Category Archives: Good for Me

winds and clouds and changing skies

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It’s March and 2023 already feels pretty action packed. Our power grid in suburban Elysia is always a matter of heated local commentary and it’s been tested severely over the past couple of weeks. An ice storm knocked out about 500,000 households two weeks ago, and just as the vast majority of those folks were coming back online, we got hit with an unusually intense snowfall on Friday night that delivered another wallop. The snow started showering down at about 3:30 Friday afternoon – it was heavy and wet, and came down so fast that it took more trees, branches, and power lines with it. We made it all the way through our Friday night movie selection (“The ‘Burbs” which Brandon had never seen) and within seconds of the end credits, we heard the familiar sound of blowing transformers and the lights went out. I’ve lived in Michigan almost all my life and I’ve never experienced thunder snow and lightning before. It was amazing and terrifying. Luckily, I had the foresight to blow up our air mattress so we could sleep downstairs near the woodstove, so we were fairly comfortable, but still. It’s a matter of convenience. The rest of the weekend felt like a wash – power going off and on until Sunday mid-afternoon. When it was finally restored, we could start laundry, meal plan for the week ahead, restock the fridge, etc. Pretty much everyone in the neighborhood is just pissed and done with the fact that our power goes out whenever someone sneezes. There will be a long line of generator customers (including us) once tax refund checks are delivered.

Anyway – it’s March and I have some goals!

Firstly – health and self-image – I am getting my teeth fixed. I resisted for a long time but my dentist told me before the holidays that my bite has become so bad that my teeth are actually loose on top and chipping on the bottom. I had braces as a kid, but I didn’t wear my retainers so….cautionary tale. I went in for an ortho consult last week and unfortunately, Invisalign is not an option…I need an extraction to relieve overcrowding and then it’s good old-fashioned brackets and bands for me. Starting soon.

Also in the health and self-image category – I’m back on Weight Watchers. While I’m all about body positivity, and embracing that my peri-menopausal body at 49 and 8 months is never going to look like it did before (and that’s okay) – I would really like to feel a bit better in my clothes than I do currently. I am short, and I gain weight around my belly and as a result I can just look barrel-shaped which makes finding pants that fit almost impossible. So another March goal is tracking and doing better with my food choices and getting back into some of my work pants. It’s also somewhat true that once I do one positive thing for my overall health and well-being (see ortho above) then I feel inspired to do other things. I spontaneously re-upped Weight Watchers a few hours after my ortho consult.

Professional goals – Although Widget Central has been fairly lax about hybrid schedule and working from home, I’m conscious that these things are much about perception, too, so in March I will try to be more faithful to 2-3 days a week in the physical office building. I’ve been averaging about 1 office day a week since January. I like work from home, but I also don’t mind time in the office, so this shouldn’t be a major problem for me – the biggest thing is just planning to pack my lunch and snacks (which should also be good because – see above with weight issues).

Miscellaneous goals include keeping up with my 2023 reading challenge, running at least 20 miles, blogging once a week and finishing at least 1 knitting project. I’ll check in on these things at the beginning of April, hopefully in a bit more organized format.

Not really a goal here, but at the end of the month, for the kiddo’s Spring Break, we’ll be taking a trip to Williamsburg, VA – she’s going to be 15 this summer so she has probably already aged out of the ‘educational trip with parents’ bracket, but I still think it will be cool for her to see Williamsburg and Jamestown, the weather should be mild and pleasant, the hotel has an indoor pool and we’ll eat some nice meals. I’m currently trying to decide whether to drive our Subaru Outback (the inexpensive route) or rent a more comfy minivan for the 20ish hour (round trip) drive.

And of course there are the usual tasks of getting taxes done (tomorrow), running the kiddo around to theater rehearsals (Hello, Dolly! in May! she plays the judge!) and marching band and music lessons and scheduling her summer music camp and driver’s education class in June (!!).

And that’s our March.

