Category Archives: Family

spring into summer

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I always have the best intentions to regularly update this space, and then I finally get around to writing and look back and realize I haven’t been here since March.

So what have I been up to since then? All the things I usually am. The kiddo has gone from her school year activities of band, soccer, and theater to her summer activities of Driver’s Ed (how??), band (always band), and art camp. Work has been busy and I have been active with running (sort of), knitting (probably need a whole post about that), and Weight Watchers. I have been pretty consistently on the WW app yet have only lost about 5 lbs in 2 months…menopause is a bitch.

We saw ‘Six’ at the Fisher, the kiddo had a spectacular run in ‘Hello Dolly’, we got a bond at the local pool club, and I got braces.

And I turned 50.

I started a whole solipsistic post about that and didn’t finish it (you’re welcome). I know age is just a number, but I really do feel a sea change about this particular number. I know I can’t just entirely retire in this decade, but I have been able to begin the process of evaluating where I am investing my time and energy and more importantly, why. During this decade, I hope to be more thoughtful about that and begin to swing away from doing things for other people and more for myself. Less because I ‘have’ to and more because I ‘want’ to. And when that’s not possible, to give myself grace in how I approach those things. For example – can I quit my job? No. Do I sometimes dream about retirement? Yes. But when I stop and think about it – I really like my job and even in retirement I don’t plan on giving up work altogether unless I’m forced to. So is it my job itself that I dream of giving up, or the mental stress and pressure I put on myself ABOUT my job that I can reconsider? It’s more about shifting the narrative about what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I work because I love being able to financially support myself, my home, and my daughter. I work because I really love the people I work with and am interested in the job I do. I GET to work. However, I also love who I am without work. I have no interest in being promoted, making more money, hustling, changing jobs, or advancing myself in any way other than showing up and doing a solid, ethical job at what I’m responsible for – but putting work on an equal footing with my family, my home, and MYSELF. Not letting it usurp other things I love and need, and take up more space than it should – and this decade, that is enough.

Same with my health. Would I love to lose 20 lbs and be the same weight I was ten years ago? Yep. Am I willing to put the work into doing that? Probably not. Am I tracking and using WW just for the weight loss and how I look? No. I feel better when I consider what I am putting into my body and have goals about the kind of foods I am eating, about drinking less wine, drinking more water. And running. Would I love to set a half-marathon PR that crushes what I could do ten years ago? Yes, but I don’t run because I am trying to do that (or even think that’s really possible). I am not doing these things to flog myself into being something I’m not. I run because I feel better when I move my body and I know that these things give me a greater ability to grow old gracefully in a healthy and happy way.

So those are the big things. In other news, it’s summertime here in SE MI and I’m looking forward to a relaxing evening at home with Brandon and then a busier day tomorrow. The Girl Scout troop (yes my kiddo and her friends are still hanging in there with Girl Scouts) and accompanying mom troop are all headed to Cincinnati on Sunday for a couple of days hanging out in a sprawling, historic AirBNB Victorian, cooking for each other, shopping, eating, and visiting King’s Island. Ten years ago the thought of these 2-3 days would have given me hives. Now – I’ve known these women since our kids were in second grade and they’re my mom tribe. They’re the women I text when I have questions about marching band or something happening at the high school. We are who we turn to when the school is on lockdown because of a threat investigation (which has happened no fewer than 8 times this year). So while this probably isn’t the ideal way I would spend my vacation days, I no longer have any anxiety about it – I’ll load up my books and knitting and they’ll know that I’ll be the first to go to bed and no one cares.

I do have plans for a knitting post and a Favorite Things post – I have lots of little fun conspicuous consumption items that I’ve found and have been enjoying. Whether those posts come in June, July, August or beyond – I make no promises. But be well in the meantime!

drinking from a fire hose

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My brother recently said that his week felt like drinking from a fire hose and I thought it was such a perfect description of my 2023 so far. As always, there are things that I can’t / won’t blog about but let me just say that teenagers are no joke, y’all. There are times when I feel like a stranger has taken up residence in my kiddo’s appallingly messy bedroom and is stomping around in her new varsity jacket. I know we all go through this terrifying developmental stage and my own parents advised me on more than one occasion that I was a massive storm cloud during my teen years but sometimes you have to live with it to really get it. And kids these days have very different concerns and stressors than we did with the omnipresent influence of technology and social media. Sooo… deep breath, both hands on the wheel.

