Pot Roast | sunshine | yawn.

Last weekend it was almost 80 degrees F. here in Michigan and we were living the dream – we went running in the sunshine, did yard work, sat in the green oasis of our patio, put up the hummingbird feeder and exclaimed over our first Ruby-throated hummingbird visitor – imagine that GIF of Leonardo di Caprio in “Great Gatsby” holding up a brimming champagne glass with a look of supercilious contentment and that was me. Now flash to this week, temps unseasonably cold, skies grey, freeze warnings, snow in the forecast for the weekend, and I’ve crashed, hard.

Michigan is still on lockdown and people here have lost their minds about it. In the past couple of weeks, we’ve been on the nightly news for MAGA rednecks protesting the stay home order toting AR-15s inside our Capitol Building, a security guard murdered for doing his job by telling a customer that she had to wear a face mask, and another essential worker at a store assaulted by a gross old man who wiped his nose on her (I don’t usually read comments on news stories because it makes me fear for the future of the human race, but I did in this instance; best comments, hands down: “I woulda slapped those Stevie Wonder glasses clean off his face”).  I don’t know what is wrong with people here but I cannot fucking wrap my head around it. The vitriolic comments about our governor stem, I believe, almost entirely from the fact that she is a woman, and if it was a male governor telling the state to stay home under similar conditions (Michigan is #7 in the national rankings of Covid-19 infections) – they would not be facing this kind of backlash. I blame Trump for this tone of absolute disrespect and contempt for the greater good – we have a president who is gleeful about sowing partisan divisions and squirting kerosene on simmering resentments with tweets like “LIBERATE MICHIGAN” and ravaging previous presidents (even those in his own party) for coming forward with words of unity and hope. And PEOPLE STILL SUPPORT HIM.

It actually kinda makes me want to stay home forever, honestly.

I understand that I come from a place of privilege, and while I will never support acts like the ones I detail above, or putting anyone else’s safety at risk for any reason, I have enormous sympathy for people who have lost loved ones or are living in economic uncertainty.  I am fortunate that I can live frugally, support myself and my family, and can weather this storm, plus have the good health of my family and friends.

I am among the lucky ones who can do my job from my dining room table with my kid sitting across from me doing her work. I hate not being able to get a haircut, as I am well into the bushy-haired, mushroom-head phase of quarantine, and I am jonesing for a nice long Target walk with a Starbucks in hand, but I know these things will come in time. I realized yesterday while Miss L and I were out for our lunchtime walk that this is the longest I’ve been home with her since my maternity leave and what a true gift that is. And just for now, I will take it, where I am right now: the moody ups and downs, the bushy hair, the grey skies, the chaos and divisions, Skype calls and Google Classroom meetings, the civil disagreements, the face masks, wearing sweatpants 24/7, watching spring unfold in fits and starts, and be glad.