Category Archives: Work

a calm and sunny day + life and bathroom update

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Happy Friday friends. I worked from home today for the first time all week and it was – just what I needed. I am coming off of a 2-week period of busyness at work, with parenting, and a bathroom renovation and so a calm, sunny day in my home office, with only ONE MEETING, getting through emails and clearing my to-do list with sleeping cats around me and a classic jazz playlist felt like a luxury. I love the feeling of being able to shut down my computer on a Friday feeling caught up, with pins in the things I need to pick back up on Monday. It makes me feel like I’ve earned my weekend and if work stress crops up, I can remind myself that I have things in order and even if they’re not finished, I have a plan to get them there and, in the meantime, my only job is to relax and feel at ease with my down time.

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 The bathroom reno is going well and I am going to love the new space. Brandon picked out some really beautiful tile, which is all in place, and the shower is done! But the two weeks leading up to this were loud and dusty, with a marked lack of privacy. Although Brandon and his cousin Tony were able to do all of the demo work, after that we had tradesmen in doing drywall and tile-setting and often working until into the evening. Thankfully, that is at an end as of yesterday. We’re still all sharing the kid’s bathroom as there is more work to do – painting, vanity, mirror, lighting, plumbing – but everything has gone on schedule and very smoothly thanks to Brandon’s hard work (and his cousin’s support) and I feel like we are over the hump. My only disappointment is that the art tile I purchased from Pewabic in Detroit just isn’t going to go with the shower tile. I thought it was going to complement the floor, but it just misses being complementary and ends up clashing. There was no time to pick out another one. I’m sad that we won’t get our extra special Detroit touch, but sometimes things just work out that way and I’m sure we can find a place for the tile somewhere else.  

The other big news – I have a new boss at work and I could not be happier about that. For the past six months, we have been very short-staffed and while we “kept the lights on” (which was what I committed to do when my prior boss left), it is always frustrating to feel as though I am being slammed left and right, only able to do triage and firefighting and nothing is done as well or as thoroughly as I’d like it to be. This week was the light at the end of the tunnel, but no less frantic. We had meetings with overseas colleagues late Monday night, early Wednesday morning, I had four office days and the nights that we didn’t have calls, I had the kid’s soccer games and EMT training to rush off to (EMT training is always a fun time, though – I got to volunteer to be an accident victim that the kids extricated from a vehicle and loaded into an ambulance!). This is a lot for an introvert like me so I warned Brandon that this weekend I will be in full goblin mode. I have knitting (Wolop advent cowl, and I just cast on the Perfect Knit T-shirt by Lion), I’m halfway through ‘Wild and Wicked Things’ by Francesca May and have ‘Weyward’ by Emilia Hart on my Kindle. I want to water my plants and feed the birds and get a vanilla latte tomorrow morning and hang out in the sunshine with a cat or two and have nothing else to do besides that. The kiddo is off on a snowboarding trip with her dad for her Spring Break so I told Brandon that Saturday night is date night, even if we just get takeout and eat it in bed with a nice bottle of Chianti or Shiraz and episodes of ‘White Lotus’.

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we’re all loving watching the Friends of Big Bear Valley eagle nest cam

I hope you are all doing well and looking forward to whatever brings you joy, peace, and inspiration this weekend!

the crazy between-time

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Thanksgiving came and went and we are plunged into that crazy time-between.

It was a busy week. Work is always hectic at this time of year. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here, but my wonderful manager left Widget Central* in September and since then, I’ve been wearing many hats. As the “legacy” member of our regional team, despite my lack of interest in working more, being recognized or promoted, or “getting to the next level”, I’ve organically been slotted into a de facto leadership role. It’s not super comfortable for me but I’ve been in the department for sufficient time to know how certain things should go. I can keep the lights on and provide some stability for my younger team members from Japan, Mexico, and Brazil for the time being. This week was all about intense negotiations to conclude a major contract, researching some new opportunities that bear some potential risk, responding to many inquiries and requests, monthly reports, redlining new contracts and preparing for and presenting at a Committee meeting. My work and calls ended well after 5 yesterday. I have 9 working days left this year although I’m sure there will be emails and calls while I’m technically on vacation and that’s okay if it makes coming back in January less onerous.

