labor day 2023

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Labor Day weekend has been very hot and sunny in SE Michigan. As always, I look forward to the cooler days of fall, and am ready to put the summer behind me. I love Michigan summers and they have to be valued and spent wisely, but Labor Day feels like the real New Year. I’m prepared for shorter, darker days with a more rigid routine of school for the kid and work for me, with more office days per week.

The kiddo and I hit the outlets for some shopping on Friday, and having some new clothes made me conscious of the stagnant energy in my closets. So after a day of pounding the outlet pavements, I came home and filled six bags of donation clothes, shoes, bedding and linens. Goodbye dusty ankle boots that in pre-pandemic days, I wore to work with trousers that are now too small. Goodbye too-tight sweaters and summer tops that don’t spark joy. It made me super happy to hang up some nice new things in my closet and see the empty shelf space.

Brandon & I met up with his cousin for drinks at the brewery downtown. We went to the nursery where we bought a gorgeous new azure blue pottery planter for the patio, half off, and fall plants for the containers on the porch. We ordered a couple of full size skeletons to sit on the porch for Halloween and I pulled my basil plants and dried the leaves & flowers. I spent time on the porch reading until it just got too hot and we watched the Vuelta de Espana (one of the professional cycling grand tours). We talked about fall bucket lists that include trips to the orchard and the Renaissance Festival.

It’s going to be record breaking hot today. The porch and patio are scorching hot and the hummingbird feeder is attracting all of the angry bees who, unlike me, aren’t looking forward to the change of seasons. I don’t want to go to the crowded pool for the last day festivities and instead, am planning a day on the couch in pajamas, napping and reading, and getting ready for the week (and the fall) ahead.

dispatch from a disjointed july – tour de france, camp, and cologuard

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July is strange – the whole month feels like a weird suspension of normal routine, with the 4th holiday, many people in my office taking vacations, the kid at camp, and the Tour de France. This week felt particularly disjointed – bouts of torrential rain and oppressive humidity, two very productive and busy office days, and many hours spent with the Tour.

The Tour has been good this year except for my overwhelming disappointment that Mark Cavendish – an oldster at the ripe age of 38 – crashed out and broke his collarbone in what he’d declared was his last TDF before retirement. He was trying to break the record of the most stage wins (he’s currently tied at 34 with Eddie Merckx). It was a good lesson not to get too attached to any one rider or team because it’s a fairly brutal sport and you can love someone and they can get knocked out in a millisecond and then you still have endless stages ahead of you to feel disappointed. In addition to the 4-5 hours a day viewing the stages, we also spend another 1-2 hours listening to Lance Armstrong’s podcast The Move to analyze each stage. Yes, I know that Lance is a douche but since it’s very difficult to find any mainstream news coverage of the Tour, my July is filled with his mellifluous boasting and I’ve come to enjoy it heartily.

In other news this week – solid office days (office days have become a vital part of my week and although I enjoy my work from home days, I’m finding that I need the anchoring of a couple in-person days, too), fresh salads from the new office lunch delivery service, a couple of exceptionally humid morning / lunchtime runs on work from home days, and doing my first Cologuard. This may be TMI but you know, health matters. It feels inappropriate to poop in a jar and have to take the conspicuous box to the UPS store (they could at least give you an anonymous box) to mail it somewhere – but that’s life these days. And dear God, those Cologuard people will run you to the ends of the freaking earth to get that jar back. I think I got at least twenty calls, emails, and texts from that happy little toilet so I was relieved to be able to dump it on the UPS counter and be done with the damn thing.

The kid has been at camp with no phone. She’s written a few letters, and I purchase email credits so I can send her an email every day that she’s gone. In one of her letters, she described writing snail mail letters to me like ‘screaming into a void and not getting any answer back’ and that’s how I feel about the daily emails I send her, too. So imagine my surprise when she convinced her unit director to let her call me on Thursday afternoon because she was feeling a smidge homesick and just wanted to hear my voice. My kiddo has always been brave, extroverted, social, and the type who from very early on didn’t want to hold my hand when I walked her into school, so, in the summer she turns 15, for her to want to write me letters from camp and call me just to hear my voice – well, that is quite gratifying for me.

