Author Archives: sara

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About sara

i live in michigan with my teenage daughter, my partner, and our three cats. i am a paralegal, legal manager and corporate governance specialist, and when i'm not reading contracts or maintaining the dusty archives of our arcane corporate history like some weirdly specific librarian, i enjoy knitting, books, running slowly, making candles, and bird-watching. i started blogging way back when I was an expat living in australia and in recent years have tried to be more diligent about keeping this space up to date and as a creative outlet for the things in my life that inspire me and balance my 9-5.

spring into summer

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I always have the best intentions to regularly update this space, and then I finally get around to writing and look back and realize I haven’t been here since March.

So what have I been up to since then? All the things I usually am. The kiddo has gone from her school year activities of band, soccer, and theater to her summer activities of Driver’s Ed (how??), band (always band), and art camp. Work has been busy and I have been active with running (sort of), knitting (probably need a whole post about that), and Weight Watchers. I have been pretty consistently on the WW app yet have only lost about 5 lbs in 2 months…menopause is a bitch.

We saw ‘Six’ at the Fisher, the kiddo had a spectacular run in ‘Hello Dolly’, we got a bond at the local pool club, and I got braces.

And I turned 50.

I started a whole solipsistic post about that and didn’t finish it (you’re welcome). I know age is just a number, but I really do feel a sea change about this particular number. I know I can’t just entirely retire in this decade, but I have been able to begin the process of evaluating where I am investing my time and energy and more importantly, why. During this decade, I hope to be more thoughtful about that and begin to swing away from doing things for other people and more for myself. Less because I ‘have’ to and more because I ‘want’ to. And when that’s not possible, to give myself grace in how I approach those things. For example – can I quit my job? No. Do I sometimes dream about retirement? Yes. But when I stop and think about it – I really like my job and even in retirement I don’t plan on giving up work altogether unless I’m forced to. So is it my job itself that I dream of giving up, or the mental stress and pressure I put on myself ABOUT my job that I can reconsider? It’s more about shifting the narrative about what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I work because I love being able to financially support myself, my home, and my daughter. I work because I really love the people I work with and am interested in the job I do. I GET to work. However, I also love who I am without work. I have no interest in being promoted, making more money, hustling, changing jobs, or advancing myself in any way other than showing up and doing a solid, ethical job at what I’m responsible for – but putting work on an equal footing with my family, my home, and MYSELF. Not letting it usurp other things I love and need, and take up more space than it should – and this decade, that is enough.

Same with my health. Would I love to lose 20 lbs and be the same weight I was ten years ago? Yep. Am I willing to put the work into doing that? Probably not. Am I tracking and using WW just for the weight loss and how I look? No. I feel better when I consider what I am putting into my body and have goals about the kind of foods I am eating, about drinking less wine, drinking more water. And running. Would I love to set a half-marathon PR that crushes what I could do ten years ago? Yes, but I don’t run because I am trying to do that (or even think that’s really possible). I am not doing these things to flog myself into being something I’m not. I run because I feel better when I move my body and I know that these things give me a greater ability to grow old gracefully in a healthy and happy way.

So those are the big things. In other news, it’s summertime here in SE MI and I’m looking forward to a relaxing evening at home with Brandon and then a busier day tomorrow. The Girl Scout troop (yes my kiddo and her friends are still hanging in there with Girl Scouts) and accompanying mom troop are all headed to Cincinnati on Sunday for a couple of days hanging out in a sprawling, historic AirBNB Victorian, cooking for each other, shopping, eating, and visiting King’s Island. Ten years ago the thought of these 2-3 days would have given me hives. Now – I’ve known these women since our kids were in second grade and they’re my mom tribe. They’re the women I text when I have questions about marching band or something happening at the high school. We are who we turn to when the school is on lockdown because of a threat investigation (which has happened no fewer than 8 times this year). So while this probably isn’t the ideal way I would spend my vacation days, I no longer have any anxiety about it – I’ll load up my books and knitting and they’ll know that I’ll be the first to go to bed and no one cares.