The boy cats had vet appointments (Emmett has a mild ear infection and has to have a dental cleaning and possible extraction in January) and on Thursday night I drove the kiddo and another young lady from our neighborhood to their EMS Cadet training. The kiddo has been very locked in to her schoolwork this year and has developed a strong interest in the medical field. She is participating in HOSA (an extracurricular organization for health care students). And the EMS Cadets are a fairly intense bimonthly training in which they learn the ins and outs of emergency medical care. Next year they will actually be doing ride-alongs with Superior Ambulance, although not in Detroit proper. She was named Sergeant of her Cadet class this week and issued her fluorescent orange polo, stethoscope, flashlight and blood pressure cuff and I almost died of pride right there on the spot.

I don’t mind taking her to the trainings because I log onto my computer, settle into the lounge, get an extra two hours of uninterrupted evening work done, and the EMS staff has a popcorn machine and they always make fresh hot popcorn for us…they are funny and welcoming folks.

Now on Saturday, the weather in SE Michigan is still cold and blustery. Brandon put up the Christmas tree last night and although tonight is the town holiday parade and tree lighting at the Governor’s mansion, we are all exhausted. The kiddo has been at a HOSA competition all day after a late night indoor soccer game last night. Brandon is on the couch sleeping in front of football and I’m just as happy to sit on the couch in the back room in front of the fire and watch Vlogmasses on YouTube. The cats have forgiven us for the vet visit and I am trying to finish knitting a pair of mittens to donate to Mittens for Detroit.

Wherever you are, I hope you are happy and healthy and surrounded by kindness and good people. xoxo

*Annual disclaimer that workplace name has been changed for general anonymity.

spring into summer

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I always have the best intentions to regularly update this space, and then I finally get around to writing and look back and realize I haven’t been here since March.

So what have I been up to since then? All the things I usually am. The kiddo has gone from her school year activities of band, soccer, and theater to her summer activities of Driver’s Ed (how??), band (always band), and art camp. Work has been busy and I have been active with running (sort of), knitting (probably need a whole post about that), and Weight Watchers. I have been pretty consistently on the WW app yet have only lost about 5 lbs in 2 months…menopause is a bitch.

We saw ‘Six’ at the Fisher, the kiddo had a spectacular run in ‘Hello Dolly’, we got a bond at the local pool club, and I got braces.

And I turned 50.

I started a whole solipsistic post about that and didn’t finish it (you’re welcome). I know age is just a number, but I really do feel a sea change about this particular number. I know I can’t just entirely retire in this decade, but I have been able to begin the process of evaluating where I am investing my time and energy and more importantly, why. During this decade, I hope to be more thoughtful about that and begin to swing away from doing things for other people and more for myself. Less because I ‘have’ to and more because I ‘want’ to. And when that’s not possible, to give myself grace in how I approach those things. For example – can I quit my job? No. Do I sometimes dream about retirement? Yes. But when I stop and think about it – I really like my job and even in retirement I don’t plan on giving up work altogether unless I’m forced to. So is it my job itself that I dream of giving up, or the mental stress and pressure I put on myself ABOUT my job that I can reconsider? It’s more about shifting the narrative about what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I work because I love being able to financially support myself, my home, and my daughter. I work because I really love the people I work with and am interested in the job I do. I GET to work. However, I also love who I am without work. I have no interest in being promoted, making more money, hustling, changing jobs, or advancing myself in any way other than showing up and doing a solid, ethical job at what I’m responsible for – but putting work on an equal footing with my family, my home, and MYSELF. Not letting it usurp other things I love and need, and take up more space than it should – and this decade, that is enough.