Likes this week: A mid-week snow storm which didn’t disrupt my life too badly, just laid down a nice fluffy blanket of white that’s been largely absent so far this winter. Looking up at almost 6pm the other day and seeing that it was still light outside (we’re starting to move out of the dark season now). Keeping up with my 2023 reading challenge and finding a new cozy series (the Dr. Nell Ward mysteries by Sarah Yarwood-Lovett) to keep me occupied. Keeping up with my vitamin D and happily finding the missing 3 cards from the tarot deck that my parents gave me for Christmas when I turned 14.

Dislikes this week: See first paragraph above.

This weekend is a breakfast with my bestie and a big football day on Sunday for Brandon, via his team the Bengals. TGIF!

there’s a world outside of yonkers…

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The first full week of 2023 was one of those strange ones that feel almost like a failure to launch. Although I was back to working in my home office after Monday, Brandon had some light workdays and the kiddo is still off from school. So there was some banging around in the kitchen as they made lunches and snacks and I think there may have been some shared episodes of “Rick and Morty” between the two of them. Otherwise the kiddo is at the age where she can sleep til 11:30 and keep herself occupied – smoothies with friends, working out, art projects and movie rentals on Prime. She’s also been prepping her audition for spring theater’s “Hello Dolly” production so we are all singing “BARNABYYYY” a lot lately.

We also met up with some of her friends and their moms on Wednesday night for pizza and – indoor skydiving (?!) I did not skydive (although one of the mom tribe did and said it was fun but short) instead choosing to knit on my Clinton Hill Cashmere Bandit Cowl and kibbitz with other moms.

iFly Detroit

It was pretty much chaos at work for reasons that I of course can’t share here.

I started a new book – the third in Tamsyn Muir’s Locked Tomb series, which I forgot to mention as one of my favorites of 2022. I’m not sure I understand any of it but it’s phenomenal – the tagline on the first of the series (which was also my favorite) promises “lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space! Decadent nobles vie to serve the deathless emperor! Skeletons!” There’s way more to it but yeah, it’s epic.

Likes this week: black leggings, Wishful enzyme scrub, Essie gel “Behind the Glass” on my nails, Damar Hamlin, Chapstick Total Hydration tinted lip oil, using my Verilux Happy Light at my desk during these dark days, listening to A Little Bit Culty podcast with a player from the Nexivm insanity, taking all my vitamins every day this week and being riveted to the chaos over the Speaker.

Dislikes: rehabbing a pulled muscle in my back and not running all week, Harry and Meghan, menopausal issues on high all week, post-holiday letdown, this time of year until essentially the end of March, people who don’t do what they say they’re going to do / being blindsided by that, George Santos, and bring riveted to the chaos over the Speaker.

This weekend is Elvis’s birthday which we may celebrate by going to see an Elvis movie at the local cinema (if I can stay awake). It’s also the big audition – so tonight it’s thawed leftovers from the Annual Freezer Cleanout, a fire in the woodstove, and a “Hello Dolly” rental for additional inspiration and research. TGIF!

a busy october

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This is the time of year I love best. We are still getting warm, honey-dripped sunshine days here in Michigan, but also chilly nights, crunching leaves, changing skies and the smell of woodsmoke.

LIfe continues apace. The kiddo got glammed up for her Homecoming dance a few weeks ago and seemed to enjoy herself, although she did comment that it was really just like a much more intensive middle school dance.

Marching band will take up an inordinate amount of time through October and it’s our main social activity, both the kiddo’s and mine. I had no idea what a commitment it would be as a ‘band mom’ but for as tiring as it can be, I love volunteering my time and hanging out with the other band parents. There are full weeks of rehearsals and then on weekends, tailgates and football games, and band competitions. I help out with uniforms before and after every performance and try not to embarrass the kiddo too much by my presence. I’m so happy that she consents to me participating in her activities through volunteering and I love being involved. I’ve met many great people and we’ve developed a small village of supportive, engaged parents that I just don’t know what I’d do without. I fully confess to being a full-on band geek so I can think of many worse ways to spend my time on weekends than watching a great marching band. This past weekend we were at Chippewa Valley for a competition and despite the chill and the wind, it was an exciting and fun event for everyone.