The title of my post is from William C. Bryant: “The stormy March has come at last, With winds and clouds and changing skies; I hear the rushing of the blast That through the snowy valley flies.”

a busy october

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This is the time of year I love best. We are still getting warm, honey-dripped sunshine days here in Michigan, but also chilly nights, crunching leaves, changing skies and the smell of woodsmoke.

LIfe continues apace. The kiddo got glammed up for her Homecoming dance a few weeks ago and seemed to enjoy herself, although she did comment that it was really just like a much more intensive middle school dance.

Marching band will take up an inordinate amount of time through October and it’s our main social activity, both the kiddo’s and mine. I had no idea what a commitment it would be as a ‘band mom’ but for as tiring as it can be, I love volunteering my time and hanging out with the other band parents. There are full weeks of rehearsals and then on weekends, tailgates and football games, and band competitions. I help out with uniforms before and after every performance and try not to embarrass the kiddo too much by my presence. I’m so happy that she consents to me participating in her activities through volunteering and I love being involved. I’ve met many great people and we’ve developed a small village of supportive, engaged parents that I just don’t know what I’d do without. I fully confess to being a full-on band geek so I can think of many worse ways to spend my time on weekends than watching a great marching band. This past weekend we were at Chippewa Valley for a competition and despite the chill and the wind, it was an exciting and fun event for everyone.

Unfortunately, the cooler weather and busy schedules have also meant random colds and illnesses and a lot of Covid tests (fortunately all negative so far).

On top of it all, I signed up for a weekly crochet class through the month of October and so for two hours every week, I’ll be working away at swatches and then moving on to a granny square. I have to remind myself that I deserve these times away from work and my family because we’ve been so busy that it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking I am existing the best only when I’m doing something productive for someone else, and I feel guilty about having something just for myself.

I have so many knitting projects in the queue that I don’t even know where to start – I think I’ll do a full rundown of wips and planned projects very soon because if I don’t start making lists, I’ll forget what I have squirreled away in various bags and baskets.

So that’s the update from my corner of the world. I hope wherever you are, you are doing well and are safe, healthy, and doing things that make you happy either just for yourself or for / with people you love. xo

thursday night lights

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As anticipated, last week was rough. I went into it without a lot of energy and my sense of stress and overwhelm already at a high level. The kiddo had a lot of activities that made for a couple of late nights for both of us, on top of a work schedule that was pushing me to take on challenges I didn’t particularly want or feel capable of. Everything just looked like a slog of responsibilities and nothing inspired any real joy or excitement in me.

When my kiddo is struggling, I try to impart on her that she’s not alone and doesn’t need to be. And that when it’s possible, the best way to deal with times of stress, overwhelm, and uncertainty is by leaning on people around you and pushing through. Make lists; tackle things one small step at a time. If you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl. Just keep moving forward any way you can and celebrating all of your positive actions, no matter how tiny they may seem to you. This is easy advice to give someone else and hard for me to take myself. When I struggle, I don’t want to lean on anyone and I don’t feel like anything I do is worthy of celebration – it all just feels inadequate. But this week, I DID take the small steps. Pot Roast helped keep me company on those late nights waiting up for the kiddo. I pushed through at work with lists and busy, productive mornings – even if I didn’t accomplish everything, I didn’t stay in bed with the covers over my head.

And I showed up at the first marching band tailgate for the first home football game with a big bowl of pasta salad and another newbie neighborhood mom in tow. She had texted me earlier that day telling me she was having a similar week of challenges at work, she was overwhelmed and tired, had never been to a tailgate and didn’t know what to bring; she didn’t even have camp chairs. “Don’t stress about it. Just bring juice boxes – I heard the kids love them – and I have two chairs, you can sit with me,” I said, without adding that her relying on me was like the blind leading the blind.