Same with my health. Would I love to lose 20 lbs and be the same weight I was ten years ago? Yep. Am I willing to put the work into doing that? Probably not. Am I tracking and using WW just for the weight loss and how I look? No. I feel better when I consider what I am putting into my body and have goals about the kind of foods I am eating, about drinking less wine, drinking more water. And running. Would I love to set a half-marathon PR that crushes what I could do ten years ago? Yes, but I don’t run because I am trying to do that (or even think that’s really possible). I am not doing these things to flog myself into being something I’m not. I run because I feel better when I move my body and I know that these things give me a greater ability to grow old gracefully in a healthy and happy way.

So those are the big things. In other news, it’s summertime here in SE MI and I’m looking forward to a relaxing evening at home with Brandon and then a busier day tomorrow. The Girl Scout troop (yes my kiddo and her friends are still hanging in there with Girl Scouts) and accompanying mom troop are all headed to Cincinnati on Sunday for a couple of days hanging out in a sprawling, historic AirBNB Victorian, cooking for each other, shopping, eating, and visiting King’s Island. Ten years ago the thought of these 2-3 days would have given me hives. Now – I’ve known these women since our kids were in second grade and they’re my mom tribe. They’re the women I text when I have questions about marching band or something happening at the high school. We are who we turn to when the school is on lockdown because of a threat investigation (which has happened no fewer than 8 times this year). So while this probably isn’t the ideal way I would spend my vacation days, I no longer have any anxiety about it – I’ll load up my books and knitting and they’ll know that I’ll be the first to go to bed and no one cares.

I do have plans for a knitting post and a Favorite Things post – I have lots of little fun conspicuous consumption items that I’ve found and have been enjoying. Whether those posts come in June, July, August or beyond – I make no promises. But be well in the meantime!

quick hello

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Two office days this week and they’re starting to feel more normal. It helps that I’ve been busy planning and preparing for our major corporate governance meetings, which take place this week & next. It’s one of my major work responsibilities and every spring for me is marked with seasonal allergies and board meetings.

Life is busy otherwise, too – the kiddo is in final theater rehearsals for her performances in mid-May, and she’s also running track. Michigan weather hasn’t really cooperated much with this and several practices and her first meet have been canceled due to snow, wind, rain, etc. But still a lot of driving and dropping off and picking up but it’s very exciting to see her trying and enjoying new things.

Brandon went to the Jack White show at the Masonic Temple in Detroit, which kicked off the Supply Chain Issues tour. I didn’t go, even though I love Jack White and the White Stripes – I just needed a quiet night at home with the cats. He went with a buddy and I was kicking myself the next morning when Brandon casually mentioned that Jack proposed to his girlfriend AND THEN MARRIED HER ONSTAGE. I did get a cool t-shirt, but I could have been a wedding guest!

Our Easter was quiet and traditional- one of Brandon’s friends came over, I made ham, green bean casserole, and scalloped potatoes, and there was lamb cake for dessert.

So that’s about it for now – I just wanted to give a quick hello from gloomy wet Michigan spring. Once my meetings are over, I have a couple of posts planned – one to review my wardrobe updates / capsule wardrobe for return to the office, and one crafty update (I hope to have one knitted FO and a fair bit of cross-stitch). Until then! xx

and we’re back

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Widget Central (workplace name has been changed to protect the innocent;) ) tried to bring its employees back last July – but then omicron. So we went back home. Now, like many places, we are trying again and this time it feels real. We’re hybrid to start, so I’m doing a couple days a week for now and will see how that goes.

So this week I did my first two days back and it was – okay. The commute wasn’t quite so bad as it has been in years past and it actually felt good to be out of the house. I bought a new Fjallraven laptop backpack. I packed in my meals and snacks, water and coffee. I replaced the 2-year old toothbrush and toothpaste I keep in my office desk drawer. I evaluated my somewhat dusty work wardrobe (feeling super relieved that despite a weight gain, everything pretty much still fit) and realized I need to make serious (purging) changes as my entire aesthetic has changed. I want a basic uniform that I can go to without thinking. Simple, classic, nothing tight or restrictive or high-heeled. We’re allowed to wear jeans but I’d prefer to look a bit more professional even if it’s just black pants with a basic sweater or cardi.

