Category Archives: superficiality

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Gifts from Brandon’s recent trip. ♥️

Daily Tarot card pulls and this Queen has come up for me twice in two weeks.

Obligatory cute cat pic starring Emmett.

My work pants are perilously close to not fitting me; thinking about these “Dream Pants” but afraid I’ll look like a chimney sweep in them.

Windy, warm, and wet for Michigan February.

Finished the Road Trippin’ hat in time for my bestie’s 50th birthday celebration this weekend – we have an AirBnB, champagne, facial and dinner reservations, and an itinerary of vintage and antique stores to explore.

TGIF! xo

there’s a world outside of yonkers…

The first full week of 2023 was one of those strange ones that feel almost like a failure to launch. Although I was back to working in my home office after Monday, Brandon had some light workdays and the kiddo is still off from school. So there was some banging around in the kitchen as they made lunches and snacks and I think there may have been some shared episodes of “Rick and Morty” between the two of them. Otherwise the kiddo is at the age where she can sleep til 11:30 and keep herself occupied – smoothies with friends, working out, art projects and movie rentals on Prime. She’s also been prepping her audition for spring theater’s “Hello Dolly” production so we are all singing “BARNABYYYY” a lot lately.

We also met up with some of her friends and their moms on Wednesday night for pizza and – indoor skydiving (?!) I did not skydive (although one of the mom tribe did and said it was fun but short) instead choosing to knit on my Clinton Hill Cashmere Bandit Cowl and kibbitz with other moms.

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It was pretty much chaos at work for reasons that I of course can’t share here.

I started a new book – the third in Tamsyn Muir’s Locked Tomb series, which I forgot to mention as one of my favorites of 2022. I’m not sure I understand any of it but it’s phenomenal – the tagline on the first of the series (which was also my favorite) promises “lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space! Decadent nobles vie to serve the deathless emperor! Skeletons!” There’s way more to it but yeah, it’s epic.

Likes this week: black leggings, Wishful enzyme scrub, Essie gel “Behind the Glass” on my nails, Damar Hamlin, Chapstick Total Hydration tinted lip oil, using my Verilux Happy Light at my desk during these dark days, listening to A Little Bit Culty podcast with a player from the Nexivm insanity, taking all my vitamins every day this week and being riveted to the chaos over the Speaker.

Dislikes: rehabbing a pulled muscle in my back and not running all week, Harry and Meghan, menopausal issues on high all week, post-holiday letdown, this time of year until essentially the end of March, people who don’t do what they say they’re going to do / being blindsided by that, George Santos, and bring riveted to the chaos over the Speaker.

This weekend is Elvis’s birthday which we may celebrate by going to see an Elvis movie at the local cinema (if I can stay awake). It’s also the big audition – so tonight it’s thawed leftovers from the Annual Freezer Cleanout, a fire in the woodstove, and a “Hello Dolly” rental for additional inspiration and research. TGIF!

tgif – a week of thaw

Good morning from suburban Elysia! It’s been a week of mild – nay, dare I say – warm temperatures and the world is mudluscious. My allergies are starting to go a bit haywire but that has not prevented me from trying to fully enjoy the thaw.

The mailman has been bringing some happy mail this week!

Brandon bought the Detroit print and we will have it framed for our living room! He also bought a new reading lamp and we are ordering swatches for a new loveseat for the den. Long overdue. The current loveseat is a hand me down from some friend’s basement, and poorly slipcovered via Target. Still, I am sad to lose it, as it is supremely comfortable, and I had some of the best naps of my life on it.

The mug discussion has been ongoing in our house as we always have too many – mostly mismatched, chipped, cartoon mugs. Brandon is Mr Aesthetic and I can tell this pains his soul but I cannot get rid of the owl shaped Hedwig mug that Miss L used to drink hot chocolate from or my Whistler’s Mother mug from the Detroit Institute of Arts. I did, however, have my heart broken when my final gorgeous blue pottery mug from my mom broke in the dishwasher. I love thick pottery mugs with gorgeous heavy handles. So I got these as a gift to us. Miss L does not like the color but they are a joy to hold and can suffer through all the indignities of modern life such as the microwave and dishwasher.

My mom also sent me a gift – my brand new favorite t-shirt!