I do have plans for a knitting post and a Favorite Things post – I have lots of little fun conspicuous consumption items that I’ve found and have been enjoying. Whether those posts come in June, July, August or beyond – I make no promises. But be well in the meantime!

socializing, and ruminations on an extraction

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obligatory selfies from weekend out on the town

I’ve been overcommitted this week and am on the downhill slide to a truly reclusive weekend. Unfortunately, it’s St. Patrick’s day, and by midday, my beau will be home with two of his friends to put food coloring in beer before heading downtown to the pub to rub shoulders with tipsy suburbanites doing shots and bellowing Irish ditties. This is not my jam but I’m happy to watch him in full extrovert mode; the only Irish thing I will be doing today is executing the ‘Irish goodbye’ after a few minutes of obligatory socializing and going back upstairs to my computer and classical radio.

Last weekend we met up with friends of ours at Harbor House in Detroit for dinner and then headed over to the Fillmore to see Sarah Silverman. She rocked and best of all, her set was over by like 9pm so even with a quick drink afterwards at Cafe d’Mongo, our fave hole in the wall, we were home relatively early. Which was good because we’ve had something going on every day this week – soccer tryouts for the kiddo as well as a soccer parent meeting, a band concert for her, and various household tasks. I had a haircut, my Outback serviced in advance of our road trip to Virginia in a couple of weeks, and – biggest of all – had my tooth pulled to get ready for my orthodontics.

Re. the tooth pulling, my memory of such things from being a teenage dirtbag in braces did not adequately prepare me for the actual procedure. I don’t remember feeling particularly crummy afterwards but it WAS (ahem) 36 years ago so perhaps things have blurred around the edges. Also, my grandpa was my dentist, and I worked at his office starting from the age of 14 through summers in college. I had an intimate familiarity with the procedure, and when I was a bit older, I even assisted with extractions. I’m not sure the employment bureau or whichever office is in charge of such things would approve of a 16-year old handing massive forceps over and watching extractions and root canals and carting away the bloody detritus, but it gave me a healthy indifference to any sort of dental procedure and generally no fear where such things were concerned.

Now, decades later, even though my current non-grandpa dentist is gentle and fantastic, it was a really unpleasant experience, aggressive, bloody, and terrifying. I thought I had a high pain tolerance but I came home drenched in cold sweat. The first few hours weren’t bad but once the anesthetic wore off – and ever since – I’ve been a bit of a wreck. I slept for several hours the day of the extraction and the day after. I’m terrified of the mythical and horrible dry socket and today – 48 hours after the procedure – the swelling is at its worst and the stitches are pulling. The pain is just barely kept in check with a Motrin / Tylenol cocktail every 4 hours. (I also remember getting more high-powered pain meds as a teenager – at LEAST Tylenol 3.) I’m only eating soft foods like eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, and soup, taking Vitamin C and trying to rinse with warm salt water, all the recommended things, but I’m still in a lot of discomfort and finding it hard to focus on anything other than that. I feel like an elderly person chewing delicately on one side of my mouth and I’m astonished at the thought of people in the ‘old days’ who went in to their dentists and asked for ALL their teeth to just be pulled so they could get dentures. (I think this may have even been something one of my ancestral relatives did!) They must have just been constantly drunk back then.

At any rate, I’m hoping that by tomorrow things will be feeling less miserable and I can get back to some light exercise and more regular eating.

Hoping all of you are enjoying your Friday and looking forward to either a fantastic weekend of socializing or a quiet weekend of peace and rest (or a mix of both). Pray for my poor aching tooth socket if you would. xo

winds and clouds and changing skies

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It’s March and 2023 already feels pretty action packed. Our power grid in suburban Elysia is always a matter of heated local commentary and it’s been tested severely over the past couple of weeks. An ice storm knocked out about 500,000 households two weeks ago, and just as the vast majority of those folks were coming back online, we got hit with an unusually intense snowfall on Friday night that delivered another wallop. The snow started showering down at about 3:30 Friday afternoon – it was heavy and wet, and came down so fast that it took more trees, branches, and power lines with it. We made it all the way through our Friday night movie selection (“The ‘Burbs” which Brandon had never seen) and within seconds of the end credits, we heard the familiar sound of blowing transformers and the lights went out. I’ve lived in Michigan almost all my life and I’ve never experienced thunder snow and lightning before. It was amazing and terrifying. Luckily, I had the foresight to blow up our air mattress so we could sleep downstairs near the woodstove, so we were fairly comfortable, but still. It’s a matter of convenience. The rest of the weekend felt like a wash – power going off and on until Sunday mid-afternoon. When it was finally restored, we could start laundry, meal plan for the week ahead, restock the fridge, etc. Pretty much everyone in the neighborhood is just pissed and done with the fact that our power goes out whenever someone sneezes. There will be a long line of generator customers (including us) once tax refund checks are delivered.