I’m reading ‘A Deadly Education’ by Naomi Novik, which is sort of a violent and edgy Hogwarts school tale mixed with a bit of ‘Hunger Games’ and I’m really liking it so far. It’s part of a trilogy and I picked it up from the library after seeing the most recent one in a bookstore in Cincinnati. I am hoping the weekend will be full of some front porch reading and wine drinking, although Sunday will be a completely lost day as I travel 6+ hours round trip to fetch the kid from camp. It’s worth it – I can’t wait to hug her – and July rolls on.

summer is fleeting

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Living in Michigan, summers are valuable and fleeting. We can reliably count on a solid 3 months of good weather – some years more, some years less – and that good weather comes after months of cold. I love autumn, and the time between Halloween and Christmas, when hygge coziness is in full effect. I despise January thru early April, but understand that maybe I wouldn’t love summer as much as I do without the contrasting months of cold and dark.

Summertime means long days, light until well after 9pm. It means hearing the deep tones of the wind chimes through windows open to catch an occasional breeze. It means gaining an extra room in our house, because we spend so much time on the front porch, with snacks, books, evening drinks, morning coffees, my knitting. Saying hello to neighbors passing by with kids in strollers or walking their dogs.

It means morning running and coming home sweaty to putter around with the hose, watering my flowers and filling the bird bath and then sitting for awhile in the sunshine to cool down.

It means the Tour de France! 21 stages of complete absorption in the world of cycling, several hours a day of watching and more hours spent listening to the podcasts analyzing each stage.

It means long drives to the west side of the state, busy roads becoming more rural and enclosed with greenery, to take the kid to her twelve-day music and art camp and then pick her up. Sitting in the shell with the sun on my neck on that final Sunday listening to the kids perform their musical selections (usually with sock knitting on my lap).

Summer means knowing that it is a season that won’t last and doing everything you can to soak up that sunshine and heat and store it in your bones so you have no regrets when the darkness returns.

cinci recap + july goals

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Happy July! The last few days have been rife with terrible air quality from the Canadian wildfires, rage and disappointment at our ‘pay for play’ SCOTUS, and long days thanks to the kid’s Drivers’ Ed. But we are now in July and I have goals.

Before I get into that, though, when we last spoke, I was getting ready to head to Cincinnati with my daughter, her friends, and our mom troop. Unfortunately, my emotional battery did not hold its charge very well and I spent the first ~24 hours with a nervous stomach. We AirBNB’d a massive Victorian in the historic Walnut Hills neighborhood, which promised two floors and sleeping space for 22. We gave the girls the top floor, with their own kitchenette, bathroom, and living room, and the moms bunked on the floor below them. The house may have slept 22 but only if you included couches and multiple folks per bed. This, my friends, is not something I’d be capable of, so I guiltily scoped out a terrible futon in the turret room where I could at least pull a curtain and be alone.

The girls had an absolute blast and between my sick stomach and the endless stairs to haul luggage, food, water, and cooking supplies up to our roost, I lost 4.2 pounds.

Despite the constant threat of storms, we managed to get the girls to Kings’ Island, which is a favorite for my little family since Brandon worked there as a teenager. It was a perfect day – the park was not crowded and the kids didn’t have to wait longer than 25 minutes for any ride. The kiddo has been there before so she played what she called ‘airport dad’ with her friends and gave them the deluxe tour. Even the girls who weren’t too hyped about roller coasters became converts and we closed the park down at 10 with fireworks and the light show. The moms were all impressed with KI – it’s clean and compact with a high concentration of fun coasters and a charming little ‘Main Street’ with fountains, cafe tables under umbrellas, and sweets and souvenir shops under the shade of the ‘Eiffel Tower’. And something about an amusement park in summertime – even the moms got into a lighthearted, almost childlike state – dancing with Snoopy, buying fudge and candy apples, and one of the moms even buying a stuffed Bob Ross doll.