It took a bit of getting used to – my office feels dark, and it was initially distracting to hear people’s conversations. Still, I was productive, had several in-person meetings, gave my first in-person presentation in 2 years, found myself smiling hard when I saw someone I hadn’t seen in a long time, and it was sort of like riding a bike. It felt like I hadn’t been away. And I felt my mental health brighten perceptibly.

I’m a bit “ride or die” when it comes to my workplace. I have misgivings about going back full time but in the end, if they tell me that’s in the cards, I will go back without a squeak. When the situation with Covid was scary and unknown, Widget Central sent us all home, let us protect ourselves and our families, and I never had to worry about having to make a choice between taking care of myself or my kid and a paycheck. That’s a huge privilege and one that I do not take for granted. It’s made me more loyal than ever, at least to my current executive team.

Still, I was also very happy to round out the week here in my home office, with a candle burning, WRCJ on the radio and at least one of the cats sleeping nearby.

I hope you are well and safe and looking forward to a nice weekend. I’m hoping the weather is decent here in Michigan (it has NOT been). Brandon is going to see Jack White tonight, we have theater rehearsals and a home show, and a big new front door installation. And I’ve barely touched any knitting or cross-stitch in over a week, so there will be that.

february blahs

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January and February are my least favorite months. The short, cold, dark days grind me down and there are no holidays to look forward to. Valentine’s Day doesn’t count because even though I have a top notch sweetie it’s still a stupid holiday.

I try for the cozy glow of November and December but never quite seem to get it back. I hate the pale, slanted quality of the light and the pervasive drear.

It’s better to be working from home than in an office during these days, though. Winter commutes worsen everything. I can pet cats and use my SAD happy lamp without being mocked, stay in my cozy sweats all day and maximize my productive time of day (early mornings).

But I am still tired and struggling not to beat myself up over what I perceive as my lack of productivity and motivation.

I did finish up my Snuggle Down Cowl. This is a pattern by Jooles Hill of Sew Sweet Violet; I knit it in minis from my 2020 Legacy Fiber Artz Advent calendar held with a strand of Casual Fashion Queen’s baby suri alpaca & silk in the Pink Moon colorway.

I finished it during a Thin Man marathon. You get through deep winter any way you can and for me it involves crafting, old movies, fantasy novels and true crime.

Southeastern Michigan is expecting Snowmageddon this week…the kiddo is super excited because it may mean multiple snow days and a trip to the sledding hill. I’m less excited because the downside of working from home is that work is right here no matter what. All the time. Even on snow days, vacations, and holidays. I still vastly prefer it to mandatory office presence but maybe a trip to the sledding hill would be good for my energy and outlook.

Anyway! I may be back with a Friday Faves! If I can find the energy! In the meantime keep your feet warm. xo

do i want to go back?

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I’m still working from home 100% but expect that my workplace will open back up a bit after the holidays, maybe? I have mixed emotions about that. After a year and a half, I can’t imagine going back to the way things were, being in the office 5 days a week. I am an introvert so working from home has been no issue for me; also, my job in the legal profession supports that. My primary responsibilities are reading and reviewing documents, and those are very well-suited to a quiet home office with a cat asleep on my desk and WRCJ classical radio playing in the background.

I’ve also been able to have time with my kid that I have never had since she was born. I’ve always been a working mother and so being around to see her off to the bus, to be home when she gets home in the afternoons, have a snack together, have her do her homework in the armchair in my home office while I’m doing my job – well, it’s been a blessing. It’s been an absolute gift of time and presence. But I do have to admit that from a mental health and productivity standpoint I also benefit from being in an office, too. I can relationship-build, have meetings, and resolve issues more quickly face to face than with a technological hookup like Zoom or Skype or Teams. And being isolated in a home office can be anxiety-producing for me. Issues that are just ‘one more task’ to complete in an office of bustling, busy colleagues with their own agendas, complaints and victories can become looming and dreadful in a home office. Problems can be magnified, worries fester. It’s easy to miss the forest for the trees and remember that I’m a part of a larger assembly, and we’re all going through similar things.