Unfortunately, the cooler weather and busy schedules have also meant random colds and illnesses and a lot of Covid tests (fortunately all negative so far).

On top of it all, I signed up for a weekly crochet class through the month of October and so for two hours every week, I’ll be working away at swatches and then moving on to a granny square. I have to remind myself that I deserve these times away from work and my family because we’ve been so busy that it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking I am existing the best only when I’m doing something productive for someone else, and I feel guilty about having something just for myself.

I have so many knitting projects in the queue that I don’t even know where to start – I think I’ll do a full rundown of wips and planned projects very soon because if I don’t start making lists, I’ll forget what I have squirreled away in various bags and baskets.

So that’s the update from my corner of the world. I hope wherever you are, you are doing well and are safe, healthy, and doing things that make you happy either just for yourself or for / with people you love. xo

last week of september 2022

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The weather has turned damp and blustery, and the brightest things in the yard are the fallen leaves and the bright mums in pots, all orange and yellow. There are five weeks left of fall marching band season, and while we’re really enjoying the Friday night tailgates and games, it’s definitely a major time commitment. Three afternoon / evening rehearsals a week, plus games, and something almost every Saturday – band competitions, fundraisers, pictures, etc. The kiddo gets rides with friends, and the mom friends carpool, but there are always pickups and dropoffs to coordinate. And we bring food for every tailgate, and I’ve been volunteering before and after games to help the kids with uniforms. All in all, it’s no wonder they don’t want band kids to do a competing fall sport or activity.

This weekend is the big Homecoming parade, game, and dance, and a couple of weeks ago the kiddo and I went shopping for her dress and shoes. Homecoming has changed a lot since my high school days – when people mostly went with dates. My Homecoming dress (circa 1989) was a black Limited shirtwaist that went to my ankles and up to my neck and fastened with a gold brooch. Kiddo said I looked like I was going to a funeral and Brandon said I looked like I was wearing a shower curtain…Suffice it to say, dresses have changed – I think there was more fabric in the sleeves of my dress than in the entire rack of dresses we saw at the department store. The Homecoming dresses now are more like very abbreviated prom dresses from my youth – all silk and satin, strapless and spangled. I think they look like skating costumes. And kids just go – with friends, in groups, etc. The kiddo picked out a jade green slipdress, and gave me major side-eye when I asked about nylons / stockings – apparently that is NOT DONE anymore (I wore black nylons with my shirtdress. Follow me for more fashion tips). She looks fantastic, even though I definitely wish there was more to it – hey, how about a vintage shirtwaist? – but she looks suddenly glam, tall and leggy in heels.

baby sara & bonus footage of our bassett hound cate

I really intended to blog more in September, but in addition to being a band mom, I’ve been busy at work with a major negotiation and an audit, and last week had to take some time off to attend my best friend’s mother’s funeral in my hometown. Time is marching on rapidly this autumn, and the changes around me seem particularly evident, in my own life and in the people and family around me. Growth, loss, change, and fall makes even the small actions of our human lives seem particularly relevant and poignant.

I hope you are all having a good month and looking forward to October. This is my favorite time of year and I can’t wait to hang up my Halloween decorations, light the candles, and make a big pot of soup. xo

labor day weekend and greasefest 2022

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I took an extra day off on Friday to make it a four-day weekend and it was a much needed break. The weather was evenly split – two days of very hot and humid sunshine, which broke sometime Saturday night, giving way to two days that were cooler and overcast. Friday was a kiddo day – she had the day off from school, so we picked up ice coffees and went shopping. We tried on clothes, and she spilled more tea about her first full week of high school, and we got overcaffeinated and then went home to order pizzas and watch Netflix.

Saturday was a friends day. Brandon’s family on his father’s side is of Hungarian descent, so his cousin and girlfriend and another friend came over that night for Szalonna. For those of you who are unfamiliar – this is Hungarian greasy bread, where you slowly roast chunks of pork jowl bacon over a fire and drip the grease on white bread. You eat the greasy bread with cut-up peppers and onions and sloppy dashes of Hungarian paprika. GreaseFest 2022! Unfortunately, it was super hot to be roasting pork over an open flame, although everyone had fun (“Everyone’s down for GreaseFest 2023 – we won the hearts and minds,” Brandon reported). Except maybe for the kiddo who is a newly minted vegetarian. I made her a huge pot of homemade macaroni and cheese and a big salad to have instead of greasy bread and ended up eating it with her because Szalonna really tested my reserves. And my intestines. The meat plus the heat made for a wakeful and somewhat nauseated Saturday evening…I was happy to wake up on Sunday to a cool breeze and grey skies.

