I read the post Gentle January on Joy the Baker and it really spoke to what I feel like I need this January. In Michigan, Januaries (and Februaries and Marches and sometimes Aprils) are hard. We gain back almost an hour of daylight this month, but the weather is at its grim best. The wind bites, the trees shiver under an endless slate-grey sky, and the sun doesn’t appear for days. Or weeks.

And everywhere, the holidays are over. There seems to be nothing to look forward to and everything that I put off in December has now come home to roost. What is cozy and hygge in early December, in the glow of candles and lights and presents and piles of good eats, is merely bleak midwinter in January.

All too often I’ve gotten up on January 1 and brutally forced myself to confront the real world, but one that is more harsh and full of deprivation that my typical ‘real world’. I go on a diet, I go on a budget, I set new work goals and exercise goals and then wonder why I spend January vacillating between grumpiness and despair.

This year, even before I knew about the concept of gentle January, I was organically embracing it. The truth is that I’m sick of lashing myself with a whip of self-directed “I really shoulds” and “I really need tos”. I would say I’m too old for that but that’s a thought that seems to go along more with my old self. Instead, maybe I’m just now at a point where I’m ready to meet myself where I am and be accepting, rather than self-critical.

Yes, I’m trying to get more movement but not only because of the number on the scale. It gives me joy and helps my mental health exponentially. I’m leaning into supportive and motivational online communities and using it as a time to be mindful and reflective. Yes, I’m back to work, and I’d absolutely prefer to be done with corporate life – but I long ago reconciled myself to the necessity of it and I try to enjoy the process and the people, and have gratitude for what it gives me. Yes, I am being more conscious of what I put into my body but I can do it in a way that feels rewarding and nurturing rather than restrictive and punitive.

We greeted this season as many do, by decluttering the holiday fluff. We took the Christmas stuff down and while we were at it, we “audited” all of our holiday decorations, garlands, lights and wreaths. We streamlined the number of bins and now we have a big pile for donations. This was a great idea that I got from Benita Larsson and her Scandi-enjoyable vlog. And the process gave Brandon major joy since he is the self proclaimed reincarnation of an English butler.

I’m embracing early bedtimes and hot tea. When I feel down in the mornings, I turn on my “happy lamp” for awhile and experience a perceptible pick-up. I’m experimenting with new recipes and mocktails. I’m using that feeling of wistfulness when the early darkness comes on as an excuse to get out for an eleven minute walk. Then I come home and take a hot bath with some scented Epsom salts and slather on a good thick lotion. Sometimes my walks are longer (like when I want to check out the offerings in one of the multiple Little Free Libraries in my area) and sometimes I do them at lunch, if there’s a chance I can get a glimpse of sunshine. (On those days, I always see other sun-seekers out, too. I never realized how many walkers there are in my neighborhood during the day. And when there’s sun, there are always a few of us paused along our routes with our faces lifted up to catch the light, eyes closed in full enjoyment.) Sometimes I can even convince a reluctant teen to come with me and share a bit of what she is thinking about lately.

The cold weather has also allowed me to develop a minor obsession with merino wool. I’ve known about merino wool for a long time, being a knitter, but I had no idea what a luxurious splurgy yet totally practical joy merino wool is in garments. IT’S NOT ITCHY! I am collecting it gradually and breaking my bank on it but hopeful that the pieces I’m acquiring – a headband, a neck gaiter, leggings, base layers for running, and of course socks – will serve me for years to come. I’d love to get a dress someday although I am very leery about ordering it online because my figure would definitely require try-ons. I do, however, love reading the challenges that people do where they pick a piece and wear it for 30 or 100 days (I love a good capsule wardrobe and checking out other people’s styles).

Hopefully you are all finding ways to show love to yourself too, and be gentle in January at the start of 2024.