I’ve been dedicated and productive at work in the old home office this week and received news that our work from home has been extended through June. I am on our county list for the vaccine but happy to wait my turn as more at-risk populations get theirs.

I hope you have a fast Friday and a long slow weekend! We are looking forward to Indian food and at least one nice run in this sloppy warm melting world before Michigan turns on us again and sends snow back (I know it’s coming at some point! It can’t be this easy)!

Be well and I hope you are as pleased with life as Pot Roast.

growth and comfort seldom ride the same horse

Here is something I originally wrote in August of 2017:

“My summer friend knows a lot about day lilies and script-writing and Russian criminal tattoos. All of his belongings can fit in the back of his pickup truck and he has no fear about leaving this place to go to a new place. I wish he would stay, but I also can’t imagine him here in the wintertime, living a stone’s throw from the lights of a racetrack, our favorite ice cream stand shuttered in the snow.”

Brandon has gone from a summer friend to a full-season friend and we’ve been living together for a year in November. He’s just as good in the wintertime as he is in the summertime and he’s happily added to my knowledge of World War II, the Tour de France, the Bible, and Morrissey’s catalogue. He’s as voracious a reader as anyone I’ve ever met, loves finding strange old movies on Prime (see “Kiss Me Monster”), and every weekend we carve out time so I can chase him around local metropark trails on our long runs.  He’s beginning to thaw Miss L, too, and last night, I went upstairs with my “summer beach read” – “Chaos: Charles Manson, the CIA, and the Secret History of the Sixties” (maybe I should just get a nice light paperback for our trip up north next week) and heard them downstairs together for a solid two hours eating ice cream and watching old Kung Fu movies.

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Anyway, there are a lot of updates, including the fact that I got my hair cut, that we’re revamping, repainting, and reorganizing the second floor of my house to give L a better room, updated and designed to accommodate her more grown-up sensibilities, as well as a study for Brandon. I’m a little over halfway done knitting my first sweater, we’re doing the Crim in August and the Savannah Rock & Roll Half Marathon in November, but all of those will have to wait for different posts. I really sat down to write today, after my typically long hiatus, about Facebook.

I know it seems like a very modern way to complain about social media – by turning to another form of social media – but I’ve been blogging far longer than I’ve been MySpaceing (God, remember THAT) or Facebooking. And honestly, I am beginning to turn back towards the blog as a preferable way to express oneself online. I took a “digital detox” from FB for a few weeks and I don’t know if I want to go back. I have grown increasingly ambivalent about posting there, except for political rants and adoptable cat shares, and increasingly weary of scrolling to see passive-aggressive vagueposting about discontent with some friend or relative or other situation that one can’t be bothered to confront head-on, rundowns of what one did during one’s workout or what one ate (note: only PROFESSIONAL FOOD PHOTOGRAPHERS should post photos of FOOD – unless you have a talent and an eye for it, your picture is going to look like something that belongs in the dog’s bowl, no matter how yummy and lovely it was in real life). I am irritated when people post sad bleats about how lonely or bored they are, sometimes with an accompanying blurry photo of a tureen of Flip Flop or some other bottom-shelf wine. It seems odd, though, to think about deleting my profile altogether. It seems hard to imagine existing in today’s world without a social media profile, and the thought of deleting it makes me feel vaguely Ted Kaczynski-ish. As though my acquaintances will think I’ve gone to live as a hermit, off the digital grid, growing body hair and avoiding human contact (and really, only the last part is right – see above about recently getting my hair cut).

So I’m not too sure what this means but felt compelled to muse. It’s Sunday morning here and I’m sitting with my laptop and coffee on the front porch, watching bunnies in the hedgerow across the street and bees in the hydrangeas. Until next time, be well friends. xo

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balance

Although I feel like I’ve been doing a good job staying on top of things at work, and even managing to do some creative things on the side that keep me contented, there’s always something in my life that feels a little out of balance. Sometimes it’s just a little thing like realizing I haven’t had a proper haircut in over a year. (Cutting it myself and going to Great Clips for bang trims twice don’t count.) Sometimes I feel like my self-care gets a little sidetracked. I have a uniform for work of heels-dress pants-cardigans in the winter, and I get my haircolor delivered from an e-salon every few weeks, so I manage to keep my greys from showing, but honestly, other than that, I’m pretty low-maintenance. I don’t get manicures, and I never use lipstick. So I made an appointment at my salon and got a haircut.