I know a lot of folks who are eager to get back; I know just as many who want to stay home full-time, which I do not think is an option in my company over the long term. So we will just have to see what happens.

a long short week

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As expected this week has been a doozy, even if I wasn’t at work for 2 days. I don’t know why it has taken me so long to realize that sometimes a nice normal 40-hour workweek can be far easier than an abbreviated 3-day workweek full of “life stuff”.

The camp dropoff went well and I won’t see or hear from Miss L for over a week. She has entered the stage where she wanted no pictures taken and the sooner I left and stopped cramping her style, the better, ha. I hope she has a great time and meets a lot of nice kids. She’s been a trooper during this last year and a half and she deserves a summer of fun and friends. I already miss her, though, and am thinking about her all the time.

Upon arrival home in Suburban Elysia I was greeted by a storm cell of intense magnitude. It swept through my area with torrential rains, high straight-line winds, and hail. There were loud booms, pops, and cracks and when the rain and gale abated the damage was shocking. Trees uprooted, downed lines and branches, and flooding.

thankfully missed the neighbor’s house by inches

We are still without power in my neighborhood. Which I could look at and be super annoyed by. Instead, I’m choosing to be grateful that I had no property damage; that no one was hurt in the storm; and that it is cool at night and we are perfectly comfortable with no A/C and the windows open.

I am, however, entirely sick of the racket of generators all the time (we don’t have one – YET).

lunch break at a park near my office

The power outage at the home office pushed up my return to my actual office. We are still hybrid, so the office isn’t full, but I did see lots of familiar faces. Everyone looks perky and tanned and fit, as though they experienced major glow-up during isolation. By contrast, I trailed in pale, puffy and unwashed with a bad attitude and very little sleep from the generator racket all night. But I had French press coffee and was able to do my work and recharge all my devices. I’m trying to look for silver linings.

So I’m limping into the homestretch of the week. I’ve survived but not thrived. And that’s okay.

silver lining

friday five

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  1. The mailman has been so good to me this week. I received my copy of Nomadic Knits issue 7, featuring our beautiful Mitten State. I haven’t read it thoroughly yet but just browsing through it, it’s full of beautiful patterns and stunning photographs. I think my next sweater project (after Pink Memories) may be in there.

But first, I need to pick a pattern on cast on for my very first pair of Halloween socks – using one of my other bits of happy mail this week. Two preordered colorways from Traveling Yarn came – Turning Leaves (the pink tones) and Slutty Pumpkin (who can resist that name???)

2. Miss L was very disappointed not to get placed into an art class at her middle school this semester, so I signed her up for a small, socially distant weekly community ceramics class. It’s held at a local park which is the site of an historic homestead, a beautiful old house, stables, barn, a forest with several trails, orchard, a nature center, etc. The art studio is in the old stables and while Miss L threw some clay, I rambled around the trails, admiring the hazy sunshine, thickly overlaid with high altitude smoke from the West Coast, and did some knitting. It was a very peaceful way to spend an hour, watching the archery class and martial arts class meet outside, six feet apart. I can’t wait to see these trails in a few weeks, when darkness rises and fall color blazes.

3. For someone who very rarely paints her nails, I sure love nail polish and look of a beautiful, shiny manicure. It’s one of the first things I notice and admire in women. I ordered a Cookies & Creme polish set from Olive & June and did my nails this week. The colors seemed to go on a bit thin, but I’ve been overall pleased with them, and they’ve lasted 4 days without chipping so far, just using the Olive & June topcoat (usually I use Orly topcoat, which is the only thing I’ve tried that can preserve my manicure). I’d love to get back into the swing of having painted nails.

4. This week’s only real spot of bad news is the water heater. See last week. Sure enough, the diagnosis was imminent death. So Monday was essentially spent with a plumber. I’m out a nice wad of cash, but it is undeniably pleasant to have hot water whenever I turn on the tap without having to run down to the basement to relight the pilot.