Anyway – it’s March and I have some goals!

Firstly – health and self-image – I am getting my teeth fixed. I resisted for a long time but my dentist told me before the holidays that my bite has become so bad that my teeth are actually loose on top and chipping on the bottom. I had braces as a kid, but I didn’t wear my retainers so….cautionary tale. I went in for an ortho consult last week and unfortunately, Invisalign is not an option…I need an extraction to relieve overcrowding and then it’s good old-fashioned brackets and bands for me. Starting soon.

Also in the health and self-image category – I’m back on Weight Watchers. While I’m all about body positivity, and embracing that my peri-menopausal body at 49 and 8 months is never going to look like it did before (and that’s okay) – I would really like to feel a bit better in my clothes than I do currently. I am short, and I gain weight around my belly and as a result I can just look barrel-shaped which makes finding pants that fit almost impossible. So another March goal is tracking and doing better with my food choices and getting back into some of my work pants. It’s also somewhat true that once I do one positive thing for my overall health and well-being (see ortho above) then I feel inspired to do other things. I spontaneously re-upped Weight Watchers a few hours after my ortho consult.

Professional goals – Although Widget Central has been fairly lax about hybrid schedule and working from home, I’m conscious that these things are much about perception, too, so in March I will try to be more faithful to 2-3 days a week in the physical office building. I’ve been averaging about 1 office day a week since January. I like work from home, but I also don’t mind time in the office, so this shouldn’t be a major problem for me – the biggest thing is just planning to pack my lunch and snacks (which should also be good because – see above with weight issues).

Miscellaneous goals include keeping up with my 2023 reading challenge, running at least 20 miles, blogging once a week and finishing at least 1 knitting project. I’ll check in on these things at the beginning of April, hopefully in a bit more organized format.

Not really a goal here, but at the end of the month, for the kiddo’s Spring Break, we’ll be taking a trip to Williamsburg, VA – she’s going to be 15 this summer so she has probably already aged out of the ‘educational trip with parents’ bracket, but I still think it will be cool for her to see Williamsburg and Jamestown, the weather should be mild and pleasant, the hotel has an indoor pool and we’ll eat some nice meals. I’m currently trying to decide whether to drive our Subaru Outback (the inexpensive route) or rent a more comfy minivan for the 20ish hour (round trip) drive.

And of course there are the usual tasks of getting taxes done (tomorrow), running the kiddo around to theater rehearsals (Hello, Dolly! in May! she plays the judge!) and marching band and music lessons and scheduling her summer music camp and driver’s education class in June (!!).

And that’s our March.

The title of my post is from William C. Bryant: “The stormy March has come at last, With winds and clouds and changing skies; I hear the rushing of the blast That through the snowy valley flies.”

day in detroit

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Eastern Market Antiques

For her 50th, my bestie’s daughters arranged a weekend getaway for us. We started out with facials at Eden Esthetics. 10/10 would recommend. We left with soft, glass-like skin and immediately hoofed it to Eastern Market. We were late for the market but had a light lunch and tea and checked out Eastern Market Antiques. Bestie found a fantastic vintage sleeveless house dress in grey and mustard and a pair of fringed grey moccasin boots.

We stayed in northern Detroit, at a loft in Milwaukee Junction, near the railroad junction of the Grand Trunk Western’s predecessors. It’s a heavily industrialized area and home to many 1920’s-era automotive factories, including the Ford factory where the first Model T was built. Now, some of those abandoned factories are being repurposed as lofts and eclectic galleries and shops. Our loft was an interesting factory space, under a graffiti-blazed overpass and surrounded by what looked like actual blight. It was rugged but hip. The radiators churned and kept the place at an almost unhealthy temperature, we could hear just about everything through the walls – and in Detroit that’s not a great thing – and the freight trains rumbled through at odd hours. As is typical in Detroit, Milwaukee Junction felt massive and empty, looming factory spaces and broken streets, devoid of cars or pedestrians, the population underground and nocturnal. Feral nature has taken over for decades and across the parking lot, under a rusted and unused water tower, a small wetland full of swaying reeds and egrets.