Before / after:

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I’m not one of those people who think that women of a certain age should have short hair – I think all ages of women look fine with whatever hair length they feel pretty in. However, for me, the shorter length definitely feels like it’s shaved a few years off my middle-aged  skin (although the more flattering lighting & filter help a lot, too, lol). I love the length, it is so much easier and more flattering, and feels healthier. My stylist is also a master at selling me additional products. After my cut, she always whips me over to the makeup table and dusts me with fairy glitter powder and touches up my brows and puts lipstick on me so I can see what I look like when I take a modicum of care with my  appearance. She said the salon owner is one of those women who think lipstick should be worn EVERY DAY and so all the stylists make sure to have it on. I had a friend like this at my old job – she said her mother had drummed into her head that lipstick was a MUST and when she was in the delivery room after giving birth to her twins, her mom bustled in and extracted a lipstick from her handbag and surreptitiously touched her up. “Just a little color, dear, you look so pale.”

She sold me on the lipstick and I’ve made a vow that it won’t just dry out in my drawer, I’ll actually use it every day.

Running and meditating have also fallen a bit by the wayside, and I feel their lack. I can easily get back on track with meditating, but running is taking a bit more effort. I think I finally just hit a wall with the treadmill at lunchtime – I am SO SICK of treadmill miles and so I have to start getting outside. The red-winged blackbirds are singing in the swaying reeds and that’s my signal. So today I woke up early and put on my running shoes; it was drizzling out and the temptation to just crawl back into bed with coffee, Emmett, and my laptop was strong. But I laced up and went out, just for a quick one, and came back exhilarated and wet to the skin. Just as I locked the door behind me and kicked off my wet shoes, the heavens opened up and it poured.

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It was a good start to the weekend, which holds not much more than a trip to the vet for the unsuspecting felines to get their happy pill prescriptions refilled. I’m sure I’ll need a nap after that. I hope you are all staying balanced and getting everything done that keeps you on track and happy and fulfilled.

in which i like them apples

I don’t have any new pictures to post unless you want to see a pic of the cashmere sweater I just sold on Ebay (full price!! score!!!) — wait, I DO have this recently saved to my camera roll:

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In keeping with the disorganized theme of this post, here are a bunch of random things that I am too impatient to make full, well-written posts about individually so instead I will barf them up in no particular order here.

  • It’s snowing again. Actually, it started with rain, and when I went out to the parking lot my Camry was encased in ice. Given our school district’s antipathy towards educating our children when there is even any HINT of inclement weather, I suspect a snow day for Miss L tomorrow. Please note: It was over 60 degrees on Saturday. #puremichigan #nowonderweareallsickallthetime
  • I was standing around waiting for a meeting to start today (I was early) and idly chatting with some other (prompt) meeting participants and I noticed that two of the heavy grey leather chairs in our commons area were just…gone. There are usually two groupings of four and they are too large to be dragged around to serve as supplement seating for meetings. Plus, oddly shaped and not functional. I mentioned it and HR got a little interested and looked around and yup, NO CHAIRS. Who took them? And why? And is my job really so boring that I actually care?
  • During this same pre-meeting idyll, one of the Finance guys said bitterly, “Kids today are SOFT. We NEVER got snow days when WE were kids. If the f-ing buses couldn’t run – you had to WALK. Or your parents had to take you. Now – two inches and it’s a SNOW DAY.” See my sarcastic commentary about the dedication of our district to keeping schools open – I agree with him. We live in MICHIGAN. We should not be closing schools for anything other than a genuine polar vortex. And I want Jim Cantore over here to authorize it as such.
  • I so, so wish I could tell you all of the odd happenings with my work and my dating life. I really wish I could tell you about my shady former lawyer boss, She of the Sitting In the Parking Lot in Her Mercedes Very Very Late for Meetings Putting On her Makeup In the Rearview Mirror, and about the time one of my dates turned his car into his parking space at his modest rental community and SENT A COLONY OF ENORMOUS RATS SCATTERING INTO THE BUSHES WHERE THEY HAD SET UP A HUGE NEST. But I really try to keep things anonymous and kind over here, I seek not to embarrass anyone or call my work integrity into question, and I don’t always know who reads my blog (hi Mom) – but DAMN I wish I could tell you some things. I can, however, tell you that I am currently interviewing attorneys who will likely serve as my boss. When I tell them firmly that I am NOT a lawyer, and I speak to them forcefully and with complete frankness, I can see them receding into a tight-lipped shell of “WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS”. Yes, I inform them, I am not a lawyer, I will likely be reporting to you, and yet I get a say in whether or not you get to come work here. I usually do not add “HOW DO YA LIKE THEM APPLES” but today, interviewing the Donald Trump lookalike with a name like an Edgar Allan Poe novella about a casserole, I almost couldn’t restrain myself.
  • Currently reading: “Career of Evil”, Robert Galbraith – love this series, truly I do.
  • Currently watching: “An Idiot Abroad” which is just wrong. I really shouldn’t laugh myself off the couch when watching it. It’s just – wrong. But I do and I keep coming back.
  • Weather update: Still snowing. Time to go make dinner. Stay safe and warm out there. And if you are in a warmer clime than Michigan, I don’t want to hear about it but feel free to tell me “HOW DO YA LIKE THEM APPLES” because that’s just karma. xoxo