Also among the girl goals was ‘ shopping in cute outfits’ (hahaha – I love teenagers) so the next day, after one of the girls made waffles, we took them to the mall and they spent major bank at Starbucks, Sephora and Ulta. By all measures, a successful trip.

The Canadian wildfires created major air quality issues for us last week, which seem to be diminishing now. The kiddo finished up Drivers’ Ed and hopefully, we can pick up her permit before she heads off for 12 days at Blue Lake Fine Arts camp.

Altogether, June was a bit of a bust in terms of my goals – I didn’t get as many running miles in, or stay in my healthy eating zone for as much as I’d have liked. July will hopefully be better, less busy with the kid at camp, so my goals are:

  • 50 running miles;
  • Healthy eating zone 15 days;
  • 10-minute daily yoga sessions at least 4x / week;
  • 10-minute daily knitting at least 4x / week.

I decided to pick up yoga again a couple of months ago when I temporarily lost my running mojo. I made it to several classes at my local studio. And I was inspired by one of my fellow mom tribe in Cinci, who brought her travel mat and did quick morning yoga videos every day we were there. Even if I can’t get to the studio for a full class, I can certainly fit in a 10-minute daily session several times a week. And since July is Tour de France month, wherein Brandon and I are absorbed in several hours of tour coverage every day, I can easily hit those knitting goals.

I hope everyone is looking forward to a safe and healthy 4th. I am working today, but will be off tomorrow for the holiday and Wednesday for kiddo camp dropoff, which is a 6-hour round trip. Be well and talk soon.

spring into summer

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I always have the best intentions to regularly update this space, and then I finally get around to writing and look back and realize I haven’t been here since March.

So what have I been up to since then? All the things I usually am. The kiddo has gone from her school year activities of band, soccer, and theater to her summer activities of Driver’s Ed (how??), band (always band), and art camp. Work has been busy and I have been active with running (sort of), knitting (probably need a whole post about that), and Weight Watchers. I have been pretty consistently on the WW app yet have only lost about 5 lbs in 2 months…menopause is a bitch.

We saw ‘Six’ at the Fisher, the kiddo had a spectacular run in ‘Hello Dolly’, we got a bond at the local pool club, and I got braces.

And I turned 50.

I started a whole solipsistic post about that and didn’t finish it (you’re welcome). I know age is just a number, but I really do feel a sea change about this particular number. I know I can’t just entirely retire in this decade, but I have been able to begin the process of evaluating where I am investing my time and energy and more importantly, why. During this decade, I hope to be more thoughtful about that and begin to swing away from doing things for other people and more for myself. Less because I ‘have’ to and more because I ‘want’ to. And when that’s not possible, to give myself grace in how I approach those things. For example – can I quit my job? No. Do I sometimes dream about retirement? Yes. But when I stop and think about it – I really like my job and even in retirement I don’t plan on giving up work altogether unless I’m forced to. So is it my job itself that I dream of giving up, or the mental stress and pressure I put on myself ABOUT my job that I can reconsider? It’s more about shifting the narrative about what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I work because I love being able to financially support myself, my home, and my daughter. I work because I really love the people I work with and am interested in the job I do. I GET to work. However, I also love who I am without work. I have no interest in being promoted, making more money, hustling, changing jobs, or advancing myself in any way other than showing up and doing a solid, ethical job at what I’m responsible for – but putting work on an equal footing with my family, my home, and MYSELF. Not letting it usurp other things I love and need, and take up more space than it should – and this decade, that is enough.

Same with my health. Would I love to lose 20 lbs and be the same weight I was ten years ago? Yep. Am I willing to put the work into doing that? Probably not. Am I tracking and using WW just for the weight loss and how I look? No. I feel better when I consider what I am putting into my body and have goals about the kind of foods I am eating, about drinking less wine, drinking more water. And running. Would I love to set a half-marathon PR that crushes what I could do ten years ago? Yes, but I don’t run because I am trying to do that (or even think that’s really possible). I am not doing these things to flog myself into being something I’m not. I run because I feel better when I move my body and I know that these things give me a greater ability to grow old gracefully in a healthy and happy way.