Brandon met us for dinner at San Morello downtown in the Shinola hotel. We split several dishes including a fantastic small pizza and gnocchi with truffles and a bottle of Syrah. We lingered at the Queens Bar next door before ending the night singing “Crocodile Rock” (Bestie’s husband the next day: “Wait, you were ‘Crocodile Rock’ drunk?!?”) with the live band at Cafe D’Mongo’s Speakeasy. This is one of the best little bars in Detroit, where you end up friends with everyone.

I came home on Sunday with a gastro bug that was unrelated to the evening festivities and spent an otherwise enjoyable day relaxing before the Super Bowl. Def sad to see the Eagles lose but a great game regardless and with my social obligations out of the way, I can revel in complete earned introversion for awhile!

Quick selfie at Queens Bar. I had to, I was wearing makeup for a change.

sentence per picture

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Gifts from Brandon’s recent trip. ♥️

Daily Tarot card pulls and this Queen has come up for me twice in two weeks.

Obligatory cute cat pic starring Emmett.

My work pants are perilously close to not fitting me; thinking about these “Dream Pants” but afraid I’ll look like a chimney sweep in them.

Windy, warm, and wet for Michigan February.

Finished the Road Trippin’ hat in time for my bestie’s 50th birthday celebration this weekend – we have an AirBnB, champagne, facial and dinner reservations, and an itinerary of vintage and antique stores to explore.

TGIF! xo

a quick friday hello

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It’s just a quick Friday hello from the depths of the Michigan February refrigerator. We’ve entered the time of the winter season that’s the hardest for me. The cold has turned dry and grinding (several three-cat nights and single-digit mornings). Running outside is dangerous because of the slick conditions so the exercise I get is indoors and unsatisfactory. In summary I am bloated, tired, pale and pimply.

Every morning on the school run, though, the sunrise is more vivid, streaks of blue and pink and gold, over the steeple of the Catholic church on the hill. We are moving back towards the light. I made it into the office twice this week and my biggest battle has been the high school after-school pickup line. It’s always an exercise in kamikaze driving, cutting each other off and angling for a spot, minivans on two wheels and SUV’s making questionable judgments. But if that’s the worst of my week, then I know my week is going pretty well.

drinking from a fire hose

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My brother recently said that his week felt like drinking from a fire hose and I thought it was such a perfect description of my 2023 so far. As always, there are things that I can’t / won’t blog about but let me just say that teenagers are no joke, y’all. There are times when I feel like a stranger has taken up residence in my kiddo’s appallingly messy bedroom and is stomping around in her new varsity jacket. I know we all go through this terrifying developmental stage and my own parents advised me on more than one occasion that I was a massive storm cloud during my teen years but sometimes you have to live with it to really get it. And kids these days have very different concerns and stressors than we did with the omnipresent influence of technology and social media. Sooo… deep breath, both hands on the wheel.

Likes this week: A mid-week snow storm which didn’t disrupt my life too badly, just laid down a nice fluffy blanket of white that’s been largely absent so far this winter. Looking up at almost 6pm the other day and seeing that it was still light outside (we’re starting to move out of the dark season now). Keeping up with my 2023 reading challenge and finding a new cozy series (the Dr. Nell Ward mysteries by Sarah Yarwood-Lovett) to keep me occupied. Keeping up with my vitamin D and happily finding the missing 3 cards from the tarot deck that my parents gave me for Christmas when I turned 14.

Dislikes this week: See first paragraph above.

This weekend is a breakfast with my bestie and a big football day on Sunday for Brandon, via his team the Bengals. TGIF!

WIPS and soon-to-be cast-ons: with bonus cross-stitch!

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I started the New Year with 3 WIP knitting projects and 2 more ready to cast on.

