I’ve been putting off this post all week, making the excuse that I’m getting used to “the new normal”, being at home, trying to set up a new routine, be productive, be upbeat, be calm, be responsive. The truth is I just don’t know what I have to offer at this point that’s any different than what all of us are experiencing. We’re all scared, mad, anxious, confused, worried, and I’m no different. I’m scared of the empty shelves at the grocery store and worried about my family and my friends and myself. I’m worried who will take care of my daughter and my pets if I get sick. I’m worried about my company’s ability to weather this. I worry about my girl, her physical and mental health during this scary time, and my parents and Brandon who is still out there every day doing his normal job.
I’m mad that some days it feels like I’m carrying that burden all by myself.
I don’t have a “but then I realize…” triumphant recovery paragraph to come after that.
The only thing I really know is that I am not alone. I hear the same cracking tone in my colleagues voices over our teleconferences, admitting that they can’t watch the news, admitting that their kids are freaking out with cabin fever, and they’re not the best at homeschooling and trying to get the reports out on time.
All I can do is keep checking in on the people I love and who love me, try to be prepared but not panicked, be willing to share and offer support and whatever supplies I might have to spare. Keep showing up to my little home office with my unpaid feline interns. And be full of gratitude for my extreme privilege, which so far has kept these things as worrisome spectors and not tragic realities.
I do believe that people have the ability to be their best in a crisis and there’s no one in history I admire more than the Londoners during the Blitz huddling underground at night during bombing raids and then getting up to carry on with their days and their families and their jobs. If this is my London Blitz then I want to be like I imagine they were.
Anyway, that’s all I have for now. Next time I will come back with a stiff upper lip and some knitting, some running, and another report. Be well and take care of yourselves and others and keep in touch. xo
Six Ten 
I saw this referred to as a “generation defining moment” someplace recently and I think that’s true, as it was for those Londoners you admire. I’m trusting we can all get through this, but yes, it’s very difficult and scary.
Sending you and your family big hugs. I think we’ll all be processing this situation and its impact on our lives for awhile. I’m so glad that you have the capability to work from home. I can’t imagine how challenging it must be to have to worry about homeschooling on top of it…
This is interesting, I’ve been also thinking about my grandparents in the WW2 in Poland and how they fought in the resistance and studied in the underground university as it was forbidden by the Germans and still had to carry on, go to their enforced work, find food for the family etc. Never knowing if they’d come back home in the evening after the long day, as they could easily be just another casualty out of the millions of other Poles. And they made it and moved on, so why did we take our privilege for granted when so many other generations didn’t have our freedom and luxuries? I’m not sure if it helps me to think this way honestly but just wanted to share I’m having similar thoughts. Sort of like… I always knew it our luck would run out eventually.
*hugses* I think we all have struggle days, but at least we have the internet and blogland so we can all get through it together 🙂