So those are the big things. In other news, it’s summertime here in SE MI and I’m looking forward to a relaxing evening at home with Brandon and then a busier day tomorrow. The Girl Scout troop (yes my kiddo and her friends are still hanging in there with Girl Scouts) and accompanying mom troop are all headed to Cincinnati on Sunday for a couple of days hanging out in a sprawling, historic AirBNB Victorian, cooking for each other, shopping, eating, and visiting King’s Island. Ten years ago the thought of these 2-3 days would have given me hives. Now – I’ve known these women since our kids were in second grade and they’re my mom tribe. They’re the women I text when I have questions about marching band or something happening at the high school. We are who we turn to when the school is on lockdown because of a threat investigation (which has happened no fewer than 8 times this year). So while this probably isn’t the ideal way I would spend my vacation days, I no longer have any anxiety about it – I’ll load up my books and knitting and they’ll know that I’ll be the first to go to bed and no one cares.

I do have plans for a knitting post and a Favorite Things post – I have lots of little fun conspicuous consumption items that I’ve found and have been enjoying. Whether those posts come in June, July, August or beyond – I make no promises. But be well in the meantime!

socializing, and ruminations on an extraction

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obligatory selfies from weekend out on the town

I’ve been overcommitted this week and am on the downhill slide to a truly reclusive weekend. Unfortunately, it’s St. Patrick’s day, and by midday, my beau will be home with two of his friends to put food coloring in beer before heading downtown to the pub to rub shoulders with tipsy suburbanites doing shots and bellowing Irish ditties. This is not my jam but I’m happy to watch him in full extrovert mode; the only Irish thing I will be doing today is executing the ‘Irish goodbye’ after a few minutes of obligatory socializing and going back upstairs to my computer and classical radio.

Last weekend we met up with friends of ours at Harbor House in Detroit for dinner and then headed over to the Fillmore to see Sarah Silverman. She rocked and best of all, her set was over by like 9pm so even with a quick drink afterwards at Cafe d’Mongo, our fave hole in the wall, we were home relatively early. Which was good because we’ve had something going on every day this week – soccer tryouts for the kiddo as well as a soccer parent meeting, a band concert for her, and various household tasks. I had a haircut, my Outback serviced in advance of our road trip to Virginia in a couple of weeks, and – biggest of all – had my tooth pulled to get ready for my orthodontics.

Re. the tooth pulling, my memory of such things from being a teenage dirtbag in braces did not adequately prepare me for the actual procedure. I don’t remember feeling particularly crummy afterwards but it WAS (ahem) 36 years ago so perhaps things have blurred around the edges. Also, my grandpa was my dentist, and I worked at his office starting from the age of 14 through summers in college. I had an intimate familiarity with the procedure, and when I was a bit older, I even assisted with extractions. I’m not sure the employment bureau or whichever office is in charge of such things would approve of a 16-year old handing massive forceps over and watching extractions and root canals and carting away the bloody detritus, but it gave me a healthy indifference to any sort of dental procedure and generally no fear where such things were concerned.

Now, decades later, even though my current non-grandpa dentist is gentle and fantastic, it was a really unpleasant experience, aggressive, bloody, and terrifying. I thought I had a high pain tolerance but I came home drenched in cold sweat. The first few hours weren’t bad but once the anesthetic wore off – and ever since – I’ve been a bit of a wreck. I slept for several hours the day of the extraction and the day after. I’m terrified of the mythical and horrible dry socket and today – 48 hours after the procedure – the swelling is at its worst and the stitches are pulling. The pain is just barely kept in check with a Motrin / Tylenol cocktail every 4 hours. (I also remember getting more high-powered pain meds as a teenager – at LEAST Tylenol 3.) I’m only eating soft foods like eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, and soup, taking Vitamin C and trying to rinse with warm salt water, all the recommended things, but I’m still in a lot of discomfort and finding it hard to focus on anything other than that. I feel like an elderly person chewing delicately on one side of my mouth and I’m astonished at the thought of people in the ‘old days’ who went in to their dentists and asked for ALL their teeth to just be pulled so they could get dentures. (I think this may have even been something one of my ancestral relatives did!) They must have just been constantly drunk back then.