WIPs

  • A Homespun House Cozy Comfort throw – this has been in process for awhile now but it’s a blanket, so those usually take me years. I started this last January or February with minis from my A Homespun House Advent calendar held double with Purl Soho line weight merino (yes this was a splurge but it was so worth it). This is my mindless TV knitting and I actually worked on it a lot over the holiday break. It’s knitting up squashy and soft and I love seeing how each mini-skein’s colorway blends or stands out with the prior one.
  • Clinton Hill Cashmere’s Bandit Cowl in their bespoke cashmere DK in the Forest colorway. This yarn is knitting nirvana and this is a small indulgence project. I keep this one in my purse or in the car as it is extremely portable “waiting” knitting for when the kid is off doing something and I’m the chauffeur waiting to drive her home.
  • The Secret Garden knitted dishcloth from the Kitchen Sink Shop. At some point, she released a free dishcloth pattern every month. I went back and tried to find them all on Ravelry but could only find a few that were still free, and this is one of them. I’m just using cheap cotton from the craft store in a navy blue and this will probably be gift knitting in a package of little things for my bestie. It’s a little rough to work on cotton after the cloudy softness of line weight merino and bespoke cashmere but it’s a fun knit and the pattern emerges in a very satisfying way.

Ready to Cast On

  • Road Trippin’ Hat – a free pattern by one of my favorite knitting vloggers, Christina Lundborg of ‘Chelsea Yarns’. I need to use up some of my seemingly bottomless stash of fun sock yarn so I picked a skein of Targhee Sock by Oink Pigments (“Smoky Purl”) that I bought at the Quarter Stitch yarn shop in New Orleans and I’ll be holding it double with a Chelsea Yarns Luxe Mohair (“London Fog”).
  • When I took my crochet class last fall at Spun in Ann Arbor, most of my classmates were already knitters so there were some pretty cool handknits being worn. One of my classmates had a careless yet absolutely elegant little triangle scarf / shawl made, she said, from a set of Harry Potter minis in a pattern she couldn’t remember. I was instantaneously envious and needed it in my life. I got myself a Christmas Advent set with this in mind, picking Six & Seven Fiber’s Literary Women 8-skein fingering weight mini set, and with 5 selected colors I’ll be casting on the Mini Solutions Scarf by Kelene Kinnersly Designs very soon (I’ve selected Amy Tan, Toni Morrison, Mary Shelley, Celie, and Louisa May Alcott for my colors!).

Cross- Stitch

I started cross-stitching a couple of years ago and am still plugging away periodically on a seasons sampler, although I haven’t picked it up in awhile. Since October I’ve almost exclusively been working on this Jacob Marley piece by Lindsay Swearingen of ‘Tusk and Cardinal’. The only thing I do more slowly than knit is cross-stitch, and I think it’s pretty funny that this is exactly half-done. The chart prints out half and half on two separate pages and I only printed one page to start with. Then, over the holidays, our printer ran out of ink so I couldn’t print the second half until quite recently. But it’s been fun to fold it over and see how it will look when it’s finished.

LIndsey Swearingen is worth checking out on IG if you’re a cross-stitcher and her book “Creepy Cross-Stitch” is full of fantastically gothic and elegant pieces that I would love to have on my office walls.

I’m being pretty lazy and not linking these projects and patterns, but they’re (mostly) all on Ravelry or for purchase from the yarn web page (as is the case with the Clinton Hill project). I also update my own Ravelry project pages (I’m sixtenpine over there) fairly regularly as things come off the needles or start taking shape, so please check me out if you are looking for more specific information like pattern links, yarn sizes, and notes. I hope you are all starting off your New Year with some fun and satisfying projects. I look forward to revisiting these pieces and providing status updates of my tortoise-speed progress! xo

friday files – weather and likes / dislikes this week

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We’re getting long stretches of mild and uninspiring weather here in SE Michigan – no snow, no sun, not much except a cool grey damp. Is this climate change in action? Winters of my childhood seemed much different, with snow so deep we could dig igloos and tunnels in it, elementary school lockers crowded with wet-smelling coats and mittens, clumping home in moon boots that leaked and had to be lined with bread bags. Regardless, it makes running outside feasible so I’m hoping my January running will be much better than the last 2 years (I don’t think I did more than 10 total miles in January in 2021 and 2022).

