Follow me for more fashion tips). She looks fantastic, even though I definitely wish there was more to it – hey, how about a vintage shirtwaist? – but she looks suddenly glam, tall and leggy in heels.

baby sara & bonus footage of our bassett hound cate

I really intended to blog more in September, but in addition to being a band mom, I’ve been busy at work with a major negotiation and an audit, and last week had to take some time off to attend my best friend’s mother’s funeral in my hometown. Time is marching on rapidly this autumn, and the changes around me seem particularly evident, in my own life and in the people and family around me. Growth, loss, change, and fall makes even the small actions of our human lives seem particularly relevant and poignant.

I hope you are all having a good month and looking forward to October. This is my favorite time of year and I can’t wait to hang up my Halloween decorations, light the candles, and make a big pot of soup. xo

labor day weekend and greasefest 2022

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I took an extra day off on Friday to make it a four-day weekend and it was a much needed break. The weather was evenly split – two days of very hot and humid sunshine, which broke sometime Saturday night, giving way to two days that were cooler and overcast. Friday was a kiddo day – she had the day off from school, so we picked up ice coffees and went shopping. We tried on clothes, and she spilled more tea about her first full week of high school, and we got overcaffeinated and then went home to order pizzas and watch Netflix.

Saturday was a friends day. Brandon’s family on his father’s side is of Hungarian descent, so his cousin and girlfriend and another friend came over that night for Szalonna. For those of you who are unfamiliar – this is Hungarian greasy bread, where you slowly roast chunks of pork jowl bacon over a fire and drip the grease on white bread. You eat the greasy bread with cut-up peppers and onions and sloppy dashes of Hungarian paprika. GreaseFest 2022! Unfortunately, it was super hot to be roasting pork over an open flame, although everyone had fun (“Everyone’s down for GreaseFest 2023 – we won the hearts and minds,” Brandon reported). Except maybe for the kiddo who is a newly minted vegetarian. I made her a huge pot of homemade macaroni and cheese and a big salad to have instead of greasy bread and ended up eating it with her because Szalonna really tested my reserves. And my intestines. The meat plus the heat made for a wakeful and somewhat nauseated Saturday evening…I was happy to wake up on Sunday to a cool breeze and grey skies.

After GreaseFest 2022, the remaining two days were mine. The kiddo went to her dad’s house on Sunday, and I went running both days. I finished It Girl, the newish Ruth Ware, which I really enjoyed. Brandon spent several hours on both days at the skate park with the Old Bros, and I did a thousand loads of laundry, cast on a knitted hat and watched the first two episodes of the new Lord of the Rings on Prime. I’m not sold on this yet, but I think if I dispel the thought that this is going to be like the books or the movies, I can get behind it. I have to view it almost as a complete standalone, a piece of entertainment that I can enjoy the way I enjoyed the Witcher, and leave it at that. It did give me a wistful sense of nostalgia for the story, though, so I found myself curled up on the couch on Sunday afternoon with Sarge and my battered copy of the Fellowship of the Ring, while Brandon made gouda burgers (apparently this weekend was also about consumption of fatty meats.

I’m hoping it’s a fairly light week back in the real world – there’s no home game this week, so no Marching Band tailgate and football game to prep for, and the kiddo is with her dad, so I’m going to try to focus on work and get ahead of the curve a bit (just one office day, though). I hope everyone had a rejuvenating weekend and that all’s well with you and yours. xo

thursday night lights

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As anticipated, last week was rough. I went into it without a lot of energy and my sense of stress and overwhelm already at a high level. The kiddo had a lot of activities that made for a couple of late nights for both of us, on top of a work schedule that was pushing me to take on challenges I didn’t particularly want or feel capable of. Everything just looked like a slog of responsibilities and nothing inspired any real joy or excitement in me.

When my kiddo is struggling, I try to impart on her that she’s not alone and doesn’t need to be. And that when it’s possible, the best way to deal with times of stress, overwhelm, and uncertainty is by leaning on people around you and pushing through. Make lists; tackle things one small step at a time. If you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl. Just keep moving forward any way you can and celebrating all of your positive actions, no matter how tiny they may seem to you. This is easy advice to give someone else and hard for me to take myself. When I struggle, I don’t want to lean on anyone and I don’t feel like anything I do is worthy of celebration – it all just feels inadequate. But this week, I DID take the small steps. Pot Roast helped keep me company on those late nights waiting up for the kiddo. I pushed through at work with lists and busy, productive mornings – even if I didn’t accomplish everything, I didn’t stay in bed with the covers over my head.