As an introvert, and a full time working mom, I frequently feel like I don’t need community or new friends, because they just end up being a drain on my already limited time and anyway, I get enough social stimulation at work. But sitting at that tailgate, hanging out with other marching band parents and petting dogs and swatting away bees while eating really unhealthy yummy food off paper plates balanced on our knees, I felt like it was the best time of the week. Even us newbie moms who felt like it was going to be just another challenge to ‘get through’ found ourselves relaxed and calm. No one needed anything from us except to be there and enjoy ourselves.

So I sat back and took a deep breath; I had another helping of someone’s macaroni and cheese, popped a juice box, and watched my kid fill her own plate and sit in a circle with the other band kids. The hum of laughter and parent conversation rose and fell around me, and later on, we all sat together on the bleachers and watched the halftime show under the Thursday night lights.

pine needle basket-making

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Before the pandemic, I read an article about folk schools in Midwest Living and was excited to see that there was one quite close to me. When I did more research, I realized that not only is the Michigan Folk School close, I actually drive right past it when I take the back way to my office. (When I was actually IN the office.) I quickly signed up for a soap-making class and really enjoyed it.

Then Covid hit, and it was just this weekend before I felt comfortable enough to try another class. This one was pine needle and broom straw basket-making. Julia Gold, one of the founders of the Folk School, taught the class, and she is a beautiful, inspiring, capable woman, mother, wife, teacher, and homesteader. The Folk School provided all the materials for the day-long course – the long pine needles from southern trees (not the short needles we have here), the sharp, large-eyed tapestry needle, the waxed cord. We arrived on Saturday morning; within an hour, we had been taught the basic skills. The rest of the day was spent companionably, a woman’s circle of working on our baskets, talking, laughing, and eating.

I came away in the long, sloping light of the winter afternoon with my first small basket. It’s rife with mistakes and my hands were cramped and sore when I got home…but I was so incredibly pleased with myself and I immediately bought materials to make more small baskets to give as gifts. For next to the sink to hold rings when doing dishes, a tiny one; in bedside drawers, to hold hair ties, hand cream and lip balm, a slightly larger version; and for Christmas with one of our handmade candles or bars of soap. I’m hooked.

The next class I am eyeing is leather working – they have offerings to make a leather tote or messenger bag. If you’re in the Michigan area, or could get here for a day or weekend, one of their classes would be an amazing opportunity. Located in the historic Dixboro village, Ann Arbor, with its many restaurants, hotels, university and shopping is a very short drive.

I can’t wait to show you more baskets -I hope you had a wonderful weekend! xx

friday faves

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The blog has been a bit dark of late so let’s take a day to look at the brighter things.

I am not entirely in the Christmas spirit yet – life has been pretty busy and I’m in ‘double down and push through’ mode. But the house is decorated and we are opening Advents every night. This year, Brandon got me a mini-wine Advent and I have a yarn Advent from A Homespun House. I also just ordered some fingering weight so I can knit the Cozy Comfort blanket with all my new minis. The kid has a crystals calendar from Etsy, the Stickii Advent (we also subscribe to one of their monthly sticker packs) and the obligatory chocolate Lindt from her Neena. And Brandon has his usual mini liquor calendar in the tree stand I ordered from Etsy last year.

I finally finished my first cross-stitch, which was Halloween themed. I’m not super speedy with stitching- I need ideal light and a good eye day – and I’m sure I’ll be finishing up the next project, which is winter themed, in July. But although I’m not really good at it, I do find it very relaxing and meditative especially when paired with a good podcast.

This weekend the kiddo’s Scout troop will be packing grab and go lunch bags for Food Gatherers of Detroit to distribute, and she also has a Christmas band concert. Brandon is leaving for a few days to visit his family, and got boosted on Monday to prepare. I will be ferrying the kid and trying to finish up a few knitting ornaments and stay on top of the tide of Vlogmas that threatens to overwhelm me in an avalanche of tinsel, Christmas carols and frothy coffee displays every time I turn to YouTube. There will also – I’m sure – be some Scandinavian detective novels (I’m in that mood again).

Happy Friday. After today I have five more workdays in 2021…not that I am counting. Be well, enjoy your weekend, shop local and small business and wear some nice warm socks while you’re at it. xo

december

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December is here and Michigan is bouncing between snow and spring, in typically indecisive fashion.