A few good things this week: The Elvis birthday movie on Saturday night was everything we hoped it would be – a true Elvis / Colonel Tom Parker stinker called ‘Spinout’. No real plot to speak of, disjointed and ill-timed music numbers (one of which was called ‘Smorgasbord’, which referred to all of the women that Elvis’s character liked to enjoy being a single swinger). We chatted with the theater owner for awhile after the show and recommended ‘Clambake’ for next year’s offering.

My boss and I were finally in the office at the same time this week and she gave me a Christmas present – the Five Minute Journal. My boss is pretty amazing and always thinks of me around the holidays, usually with a nice bottle of champagne. But for a journal geek like me, this gift was perfect. I’m really looking forward to spending some time with it. This will be the 3rd journal / planner I keep – I have a Hobonichi Techo for my personal / family life, a five year journal that I’m 3 years into, and now this.

Other likes: ‘Pale Blue Eye’ on Netflix, which we’re about halfway through – massive shout out that Edgar Allan Poe is played by Dudley of Harry Potter film fame which is an almost unbelievable transformation. My work pants still fit (barely). I’ve been watching a lot of homesteading channels on YouTube (recently just found Little Spanish Farmstead and Hannah Lee Duggan).

two weeks in a row of painting my nails!
I don’t even know who I am anymore!

Dislikes this week: I picked up “Livid”, the new Patricia Cornwell, off my library reserve list and so far it is a dud. I’m going to keep going with it but this is a disappointment, since I really enjoyed the last one. MTC on this but so far this is just an ‘everyone is part of a massive conspiracy out to get Scarpetta’ and those are so tiring. I have to go for an ortho consult on Monday because my bite is so bad that my teeth are loose and some are chipping and my dentist can’t do Invisalign out of his office, he has to outsource me due to the complications.

The weekend will be quiet with the kiddo preparing for final exams and Brandon still on a six day work schedule. I hope everyone is able to recharge and enjoy!

there’s a world outside of yonkers…

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The first full week of 2023 was one of those strange ones that feel almost like a failure to launch. Although I was back to working in my home office after Monday, Brandon had some light workdays and the kiddo is still off from school. So there was some banging around in the kitchen as they made lunches and snacks and I think there may have been some shared episodes of “Rick and Morty” between the two of them. Otherwise the kiddo is at the age where she can sleep til 11:30 and keep herself occupied – smoothies with friends, working out, art projects and movie rentals on Prime. She’s also been prepping her audition for spring theater’s “Hello Dolly” production so we are all singing “BARNABYYYY” a lot lately.

We also met up with some of her friends and their moms on Wednesday night for pizza and – indoor skydiving (?!) I did not skydive (although one of the mom tribe did and said it was fun but short) instead choosing to knit on my Clinton Hill Cashmere Bandit Cowl and kibbitz with other moms.

iFly Detroit

It was pretty much chaos at work for reasons that I of course can’t share here.

I started a new book – the third in Tamsyn Muir’s Locked Tomb series, which I forgot to mention as one of my favorites of 2022. I’m not sure I understand any of it but it’s phenomenal – the tagline on the first of the series (which was also my favorite) promises “lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space! Decadent nobles vie to serve the deathless emperor! Skeletons!” There’s way more to it but yeah, it’s epic.

Likes this week: black leggings, Wishful enzyme scrub, Essie gel “Behind the Glass” on my nails, Damar Hamlin, Chapstick Total Hydration tinted lip oil, using my Verilux Happy Light at my desk during these dark days, listening to A Little Bit Culty podcast with a player from the Nexivm insanity, taking all my vitamins every day this week and being riveted to the chaos over the Speaker.

Dislikes: rehabbing a pulled muscle in my back and not running all week, Harry and Meghan, menopausal issues on high all week, post-holiday letdown, this time of year until essentially the end of March, people who don’t do what they say they’re going to do / being blindsided by that, George Santos, and bring riveted to the chaos over the Speaker.

This weekend is Elvis’s birthday which we may celebrate by going to see an Elvis movie at the local cinema (if I can stay awake). It’s also the big audition – so tonight it’s thawed leftovers from the Annual Freezer Cleanout, a fire in the woodstove, and a “Hello Dolly” rental for additional inspiration and research. TGIF!