product review: colorfix

On one hand, I hate to blog about superficial appearance issues, and on another hand I don’t really care, so just sit right back and I’ll tell the tale of the last two days of my hair color journey. As faithful reader(s) will remember from a previous post, I had an incident with my hair color and it turned a somewhat strange shade of red. After a week, it was still turning my pale towels pink with running red dye. I was rolling with this even as it stayed dark on top and faded out on the sides and became a strange melange running the gamut of dark vibrant burgundy on top to pale copper on the ends. Yes, all on one head.

Our paralegal, however, was appalled and when she crept into my office with a quiet whispered recommendation about a product called Color Oops, I knew it was time to address it. I had figured I would let the color fade for several weeks, then just recolor something darker over all of it, although I suspected uncomfortably that I would still have the issue of darker on the bottom, brighter on the top. After doing more research, however, I decided to take her recommendation and do a color removal.

Yes, I know it’s still mercury retrograde.

I didn’t use Color Oops, I went to my local Sally’s and got a product called Colorfix which seemed to rate better. On Friday night I spent time in my small bathroom gagging at the smell of rotten eggs from the product, stepped into the shower, and emerged with my dark red hair a thing of the past. Instead, I had a head of pale orangey hair, not a flattering shade, but still. I was astounded. GB advised me this morning that there is still a variation in the color between the top and the bottom, so I did it again, only using the milder color correction method. I think there’s still much darker strands in back and underneath, but I don’t think I can keep going and not have my hair destroyed; anyway I think everyone’s hair is darker underneath than on top so I think I can deal with that.

My hair, despite smelling like rotten eggs, is actually in pretty good shape, a little dried-out but nothing like what I expected. I don’t know if this pale copper shade is my real color (it’s much lighter than I would expect my real color to be) but it’s not terrible. I haven’t decided whether to lay another color down now that I’m back to a somewhat clean slate, or let it go for a little while and rock the natural look. While at Sally’s, I bought a protein filler, which is reportedly intended to stabilize hair and ensure a more even color result, so I’d use that first, but anyway. I’ll have to decide tomorrow before I go back to work on Monday.

So my review of Colorfix:

  • It definitely smells absolutely appalling – but in my case the smell went out of my hair once I’d washed it the next day.
  • It is inexpensive – $13 for a box, although it says you can get about 6 applications out of it, and I only got about 2.
  • It worked for me – took me from dark copper red / auburn to a much paler shade in 1 full application and 1 mild color-correction application.
  • Many reviews tell you not to bother with the third processing step – I did it and I was glad I did. Yes, it darkened my hair, but it darkened it to a more normal shade, from a brassy pale orange to a deeper honey shade (although honey makes it sound slightly better, I think, than it actually is) and seemed to leave it in better shape. The directions say that if you don’t use it, your color will continue to darken over several days and if you recolor promptly, you will not be able to ensure that you have fully eradicated the old color.
  • It left my hair drier than when I started, for sure, but was not damaging and I think if I leave it alone for a few days and treat it to some good conditioning, it will be fine.
  • Definitely worth the price and the convenience, in my opinion, so I give it a thumbs up. It gave me much better results than I had anticipated.