We’ve gotten the Advent calendars going – they’re a favorite in our house. And the Christmas tree is up but in typical fashion, it was a battle. I despise putting up the tree (and taking it down) and we had one or two nice days with it before an entire string of lights went out, smack dab in the center. I had to go buy new lights and they didn’t match the other strings so the whole tree had to be redone. I told Brandon I’d be content to just take the whole thing down and put it away. He hugged me, put on some music, and took care of it while I sat on the couch with a glass of wine and kept him company.

I got a good fella.

In other news, between the new variant and the school shooting – which occurred less than an hour away from us, in the same county – I don’t have much to say about the state of the world right now.

This is a difficult time for many and this year seems to be no different. All of my social media feeds are reflecting internal and external struggles. Yesterday I made a list of the things I need to do this month to stay healthy. They seem common sensible – stay active, track my food via WW and stay hydrated. Meditate and use my SAD lamp, limit sugar and alcohol. And one additional item is that I have to turn down some social commitments. Some are for my kid, which are non-negotiable, but the ones that aren’t are coming off the schedule.

Hopefully you are all staying well and safe, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Hope to be back soon, more brightly.

friday five!

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1. I got my Covid booster on Monday so, like Big Bird, I am fully armed to protect myself and my community. My first two were Pfizer, this one Moderna. My initial side effects were all similar- sore arm, fatigue, headache, all of which were resolved within 24 hours. I took the next day off from work, slept, drank lots of water, and was good to go the following day. However, now, a few days out, I’m developing an itch and mild rash at the injection site. After some Internet research I’ve found that this an uncommon but benign side effect – mostly in women – of the Moderna shot but not seen with Pfizer. Nothing to worry about but who knew.

(And while we are on the topic of Big Bird’s vaccination, can we remember that Big Bird has been endorsing vaccines since 1972? And let’s also remember that Ted Cruz is a repellent individual who – while vaccinated himself (!) – feels he has nothing better to do to serve his constituents than attack a PUPPET for making little kids feel good about vaccinations in general. Whenever I think the GOP can’t get shittier or dirtier they manage to outdo themselves.)

(Also – fuck psycho Kyle Rittenhouse and fuck his psycho mom and fuck the biased judge while I’m at it. You don’t go out walking around with an AR-15 and then CLAIM SELF DEFENSE WHEN YOU KILL PEOPLE. It was what you INTENDED TO DO ALL ALONG. And then certainly don’t (badly) pretend to CRY ABOUT IT. You’re a racist scumbag murderer – at least own it now, stand by your shoddy upbringing and flawed belief system and complete absence of morals and ethics and take your punishment.)

2. The other big thing for me this week is the rollout of the new Weight Watchers program. I’ve been on WW for over a year now, after gaining some Covid weight. I gained about 10 on top of being about 10 over where I should be, lost almost 20, stopped working the program and gained back 10 to put myself right where I was pre-pandemic. I’ve been half-heartedly and listlessly tracking since then without much motivation. Peri-menopause is real and it is here. The new program has jump-started me because I can actually earn points back for drinking water, hitting my step goals, and eating non-starchy vegetables! I’m very much in favor of it and am back to tracking constantly. For the first time in months I’ve had over 60 oz of water several days in a row and hit step goals and food targets as well! I love that the program is holistic, there are no “bad” foods, and encourages general health, activity and well-being.

3. Yesterday at lunch Brandon and I walked our annual Thanksgiving donations down to the mailbox. We each donate a specific amount for Thanksgiving (and then again at Christmas) to our selected charities. This year he went with Salvation Army and I chose Gleaners Community Food Bank in Detroit. Then we got Starbucks in the new holiday cups (basic bitch level enjoyment unlocked) and walked around the historic district of our village admiring the Veterans Day flags and banners. A belated but heartfelt THANK YOU for your service to all my readers who are vets!