And I showed up at the first marching band tailgate for the first home football game with a big bowl of pasta salad and another newbie neighborhood mom in tow. She had texted me earlier that day telling me she was having a similar week of challenges at work, she was overwhelmed and tired, had never been to a tailgate and didn’t know what to bring; she didn’t even have camp chairs. “Don’t stress about it. Just bring juice boxes – I heard the kids love them – and I have two chairs, you can sit with me,” I said, without adding that her relying on me was like the blind leading the blind.

As an introvert, and a full time working mom, I frequently feel like I don’t need community or new friends, because they just end up being a drain on my already limited time and anyway, I get enough social stimulation at work. But sitting at that tailgate, hanging out with other marching band parents and petting dogs and swatting away bees while eating really unhealthy yummy food off paper plates balanced on our knees, I felt like it was the best time of the week. Even us newbie moms who felt like it was going to be just another challenge to ‘get through’ found ourselves relaxed and calm. No one needed anything from us except to be there and enjoy ourselves.

So I sat back and took a deep breath; I had another helping of someone’s macaroni and cheese, popped a juice box, and watched my kid fill her own plate and sit in a circle with the other band kids. The hum of laughter and parent conversation rose and fell around me, and later on, we all sat together on the bleachers and watched the halftime show under the Thursday night lights.

the post that wasn’t

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It’s entirely emblematic of recent days around here that I laboriously typed out a long post about our very busy weekend and WordPress ate it.

I was GOING to tell you all about band camp pickup on Friday night, the kiddo’s birthday celebrations over the weekend, and a houseworky Sunday, all of which made me feel like I didn’t actually get a weekend at all.

There was going to be some gripping content about the horrors of band camp laundry when band camp was subjected to downpours and leaky teepees (yep) as sleeping quarters. You were going to be thrilled by rumors of bed bugs in the boys teepee! And the story of the kid who rolled down the hill with a bass drum! Not to mention the star of our tale, an exhausted teenager who ate next to nothing all week because the food was terrible and not vegetarian, slept the whole way home but rose again the next day to celebrate her birthday properly!

hey sarge

I was also going to tell you that I picked up two books at the library and have been plowing through them but I wasn’t going to tell you much about them because I’m saving that for a dedicated book post.

There was also going to be a teaser about the week ahead which is another corker, full of work stuff and kiddo stuff. Including two band performances (one at the first home football game!) and FRESHMAN ORIENTATION (how is this even possible?!) And a teenager and a mom who are completely tired out and cranky and not ready at all for the challenges of what’s ahead! It’s like Frodo and Sam with the ring! Except not!

There was also some stuff about us making candles, but I am also going to have to save that for a dedicated post because it’s now late, I have to finish this, I have to schedule it to publish sometime tomorrow, and I have to go to bed because as you may have already guessed, I am emotionally unprepared for another week to roll around.

I hope you are all well and that your week starts out with a bang and not a whimper like mine. xoxo

recently (summer 2022)

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Summer 2022 – gradually coming out of a pandemic mindset, feeling more normal (although it’s a new normal).

We didn’t take a long vacation this year. The kiddo’s schedule was not the ‘mellow sleeping in until noon’ that we had expected – she starts high school in the fall, and had a long musical arts camp at Blue Lake, she took a high school credit course online, and her high school marching band had 2-3x weekly rehearsals and sectionals. So while it wasn’t the full onslaught of the spring track & field plus theater, it was still a lot of chauffeuring and sitting-in-the-car-knitting while I waited for her. Oddly, these are some of my favorite times and memories from this summer…I am valuing them because it’s not long now until she starts to drive, and will be more independent with her activities. (*sniff*)

Brandon’s sister came to visit for a weekend in July, and we enjoyed our downtown Founders’ Festival and the local 5k color run. Brandon has been at the skateboard park with the Old Bros club every weekend, and he & I went back to our fave restaurant Lucy & the Wolf in Northville for a date for the first time since the pandemic. I’ve been splitting my days between working from home, and going into the office 1-2x a week. I’ve read lots of books, listened to some great podcasts, run not as many miles as I’d like, finished a Night Owl cross-stitch, watched some great documentaries and Stranger Things 4 and spent an inordinate amount of time with the Tour de France (JONAS VINGEGAARD!!!!).

