musing on spring

The calendar says spring and although the weather is mild, I am suspicious. We’ve gotten some of our most punishing weather in March. The worst, probably, came a few years ago, when we had a windstorm that uprooted the neighbor’s massive pine and left me without power for three days – three days in which the temperatures plummeted to the single digits.

The spring holidays are my least favorite. They seem gaudy and false. There is a deep aura of melancholy to them. Even more since my father passed away in March, celebrations in the spring feel hollow when the world is working so hard to bloom again. In comparison, the autumnal holidays Halloween and Thanksgiving feel so much more festive. They come as a welcome relief, the end of another year. We celebrate the going of the light, put our masks on to scare death, we harvest and we gather with loved ones in the comfort of our homes to eat and give thanks. It’s always been easier for me to celebrate the culmination of a hard effort than the commencement of one. And spring always feels like a hard beginning, much harder than the dwindling season into winter.

sunday breakfast

Sundays have never been my favorite day but in January – o January, my old nemesis – they took on an even gloomier cast. With Brandon working in Iowa, Sundays feel even worse knowing that on Monday morning he’ll pack up and be gone. Yes, I know he will be home on Friday, but spending weeks apart from your partner can be lonely and hard even though I know that he loves his job and that I’m perfectly capable and independent enough to run my life on my own. I just miss him.

In January we started doing Sunday breakfast and it’s sticking around. We make pancakes, some with chocolate chips and some without, have eggs and a breakfast meat, drink coffee and enjoy butter pecan flavored syrup. The kid wakes up before noon to join us and it ends up being the shared meal of the week. We linger at the table for awhile and enjoy the carbohydrate sweetness of family togetherness before the week starts all over again.