4. I’ve never been one for expensive shampoo but my stylist convinced me to try samples of Aveda NutriPlenish and dammit after a week my hair looks and feels much improved. I find it difficult to spend that much on shampoo and conditioner but what am I to do? Luckily my salon is having a holiday 25% off sale next week so I can pick up my first bottles at a bit of a discount. I’d be better off if I could go days between washes but I’ve never been able to do that.

5. For several weeks the kiddo and I have been working together on a top secret crafting project for holiday gifts, which I hope to share more about next week. This year, we’re trying to do more handmade gifts for loved ones and I’ll give you a hint – we use a lot of these at this time of year.

That’s it for Friday. What are you doing this weekend? Brandon and I will do a 4-5 mile run, and I have to get the kiddo sorted out with a pair of black dress pants for her band concert on Monday night. I also hope to finish up her Purl Soho Simple Pleasures hat. The weather should be cooler and wet with possible S-N-O-W! Be well and enjoy. xo

do i want to go back?

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I’m still working from home 100% but expect that my workplace will open back up a bit after the holidays, maybe? I have mixed emotions about that. After a year and a half, I can’t imagine going back to the way things were, being in the office 5 days a week. I am an introvert so working from home has been no issue for me; also, my job in the legal profession supports that. My primary responsibilities are reading and reviewing documents, and those are very well-suited to a quiet home office with a cat asleep on my desk and WRCJ classical radio playing in the background.

I’ve also been able to have time with my kid that I have never had since she was born. I’ve always been a working mother and so being around to see her off to the bus, to be home when she gets home in the afternoons, have a snack together, have her do her homework in the armchair in my home office while I’m doing my job – well, it’s been a blessing. It’s been an absolute gift of time and presence. But I do have to admit that from a mental health and productivity standpoint I also benefit from being in an office, too. I can relationship-build, have meetings, and resolve issues more quickly face to face than with a technological hookup like Zoom or Skype or Teams. And being isolated in a home office can be anxiety-producing for me. Issues that are just ‘one more task’ to complete in an office of bustling, busy colleagues with their own agendas, complaints and victories can become looming and dreadful in a home office. Problems can be magnified, worries fester. It’s easy to miss the forest for the trees and remember that I’m a part of a larger assembly, and we’re all going through similar things.

I know a lot of folks who are eager to get back; I know just as many who want to stay home full-time, which I do not think is an option in my company over the long term. So we will just have to see what happens.

happy may

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Happy May, happy Beltane. It was quite a week here in Suburban Elysia, full of dentist appointments, board meetings, nighttime calls with my colleagues in Japan, waves of pollen and allergies. But somehow we muddled through and the big news, the event that capped our week, was Brandon and I receiving our second doses of the Pfizer Covid vaccine.

24 hours post, we are both feeling fine – sore arms, some fatigue, but that’s all, so we are pretty lucky, I guess.

I hope you are all well. I will be back next week with a couple of finished objects (!!) and more nattering.

sweet little things

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I know this was a terrible year and sharing holiday cheer feels somehow wrong. But it is also right to express gratitude for what we have, and take pleasure in the little things when so many big things are very wrong. So here are a few things that brought me some joy this holiday.

The joy we find in our community. Running and walking in our neighborhood, enjoying the sled hill on a snowy morning and our Heritage Park trails and historic buildings, our local businesses and the friends we have here.

Being together. My daughter, Brandon and I spent so many enjoyable hours doing puzzles, art, taking walks, crafting, sledding, cooking and relaxing with each other- we had the gift of time.

Taking great joy in celebrating the holiday with pleasures like a nice meal and a table with a tablecloth and our nice dishes and some candles, even if it’s just the three of us.

Getting outside even on cold days to get some steps, fresh air, clear the cobwebs and do some birdwatching.

Enjoying our furry family.

I hope, even in this awful year, that you were all able to find some joy and peace in this season and if not, know that you are not alone and that things will be better. Until then, we will have to muddle through somehow.