It’s November 19and I already have the winter blues.

Typically November is one of my favorite months – I love running in November (turkey trots!), putting the yard to bed for winter, the whole harvest vibe. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because it has most of the joy of Christmas without the additional stress and conspicuous consumption. I love the gradually deepening darkness and the bare trees. And in one fell swoop, November was taken away and we were thrust into February. Last week we got six inches of snow and it was in the single digits at night and there was a snow day at Miss L’s school. This week, it’s still unseasonably cold and there is lingering snow and the sidewalks and streets are treacherous with leftover ice.

We have deer in our village, and a six-point buck strolls casually through the backyard. I’ve been reading lots of reports of coyote sightings, too, and one of the neighbors stopped by this weekend to tell Brandon that she saw three of them sitting in our front yard. It feels like a book chapter in which the river freezes in a brutal winter and wolves cross the ice to raid the townsfolk’s farms and livestock.

I’m not sure if the two are related, but I’ve been struggling with my mood for the past week, too. I’m on a low dose of a very effective antidepressant but every now and then – like something buried far beneath the surface that sometimes moves and catches a glinting reflection of daylight to remind me it’s still there – I have a whisper of that old feeling, the old “what happens when the other shoe drops” feeling. Some of it is hormonal and some of it is that I just haven’t been very active since the Savannah half, so I need to get back to regular runs and long walks and lunchtime elliptical sessions with my book. I’m trying to seek out opportunities for hygge & Brandon is fully on board with fires at night and scented candles and yummy dinners. I’m knitting a lot, just finished up L’s fingerless chunky mitts and a new flat hat for her in black; still trucking with my sweater knitting and about to cast on for a new hot water bottle cover. And I am drinking a lot of tea – Constant Comment, Sleepytime, a yaupon tea that I bought in Savannah – and have new pink heels for work.

But I can’t help but feel that I’m raiding my midwinter emergency kit way too early this year.