At any rate, I’m hoping that by tomorrow things will be feeling less miserable and I can get back to some light exercise and more regular eating.

Hoping all of you are enjoying your Friday and looking forward to either a fantastic weekend of socializing or a quiet weekend of peace and rest (or a mix of both). Pray for my poor aching tooth socket if you would. xo

winds and clouds and changing skies

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It’s March and 2023 already feels pretty action packed. Our power grid in suburban Elysia is always a matter of heated local commentary and it’s been tested severely over the past couple of weeks. An ice storm knocked out about 500,000 households two weeks ago, and just as the vast majority of those folks were coming back online, we got hit with an unusually intense snowfall on Friday night that delivered another wallop. The snow started showering down at about 3:30 Friday afternoon – it was heavy and wet, and came down so fast that it took more trees, branches, and power lines with it. We made it all the way through our Friday night movie selection (“The ‘Burbs” which Brandon had never seen) and within seconds of the end credits, we heard the familiar sound of blowing transformers and the lights went out. I’ve lived in Michigan almost all my life and I’ve never experienced thunder snow and lightning before. It was amazing and terrifying. Luckily, I had the foresight to blow up our air mattress so we could sleep downstairs near the woodstove, so we were fairly comfortable, but still. It’s a matter of convenience. The rest of the weekend felt like a wash – power going off and on until Sunday mid-afternoon. When it was finally restored, we could start laundry, meal plan for the week ahead, restock the fridge, etc. Pretty much everyone in the neighborhood is just pissed and done with the fact that our power goes out whenever someone sneezes. There will be a long line of generator customers (including us) once tax refund checks are delivered.

Anyway – it’s March and I have some goals!

Firstly – health and self-image – I am getting my teeth fixed. I resisted for a long time but my dentist told me before the holidays that my bite has become so bad that my teeth are actually loose on top and chipping on the bottom. I had braces as a kid, but I didn’t wear my retainers so….cautionary tale. I went in for an ortho consult last week and unfortunately, Invisalign is not an option…I need an extraction to relieve overcrowding and then it’s good old-fashioned brackets and bands for me. Starting soon.

Also in the health and self-image category – I’m back on Weight Watchers. While I’m all about body positivity, and embracing that my peri-menopausal body at 49 and 8 months is never going to look like it did before (and that’s okay) – I would really like to feel a bit better in my clothes than I do currently. I am short, and I gain weight around my belly and as a result I can just look barrel-shaped which makes finding pants that fit almost impossible. So another March goal is tracking and doing better with my food choices and getting back into some of my work pants. It’s also somewhat true that once I do one positive thing for my overall health and well-being (see ortho above) then I feel inspired to do other things. I spontaneously re-upped Weight Watchers a few hours after my ortho consult.

Professional goals – Although Widget Central has been fairly lax about hybrid schedule and working from home, I’m conscious that these things are much about perception, too, so in March I will try to be more faithful to 2-3 days a week in the physical office building. I’ve been averaging about 1 office day a week since January. I like work from home, but I also don’t mind time in the office, so this shouldn’t be a major problem for me – the biggest thing is just planning to pack my lunch and snacks (which should also be good because – see above with weight issues).

Miscellaneous goals include keeping up with my 2023 reading challenge, running at least 20 miles, blogging once a week and finishing at least 1 knitting project. I’ll check in on these things at the beginning of April, hopefully in a bit more organized format.

Not really a goal here, but at the end of the month, for the kiddo’s Spring Break, we’ll be taking a trip to Williamsburg, VA – she’s going to be 15 this summer so she has probably already aged out of the ‘educational trip with parents’ bracket, but I still think it will be cool for her to see Williamsburg and Jamestown, the weather should be mild and pleasant, the hotel has an indoor pool and we’ll eat some nice meals. I’m currently trying to decide whether to drive our Subaru Outback (the inexpensive route) or rent a more comfy minivan for the 20ish hour (round trip) drive.