We did take a long weekend in New Orleans in June to celebrate school being out. It was ridiculously hot and in retrospect, a somewhat odd place to take a thirteen-year old. (Her first assessment is that it was dirty. LOL) But I love NOLA, the architecture and the history, and we tried to soak that in despite the 100+ degree swamp temps. We lounged in Jackson Square, went to the aquarium, went to Marie Laveau’s voodoo shop, had the kid’s fortune read, took an open top bus tour of the city (and got rained on), we ate tons of amazing food, and we ventured outside the city for a swamp tour and met Elvis Jr, an enormous alligator. We took a Dark History walking tour and learned all sorts of macabre tidbits, I found a knitting shop in the French Quarter (Quarter Stitch), and we visited a vintage book store (Crescent City Books). We fit a lot in during our time there.

Summer isn’t over yet but the kid has a week of band camp and then school starts before Labor Day on the 29th. It’s not long now. The only thing to do is enjoy it! We have a pool pass for the month of August, I’m looking forward to back to school shopping and the first home football game & band halftime show (which happens even before school starts), and lots of front porch knitting & reading with a glass of wine.

I hope everyone is enjoying their season. All the best from our house to yours. xo

recent reads – summer 2022

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Dipping my toe back into blogging (I’ve been absent from this space FOREVER) with a recap of some recent reads. It’s been a real mixed bag this summer of 2022, with some excellent and some meh – but fortunately no DNF (‘did not finish’) in the bunch (my Do Not Recommend selection came close, but provided too many belly laughs to entirely abandon). I’ve pulled out a few notables (for better or worse) for your perusal.

Recommend:

  • The Silence of the Girls and The Women of Troy, Pat Barker. If you like mythology and / or Greek ancient history, I cannot speak highly enough of these novels. The Silence of the Girls picks up the Trojan war when the Troy is under siege by the encamped Greek forces, and tells the story mostly from the perspective of Briseis, a young noblewoman. Achilles has sacked and burned her neighboring city, and taken her as his prize of battle. Ultimately, she plays a large role in the dispute between Agamemnon and Achilles, and the trajectory of the war. At any rate, while you do see the bones of the Iliad and recognize the so-called ‘heroes’ of the Trojan war – Odysseus, Achilles, Ajax – this story is told from the perspective of the women, who saw their brothers and husbands and male children murdered, were raped and abused and taken as property of war, and turned into slaves. They’re dark yet fascinating historical stories of women and I highly recommend both (Women of Troy picks up immediately after the fall of Troy and introduces characters such as Cassandra, Andromache, and Pyrrhus).
  • The Quarter Storm, Veronica Henry (not pictured above). First in a proposed series about a modern young Vodou practitioner solving a ritual murder in the French Quarter of New Orleans. We took a quick family trip to NOLA in June and reading this shortly afterwards was a great look back at the Quarter. It’s fast-paced and mixes a modern detective feel with highly atmospheric Vodou / Haitian American culture, history, and a healthy dose of supernatural vibes.
  • Becoming Odyssa: Adventures on the Appalachian Trail, Jennifer Pharr Davis. I don’t know that this was especially exciting or well-written but I absolutely love reading books about hiking the Appalachian Trail and if you do too, you’ll like it.

Meh:

  • The World Cannot Give, Tara Isabella Burton. I had high hopes for this one – a Sapphic dark academia thriller that was compared to Donna Tartt’s The Secret History. Unfortunately it just fell flat for me. I didn’t really like any of the characters and as a result, didn’t care what happened to them; nothing really propelled me through the story.
  • Thousand Steps, T. Jefferson Parker. Again, this had a ton of promise – a teenage boy living in Laguna Beach during the psychedelic summer of 1968 searches for his missing sister. I loved the vibe of the place and the time, and I liked the main character, a scrappy kid trying to keep things together, his brother in Vietnam, an absent dad and a spaced-out mom, but this one took a strange cult turn that I didn’t quite follow.
  • Anatomy: A Love Story, Dana Schwartz. It breaks my heart to put this in ‘Meh’ but it just didn’t do it for me. Again, on paper, it checked all the boxes – a strong female lead, a fascinating time and place (Edinburgh 1817) and a goth plot featuring archaic surgeries, resurrection men and corpses – but it just didn’t deliver all the goods. Don’t get me wrong, it was okay, and I absolutely love Dana Schwartz’s ‘Noble Blood’ podcast, but something was missing for me.