5. I went into the office yesterday. I’ve gone in about once a month since the pandemic hit, but the mood yesterday was different. I’ve had some tough moments working from home this summer, even though I prefer it overall to being in the office. But this time the sun was shining and the leaves turning, and I had a feeling of wistful nostalgia walking up the stairs, unlocking my door, smelling the office smell, turning the calendar another month. Will we ever be back? The office is comfortable; it makes me remember that I’ve got this. Things that feel like a huge deal sitting alone in my home office slash spare bedroom are shrugworthy in the office. Being there reminds me that I have a pretty good track record of handling shit and a pretty strong emotional bandwidth, even when I am not sure that I can take one more thing when I’m on my own during a pandemic. I feel alone sometimes but in truth, I’m not. Two of my colleagues were also in, and we chatted behind our masks. They reinforced that they’d had the same moments of self-doubt, malaise, isolation, and loneliness. It was so nice to see them, to laugh about the fact that we couldn’t hug after six months, share our stories, catch up, and then go our separate ways with best wishes until we meet again. I needed that boost because, as my colleague said, it will be dark soon. Winter will bring the darkness, the days of grey will come, the cold will come, and it will be hard again, here; short days and long nights and a second wave. He’s worried about how we will all deal with that. But somehow, yesterday, being in the office reminded me that we are all in this together and will get through this and although our politicians and our bad actors will continually try to point out how different we are, how much we should hate and fear, in my experience, the people in my circle, work and personal, even with ideological differences, want to come together and find a middle ground and do right by each other as best they can. I hope you have those people in your circle as well and I hope wherever you are this weekend, you have a moment of remembering them, not just in your mind but in your heart and your soul. xoxo

hey it’s august

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I don’t really know what happened to the last few weeks but hey it’s August!

We had our summer trip up north and it was just what we needed. Our intent was to avoid tourist crowds, stay safe, and just visit my parents. So no shopping or eating out. Instead, we socially distanced on the beach, we hiked, hit up the A&W for cold & creamy root beer, and we spent time with my parents. We visited baby llamas and I bought yarn and thought wistfully about uninterrupted knitting time. And I worked. We came home, and I worked much more, and then Brandon had a death in his extended family, and we had his close family come to stay for a few days for the Arrangements. In the meantime I was working even more than much more and when I finally lifted up my head this morning here it is. August.

I’m really hoping for a few restful days in a row now. I haven’t been working my Weight Watchers plan as strenuously as I should, and I haven’t run or done any strength training in almost 3 weeks. If you’ve gotten the message that work has been very busy then you are correct! and I find lately that working from home is making it difficult for me to compartmentalize and keep things separated. The upside is that I don’t have a commute, and in the beginning of the work from home I felt that work / life balance was a lot easier with that extra time. Now, though, tasks and projects that I’d be able to turn off at 5 o’clock and not ruminate on until the next morning at the office now live just down the hall. It’s easy to stay online and keep working much longer than I would normally or fit in something else before bedtime or during the evening.

In other news, like many other school districts, ours is currently grappling with the “right way” to start up again in the fall. As a result everyone is coming to realize that there is no “right way”. One surrounding district after another is declaring fully remote start. We were initially told that our reopening would be aligned with the “phase” Michigan is in – “phases” being based on the number of Covid cases among other things – but although we are technically in a phase that would allow us a hybrid start (part virtual / part in-person with masks, reduced class sizes and staggered attendance days to allow for more distancing) it now seems almost certain that we’ll be fully remote again. I guess the good thing about this is that the decision has been made for me, which reduces the amount of internal debate and agonizing over a set of completely imperfect choices. From a health and safety perspective, this is the right choice, I think; but from a social, educational, and personal development perspective, I really feel for all the kids who are getting shortchanged by circumstances out of their control. Everyone’s doing the best they can and I don’t think there are right answers but it’s a bummer either way.

Reminder: Show Us Your Books next Tuesday!