And of course there are the usual tasks of getting taxes done (tomorrow), running the kiddo around to theater rehearsals (Hello, Dolly! in May! she plays the judge!) and marching band and music lessons and scheduling her summer music camp and driver’s education class in June (!!).

And that’s our March.

The title of my post is from William C. Bryant: “The stormy March has come at last, With winds and clouds and changing skies; I hear the rushing of the blast That through the snowy valley flies.”

day in detroit

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Eastern Market Antiques

For her 50th, my bestie’s daughters arranged a weekend getaway for us. We started out with facials at Eden Esthetics. 10/10 would recommend. We left with soft, glass-like skin and immediately hoofed it to Eastern Market. We were late for the market but had a light lunch and tea and checked out Eastern Market Antiques. Bestie found a fantastic vintage sleeveless house dress in grey and mustard and a pair of fringed grey moccasin boots.

We stayed in northern Detroit, at a loft in Milwaukee Junction, near the railroad junction of the Grand Trunk Western’s predecessors. It’s a heavily industrialized area and home to many 1920’s-era automotive factories, including the Ford factory where the first Model T was built. Now, some of those abandoned factories are being repurposed as lofts and eclectic galleries and shops. Our loft was an interesting factory space, under a graffiti-blazed overpass and surrounded by what looked like actual blight. It was rugged but hip. The radiators churned and kept the place at an almost unhealthy temperature, we could hear just about everything through the walls – and in Detroit that’s not a great thing – and the freight trains rumbled through at odd hours. As is typical in Detroit, Milwaukee Junction felt massive and empty, looming factory spaces and broken streets, devoid of cars or pedestrians, the population underground and nocturnal. Feral nature has taken over for decades and across the parking lot, under a rusted and unused water tower, a small wetland full of swaying reeds and egrets.

Brandon met us for dinner at San Morello downtown in the Shinola hotel. We split several dishes including a fantastic small pizza and gnocchi with truffles and a bottle of Syrah. We lingered at the Queens Bar next door before ending the night singing “Crocodile Rock” (Bestie’s husband the next day: “Wait, you were ‘Crocodile Rock’ drunk?!?”) with the live band at Cafe D’Mongo’s Speakeasy. This is one of the best little bars in Detroit, where you end up friends with everyone.

I came home on Sunday with a gastro bug that was unrelated to the evening festivities and spent an otherwise enjoyable day relaxing before the Super Bowl. Def sad to see the Eagles lose but a great game regardless and with my social obligations out of the way, I can revel in complete earned introversion for awhile!

Quick selfie at Queens Bar. I had to, I was wearing makeup for a change.

sentence per picture

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Gifts from Brandon’s recent trip. ♥️

Daily Tarot card pulls and this Queen has come up for me twice in two weeks.

Obligatory cute cat pic starring Emmett.

My work pants are perilously close to not fitting me; thinking about these “Dream Pants” but afraid I’ll look like a chimney sweep in them.

Windy, warm, and wet for Michigan February.

Finished the Road Trippin’ hat in time for my bestie’s 50th birthday celebration this weekend – we have an AirBnB, champagne, facial and dinner reservations, and an itinerary of vintage and antique stores to explore.

TGIF! xo

a quick friday hello

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It’s just a quick Friday hello from the depths of the Michigan February refrigerator. We’ve entered the time of the winter season that’s the hardest for me. The cold has turned dry and grinding (several three-cat nights and single-digit mornings). Running outside is dangerous because of the slick conditions so the exercise I get is indoors and unsatisfactory. In summary I am bloated, tired, pale and pimply.

Every morning on the school run, though, the sunrise is more vivid, streaks of blue and pink and gold, over the steeple of the Catholic church on the hill. We are moving back towards the light. I made it into the office twice this week and my biggest battle has been the high school after-school pickup line. It’s always an exercise in kamikaze driving, cutting each other off and angling for a spot, minivans on two wheels and SUV’s making questionable judgments. But if that’s the worst of my week, then I know my week is going pretty well.