After GreaseFest 2022, the remaining two days were mine. The kiddo went to her dad’s house on Sunday, and I went running both days. I finished It Girl, the newish Ruth Ware, which I really enjoyed. Brandon spent several hours on both days at the skate park with the Old Bros, and I did a thousand loads of laundry, cast on a knitted hat and watched the first two episodes of the new Lord of the Rings on Prime. I’m not sold on this yet, but I think if I dispel the thought that this is going to be like the books or the movies, I can get behind it. I have to view it almost as a complete standalone, a piece of entertainment that I can enjoy the way I enjoyed the Witcher, and leave it at that. It did give me a wistful sense of nostalgia for the story, though, so I found myself curled up on the couch on Sunday afternoon with Sarge and my battered copy of the Fellowship of the Ring, while Brandon made gouda burgers (apparently this weekend was also about consumption of fatty meats.

I’m hoping it’s a fairly light week back in the real world – there’s no home game this week, so no Marching Band tailgate and football game to prep for, and the kiddo is with her dad, so I’m going to try to focus on work and get ahead of the curve a bit (just one office day, though). I hope everyone had a rejuvenating weekend and that all’s well with you and yours. xo

the post that wasn’t

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It’s entirely emblematic of recent days around here that I laboriously typed out a long post about our very busy weekend and WordPress ate it.

I was GOING to tell you all about band camp pickup on Friday night, the kiddo’s birthday celebrations over the weekend, and a houseworky Sunday, all of which made me feel like I didn’t actually get a weekend at all.

There was going to be some gripping content about the horrors of band camp laundry when band camp was subjected to downpours and leaky teepees (yep) as sleeping quarters. You were going to be thrilled by rumors of bed bugs in the boys teepee! And the story of the kid who rolled down the hill with a bass drum! Not to mention the star of our tale, an exhausted teenager who ate next to nothing all week because the food was terrible and not vegetarian, slept the whole way home but rose again the next day to celebrate her birthday properly!

hey sarge

I was also going to tell you that I picked up two books at the library and have been plowing through them but I wasn’t going to tell you much about them because I’m saving that for a dedicated book post.

There was also going to be a teaser about the week ahead which is another corker, full of work stuff and kiddo stuff. Including two band performances (one at the first home football game!) and FRESHMAN ORIENTATION (how is this even possible?!) And a teenager and a mom who are completely tired out and cranky and not ready at all for the challenges of what’s ahead! It’s like Frodo and Sam with the ring! Except not!

There was also some stuff about us making candles, but I am also going to have to save that for a dedicated post because it’s now late, I have to finish this, I have to schedule it to publish sometime tomorrow, and I have to go to bed because as you may have already guessed, I am emotionally unprepared for another week to roll around.

I hope you are all well and that your week starts out with a bang and not a whimper like mine. xoxo

quick hello

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Two office days this week and they’re starting to feel more normal. It helps that I’ve been busy planning and preparing for our major corporate governance meetings, which take place this week & next. It’s one of my major work responsibilities and every spring for me is marked with seasonal allergies and board meetings.

Life is busy otherwise, too – the kiddo is in final theater rehearsals for her performances in mid-May, and she’s also running track. Michigan weather hasn’t really cooperated much with this and several practices and her first meet have been canceled due to snow, wind, rain, etc. But still a lot of driving and dropping off and picking up but it’s very exciting to see her trying and enjoying new things.

Brandon went to the Jack White show at the Masonic Temple in Detroit, which kicked off the Supply Chain Issues tour. I didn’t go, even though I love Jack White and the White Stripes – I just needed a quiet night at home with the cats. He went with a buddy and I was kicking myself the next morning when Brandon casually mentioned that Jack proposed to his girlfriend AND THEN MARRIED HER ONSTAGE. I did get a cool t-shirt, but I could have been a wedding guest!