Do Not Recommend

  • The Last Goodnight, Kat Martin. I thought this was a straight mystery when I picked it up at the library (I was desperate) but it had a romantic subplot that was unintentionally hilarious. Lots of gross descriptions of the male lead (of course a millionaire rancher with a gorgeous horse farm, an extensive staff, and a rock-hard body that is constantly described in his cowboy boots, tight jeans, chaps and cowboy hats) checking out the female investigator’s hot curves and cascading hair whilst trying to ignore his throbbing manhood. I laughed my way through it and read several of the paragraphs to my family out loud until my adolescent daughter left the room gagging. If you like bodice rippers, heaving bosoms, almost-offensive sexual advances and descriptions of clothes confining turgid genitals, you may like this as well.

I hope everyone is having a good summer. I also hope this foray back into blogging will wake up my mojo and I’ll be back soon, either with more books or a general life update, but we shall see. Until then!

soggy tissues and sneezing on the cat

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Well friends, the last two weeks of April definitely challenged me. It was the most important time of year for my work goals & performance indicators, and it was (and continues to be) intense for the kiddo. Her schedule is full of daily track practice, weekly track meets, and theater rehearsals. All of which requires planning for transit, the appropriate nutrition, and very different sets of attire. This in addition to the usual schedule of work, remote and office days, school, regular appointments and meal planning. How do people have more than one active child and stay on top of it all?

After several hours last week at a particularly windy and frigid track meet – ankle deep in mud – I succumbed to the head cold that had been lingering in the wings waiting for a stage cue. The meet itself was well worth the discomfort- the kiddo’s stepmom and I were the only family members in attendance due to schedule conflicts. K and I get along well and I really enjoy her company and commitment to the kiddo. We watched the kid compete in shotput (where she placed first) and the 200-meter (where she took 4 seconds off her practice time). A successful outcome considering it was her first ever track meet!

And I always love that my goth kid is instantly recognizable in a sea of lookalike kids in hoodies and sweats. My kid will be the one warming up between events in a John Bender flannel, skeleton pajamas and a skull blanket.

My subsequent illness turned into a painful sinus infection and really kiboshed the weekend plans. I ran the kid to theater rehearsal and then went straight to Urgent Care. My Urgent Care is the best – I don’t even think they really care if I’m sick. I tell them “I have xx”, they take my blood pressure and look in my throat, prescribe horse pill antibiotics to my pharmacy of choice and I am merrily on my way. I spent the rest of the weekend in bed with Pot Roast. She is a constant nursemaid despite generally preferring Brandon and despising the explosive sneezing that has accompanied my illness. Maybe she just knew that in my weakened state, I could be easily dispatched with a soft paw on my jugular.

Other than sleeping, I plodded along with “Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone”, the most recent Diana Gabaldon Outlander contribution. 39% in and my quick review: so far it’s not as interesting as her earlier efforts. (Spoiler: someone HAS already been eaten by a bear and that was kind of a high point. And there are a lot of the usual interjections of “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ” from sassy Claire and sexy Jamie grinding out “Och Sassenach ye drive me mad” which make it a fine book for a sick day.)

I don’t have a finished object to show (I’m close!) so I’ll update you on my crafting with progress on my current cross-stitch.

Hope everyone is well and happy. I’m girding my loins for another intense week and hopefully less sneezing.

quick hello

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Two office days this week and they’re starting to feel more normal. It helps that I’ve been busy planning and preparing for our major corporate governance meetings, which take place this week & next. It’s one of my major work responsibilities and every spring for me is marked with seasonal allergies and board meetings.

Life is busy otherwise, too – the kiddo is in final theater rehearsals for her performances in mid-May, and she’s also running track. Michigan weather hasn’t really cooperated much with this and several practices and her first meet have been canceled due to snow, wind, rain, etc. But still a lot of driving and dropping off and picking up but it’s very exciting to see her trying and enjoying new things.

Brandon went to the Jack White show at the Masonic Temple in Detroit, which kicked off the Supply Chain Issues tour. I didn’t go, even though I love Jack White and the White Stripes – I just needed a quiet night at home with the cats. He went with a buddy and I was kicking myself the next morning when Brandon casually mentioned that Jack proposed to his girlfriend AND THEN MARRIED HER ONSTAGE. I did get a cool t-shirt, but I could have been a wedding guest!

Our Easter was quiet and traditional- one of Brandon’s friends came over, I made ham, green bean casserole, and scalloped potatoes, and there was lamb cake for dessert.

So that’s about it for now – I just wanted to give a quick hello from gloomy wet Michigan spring. Once my meetings are over, I have a couple of posts planned – one to review my wardrobe updates / capsule wardrobe for return to the office, and one crafty update (I hope to have one knitted FO and a fair bit of cross-stitch). Until then! xx