Our Easter was quiet and traditional- one of Brandon’s friends came over, I made ham, green bean casserole, and scalloped potatoes, and there was lamb cake for dessert.

So that’s about it for now – I just wanted to give a quick hello from gloomy wet Michigan spring. Once my meetings are over, I have a couple of posts planned – one to review my wardrobe updates / capsule wardrobe for return to the office, and one crafty update (I hope to have one knitted FO and a fair bit of cross-stitch). Until then! xx

the first one of twenty two

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how it started

I can’t believe I haven’t posted in 2022 yet. If the old adage “start as you mean to end” is true then I am well and truly screwed for this year.

So what’s been up? Well, the kiddo got Covid for the New Year so that’s how it all began. We’re all vaxxed and so it was a mild case that was really more like a bad cold. She quarantined for the period required by our school district and is fully recovered now. Omicron has cut a massive swathe, hasn’t it? I can’t believe how many people I know who have it or have had it since the holidays.

She tried out for a part in our local community theater production of Mary Poppins and was successful, so starting today I’m plunging into my first time Theater Mom role. (Actually the rehearsals are closed which is probably for the best.)

I’ve lost a pound and a half of the SIX I gained over the holidays and am working Dry January. It’s been grindingly cold in SE Michigan but not much snow to speak of yet so I am able to get out for some activity but sometimes I’m just too dang lazy.

So that’s the quick January briefing so far. I won’t let it go so long next time. I hope you are all enjoying 2022 so far and staying warm and healthy. xo

christmas 2021

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Christmas Eve was a girls’ day – Brandon had a family party a couple of hours away and the kiddo and I stayed home. She has recovered so well from surgery but was still a bit unsteady, and it was good for us to just be quietly home together and “vibe” – as she said. We have to be careful with not getting water in her ear so I washed her hair in the kitchen sink, we had a merry fire even though it was stupidly balmy outside, made nachos, watched a Marvel movie and ate some Christmas cookies. When Brandon got home that night we played Clue and finished up last-minute wrapping and stockings. In bed late.

Christmas morning was very mellow – the teenager slept til about 930 – no more the days of her being up at 5 tearing into her bright boxes and bags under the tree. Brandon made breakfast, we had coffee and cinnamon rolls while we watched the gorgeous buck who graced us with his presence in our yard all morning long. When everyone was up we opened presents and laughed at the cats adrift in the sea of wrapping paper and later that morning I took the kiddo over to her dad’s.

Brandon and I did our traditional Christmas Day run – it was muddy and we had lead legs but it still felt fine to be out. And I need to say that he was absolutely wonderful for the entire holiday. He knew that the Christmas spirit never really landed with me this year so he quite happily organized his own cake and special Christmas birthday dinner (crabmeat Mac and cheese). There is never anything from him except simple good cheer and pleasure in whatever the day brings, which is a true gift in a partner. After the morning presents and run, he was perfectly content to have a quiet day at home with me and watch Christmas movies (A Castle for Christmas starring Brooke Shields and Cary Elwes was terrible and perfect for my mood and he also got to watch his traditional favorite, Scrooge with Albert Finney). Later that night we took a walk in the gothic, damp-foggy darkness to look at Christmas lights and wash the fug of warmth, rich foods and scented candles from our lungs.

I wasn’t depressed, exactly, just sort of subdued. It’s been a rough year. But the holiday was still special thanks to my partner and daughter who made everything bright and funny and full of gratitude for me.

This last week of the year is my favorite- between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t quite figure out what day it is and you have time to putter and get stuck into weird projects that you don’t otherwise have time for. On Boxing Day I mopped all the hardwood floors and put away and organized all of our wrapping paper, bows, tags, bags and ribbons in bins in the basement (we don’t need to buy wrapping paper for a decade, now that I see it all in one location). I’m technically off work but still have a contract to review at some point and I try to check emails every day or every other day to keep my inevitable return to work somewhat manageable. But otherwise, I’ll be knitting and reading, trying to fit in a few runs or workouts, and we’d like to head over to Ann Arbor and Detroit a couple of museum and shopping trips.

I hope you all had a merry holiday and have time this week to take stock. And that you get to do exactly what you want with your holiday decorations- spirit them away immediately and start 2022 clean, or keep them up as long as possible. Be well and stay healthy. xo